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Ex slept with someone I don't know what to do

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Sam9901

Greenlighter
Joined
Mar 17, 2016
Messages
6
In a nut shell I'm 17 (I know you might say I'm too young and move on and everything but it's not that easy really I care about this girl) she started a job in September and I accepted I wouldn't see her as much but in January she started getting quite close to a guy at work. A few from her work went out drinking and about 2/3 weeks after we broke up she got drunk and went and slept with a guy at work to try to probe to herself she can get past me. I'm the first person she had sex with and we were together about 10 months before this happened after it she kept distant pushed me away and made excuses not to meet up or do things (we were still pretty close and going to try again when we broke up) she told me she slept with this guy last night now I just don't know what to do. I still love her and care but I don't know wetter I should get back with her or not. She said that sleeping with him didn't help at all and she spent hours crying to Me saying she was sorry. We weren't together but still we were close and as I say I was the first person shed done anything with. Any help or advise would be really appreciated guys.
 
The best advice would be to avoid getting into serious relationship at your age, or if you're in one get out asap. Most likely she'll just keep on hurting you.
 
We're not together now and things were great up until the end it's only this one time where she stayed over in another town after going drinking. I've always been quite mature when it came to relationships but this has just left me not knowing how to act or feel or where to go next
 
Its impossible for me to get an idea of this girls personality but my assumption would be that she is going to "explore her options" for the next 7 years or so.

She going off to college? Try not to get too attached imo.
 
She isn't going to college she has an apprenticeship with BAE systems so she's going to be working for them for the foreseeable future

It was petty arguments and we started taking each other for granted like we'd said we'll just give each other space for a while to see if we missed each other and all
 
Yeah I think I'll spend some time with her this weekend and see how it goes then go from there
 
Sam9901 said:
She isn't going to college she has an apprenticeship with BAE systems so she's going to be working for them for the foreseeable future

It was petty arguments and we started taking each other for granted like we'd said we'll just give each other space for a while to see if we missed each other and all
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Hm, seems like pretty minor, petty stuff., especially since you guys have been dating for almost a year. Like her not going to college, is that really a big deal considering she does have a job? possibly career in progress?

Interesting that you both felt like you were taking each other for granted... because she ended up sleeping with someone else, and then expecting you to still take her back? That's seriously taking someone for granted...! Also, space to see if you guys would miss each other... and space made her find comfort... not in YOU, not missing YOU, but another guy? HRMMM...
 
Didn't read a single sentence in any post just the title

She's your ex dude. But the quickest way to get over a girl is to get under a new one
:)
 
Pretty_Diamonds said:
Why did you guys break up in the first place?
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That's a good question. Every relationship has problems and the way you handle them tells more about the relation itself then the problems.

If your problems or fights last and generates anger for longer periods of time, this is obviously not good. And maybe you should move on.
But before doing that maybe you should ask yourself if you've done everything you could in order to resolve the issues, would that case?

Being in a relationship means working on it everyday regardless of how small every action may be or how old you are.
You don't break up because you fight all the time but mostly because you can't solve the problems despite all your efforts.
You see my point. And if she's not doing that it does not mean that you have to do the same. Is she worth it?
 
I just spent a long time typing out a long and drawn out answer and then it wouldn't let me post it. Chit
 
Quick answer - no. Distance yourself from her and focus on other points in your life - it will save you a lot of future heart ache. She dosent feel the same for you as you do for her. I hope that dosent sound too harsh , I wish you and her the best of luck
 
Thank you everyone I think I'll just try to sort out the things that are wrong in my life and focus on me. If sometime down the line we start talking again I'll react to that when it comes around
 
Things like boyfriend/girlfriend relationships may appear to be significant in high school, but most of them are not. Even if you are truly in love at seventeen, that can change in the blink of an eye. Having had several girls in high school that I thought would surely be in my life forever and not talking to a single one of them ten years later..That's just how things seem to work.

Age aside, she went out to meet someone else in an attempt to move on from you. Maybe you deserve that same chance? I would try to meet a new girl if I were you. Who knows, maybe one day you two will reunite to try again. It happens all the time.
 
Cosmic Giraffe said:
Things like boyfriend/girlfriend relationships may appear to be significant in high school, but most of them are not. Even if you are truly in love at seventeen, that can change in the blink of an eye. Having had several girls in high school that I thought would surely be in my life forever and not talking to a single one of them ten years later..That's just how things seem to work.

Age aside, she went out to meet someone else in an attempt to move on from you. Maybe you deserve that same chance? I would try to meet a new girl if I were you. Who knows, maybe one day you two will reunite to try again. It happens all the time.
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But, COSGIR, there are some relationships that do last beyond high school - the high school sweetheart forevermore type relationship, these are the cutest and most sought after if one can make it work.

But having said that, if they are not a permanent item and already doing things like sleeping with others, it is probably doomed to fail.

I think high school sweethearts remain just that, they are committed to each other for life. They are rare, and few and far between - the ones that work, anyways.

It's hard at that age, too. With your hormones pulling you in all directions, so it is such a huge ask to commit to just one girl. But if the love it there, it is possible. Just not if one of the parties starts cheating on the other out of being selfish.

High school sweethearts are thoughtful of one another and remain that way for their life, in my opinion.
 
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