I have a lot of goodness in my life despite several catastrophes that have transpired.
I am doing well in my classes, and have developed a circle of people that I look forward to seeing on campus. I can't really call them friends, but classmates and mutual members of student organizations. The president of SSDP put in a good word for me in Student Government, in which I may be on the executive board next semester. This guy, the president is so fucking awesome... Not only did he get me first dibs on the MAPS scholarship, he booked our hotel and then Student Government... Its so unreal to me that a person who barely knows me beyond my drug knowledge and my major ---would stick his next out for me.
The kindness of others surprises me that I would deserve any of such.
However, if I were him- I would do the same for others as well.
Really, the only thing at this time that is killing me is the money factor. I really dont want a job, but because of recent events I must attain one. I am extremely scared of this (past events with my last job), and hope I can get one on campus.
Outside of this, I got a Monroe piercing and it has healed perfectly. Tomorrow MGS and I will be hiking them there mountains with a bit of a sparkle and churn so to speak.
2C-C and 5-MeO-DMT. I've been wearing a vial of 5-MeO-DMT as to get my body's vibrations aligned with that of the substance.
This will be the first time I've tripped in 2 years. CRAZY I KNOW. I had said something to this effect in the PD "it was a strange dynamic of always having a beautiful time, but it wasn't her it was me."
I guess for a long time I tried to move completely away from drugs and psychedelics. Mainly because of MGS's opiate withdrawal and drug addictions. I held ill feelings towards substances for a time, because they were the mechanism in which my life became unstable.
Now I have learned, that I cannot conceal and stow away part of who I am and that one way or another "it" (psychoactives) will appear in my life. Like when my boss saw my history of Bluelight on the work computer and went crazy over me and telling me I do too many drugs --- yadda yadda. When in fact I hadn't touched a thing in years. This is when I realized-- "WHY would I even care to listen or justify myself to a person who carries such prejudgments?" Like wearing a mask constantly, trying to separate myself --- from myself.
Anyhoot, so here I am being myself. Advocacy, doin my thing of excellence.
All is good.
I am doing well in my classes, and have developed a circle of people that I look forward to seeing on campus. I can't really call them friends, but classmates and mutual members of student organizations. The president of SSDP put in a good word for me in Student Government, in which I may be on the executive board next semester. This guy, the president is so fucking awesome... Not only did he get me first dibs on the MAPS scholarship, he booked our hotel and then Student Government... Its so unreal to me that a person who barely knows me beyond my drug knowledge and my major ---would stick his next out for me.
The kindness of others surprises me that I would deserve any of such.
However, if I were him- I would do the same for others as well.
Really, the only thing at this time that is killing me is the money factor. I really dont want a job, but because of recent events I must attain one. I am extremely scared of this (past events with my last job), and hope I can get one on campus.
Outside of this, I got a Monroe piercing and it has healed perfectly. Tomorrow MGS and I will be hiking them there mountains with a bit of a sparkle and churn so to speak.
2C-C and 5-MeO-DMT. I've been wearing a vial of 5-MeO-DMT as to get my body's vibrations aligned with that of the substance. This will be the first time I've tripped in 2 years. CRAZY I KNOW. I had said something to this effect in the PD "it was a strange dynamic of always having a beautiful time, but it wasn't her it was me."
I guess for a long time I tried to move completely away from drugs and psychedelics. Mainly because of MGS's opiate withdrawal and drug addictions. I held ill feelings towards substances for a time, because they were the mechanism in which my life became unstable.
Now I have learned, that I cannot conceal and stow away part of who I am and that one way or another "it" (psychoactives) will appear in my life. Like when my boss saw my history of Bluelight on the work computer and went crazy over me and telling me I do too many drugs --- yadda yadda. When in fact I hadn't touched a thing in years. This is when I realized-- "WHY would I even care to listen or justify myself to a person who carries such prejudgments?" Like wearing a mask constantly, trying to separate myself --- from myself.
Anyhoot, so here I am being myself. Advocacy, doin my thing of excellence.
All is good.
Boo to him! haha
