Ex-Opiate addict. Pain relief question.

[Audio Terrorist]

Hello, a few years ago I lost a family member, a job and was suffering from depression. I found that opiates helped with the emotional pain I was suffering at the time.

Like many many people before me, I thought I was smarter than the millions of people that got into the cycle of addiction. I would only take opiates on really bad days and everything would be ok. But then, without a job, boredom also sets in and before I knew it I had gone from using (always orally, I've never used needles on myself) a couple of hundred mg of codeine once or twice weekly to 200mg of morphine/100mg Oxycodone/up to a gram of Dihydrocodeine etc... once or twice a day.

I decided that I would stop using after things picked up for me, I got a full time job which meant I was either too busy or tired to be taking anything, I'd gone through the greiving process and that's when the withdrawls started. I never hit "Rock Bottom" as I was in a lucky enough situation to have an almost unlimited, very affordable and extremely reliable supply. I've seen depictured on TV and in films, the pain of withdrawl but I was finally feeling it, and OWW! That shit hurts! Not just the physical pain, but the emotional pain, the restlessness accompanied by exhaustion, the cold sweats, having to find new ways of dealing with bad emotions/boredom. I can honestly say that it was the worst experience of my life.

I put myself on a rather rapid taper (without help from anyone else) and had totally stopped within about 2 weeks. The withdrawls were ongoing but at least the worst was over.

I've found that I can keep a certain amount of opiates around and although temptation occasionally calls, the memories of withdrawl keep me well away and I have managed not to relapse and I beleive I will be able to live the rest of my life without doing so.

About 2-3 months after my last use, I had the worst toothache I have ever experienced. I first tried Ibuprofen and Paracetamol but after an hour and a half(ish) the pain was just as bad so I decided to take 60mg of Dihydrocodeine. This was by no means enough to get any sort of high from and was purely for pain relief purposes. The pain went away and all was good. But the next day I seemed to have been thrown back into withdrawl. It was nowhere near as bad as the first time but all symptoms were there and I had a very unpleasant couple of days waiting for it to fade.

Will this happen every time I take opiates in the future? At the moment there isn't a problem, unscheduled pain killers are more than enough for me but I'm thinking about a future occasion. What if I get hit by a car? Or get bad nerve damage etc... and need strong pain killers. Will I be able to take opiates? The cravings are really not something I'm worried about, it's more the withdrawl I'm concerned about. If in a few years say, I get say the Flu really bad, would I be able to take a couple of Co-Codamol or would I have a similar reaction to before? Was it just the timing of my use? Had I just not allowed my body enough time to fully recover or have I made some permanent changes? Will I ever be able to tollerate opiates in a purely medical situation?

I'm sorry if this has been asked before, I'm sure it must have been hundreds of times but I've tried serching and am not sure what serch terms to use so can't find anything other than help for people currently addicted.


Thank you for reading the long winded post and thanks to anyone that can shed any light on this for me.

 

[Violenza666]

Your body doesn't forget, neither does your mind. I am of the belief once and addict always an addict. You can be clean but you're still an addict. I am a coke addict, but I haven't used in years. I find ibuprofen to be the best OTC pain reliever on the market.

The cravings are natural for you because you're an addict. If you do get hurt and you need more than OTC meds it's gonna take will power. Maybe also you can be honest with the dr treating you and he/she can help you so that way you can get the relief you need as well as assistance for your cravings.

Now, I am not suggesting you trade one addiction for another. But I do find alot of people do find relief from opiate cravings with benzo therapy. If used properly they can be a great tool Yes they are very addictive but they can be a godsend to help take your mind off of it.

I have a friend who just went clean and right now he is using moderate doses of diazepam to help him with the cravings and smoking alot of weed. I don't really know what else to tell you but I know alot of people on this site have been through this and might have more information for you. I wish you the best of luck!! Keep us posted!

 

[haden]

I have had a very similar experience. A few years ago I was using over 250mg of morphine a day and I would occasionally (about once a week) throw an oc 80 on top of that to feel a good buzz. Due to some life changing circumstances I forced myself to quit, and did so cold turkey.

After about two months of sobriety, boredom got the best of me and ate half an oxy80, an amount that would get me very high when I FIRST began experimenting with opiates. It gave me a a slight body buzz and mild euphoria that lasted about 20 minutes, along with the urge to taker more. So I took the other half and felt about the same as I did after eating the first. The worst part was, the next day I woke up with chills and goosebumps, which is for me a sign I am soon going to feel like shit (w/d). I ended up feeling gradually worse throughout the day, and felt mild w/d symptoms for the next couple of days.

The next few times using were the same. I have just grown to accept that there is no such thing as free lunch, and that for every pleasure there is pain.

 

[Audio Terrorist]

Your body doesn't forget, neither does your mind. I am of the belief once and addict always an addict.

Well, that's exactly what I didn't want to hear. So you think that I would have a similar reaction to a strictly medical dose in say 20 years time? Opiates can be an amazingly useful gift in certain circumstances, I really hope I haven't fucked that up for myself

The cravings are natural for you because you're an addict. If you do get hurt and you need more than OTC meds it's gonna take will power. Maybe also you can be honest with the dr treating you and he/she can help you so that way you can get the relief you need as well as assistance for your cravings.

There are a couple of things here, the cravings are never more than just a little niggle in the back of my mind. I've had 3 boxes of Dihydrocodeine sitting around for about 4 months now and apart from the 60mg I took for the toothache, they've not been touched.

Plus, I have a little problem with talking to my Doctor about it. I'm 99.9% confident that I will NEVER EVER relapse, but I do have a son who I love very much. He is taken care of 100%, he's always physically clean and in freshly washed clothes. He goes to school every day, my parents help out LOADS if there is every anything I need help with. He hardly ever needs to be disciplined, as 99% of the time he plays alone or with other children and appears to be a very contented child (5 years old). People are always telling me what an amazing personality he has and how polite he is. I don't want to risk having to prove to the Social Services that I'm a fit parent (which I know for a FACT that I am). Even during the worst part of my addiction, the only person that ever had any idea about my problem was my best friend, and that was only because I really needed to talk to someone when quitting was on the cards. I never acted like the 'stereotypical junky', I didn't steal from friends and family, my personal hygene and appearance was always excellent etc... For everyone on the outside looking in, all seemed fine. Even my wife didn't know about my problem until I started to w/d and had to tell her why I was climbing up walls

I was thinking of maybe going to one of my local addiction clinics one day and seeing if I can get to have a little chat with one of their councellors. Hopefully they would be able to answer any questions I may have and because they deal with people in similar situations to me all the time, I would feel like I was being a little less judged by them.

Now, I am not suggesting you trade one addiction for another. But I do find alot of people do find relief from opiate cravings with benzo therapy. If used properly they can be a great tool Yes they are very addictive but they can be a godsend to help take your mind off of it.

I know this kind of therapy is a godsend for many people but seeing as I no longer use and havent for about 4 months now, I don't want to take anything that I don't need to. Benzos are excellent on REALLY bad days but I thought I was too clever to get addicted before, I'm not gonna get stung twice. My will power is pretty strong when I put my mind to something. Opiate addiction just crept up on me, I didn't even see it coming Now, I try to keep my eyes as open as possible.

I have a friend who just went clean and right now he is using moderate doses of diazepam to help him with the cravings and smoking alot of weed. I don't really know what else to tell you but I know alot of people on this site have been through this and might have more information for you. I wish you the best of luck!! Keep us posted!

A bit of Weed would probably be nice for the odd occasion. It's one of those chemicals in the same way as opiates that I can use and then carry on with my daily business. I don't personally know any weed dealers though so if I ever need any, I have to go through at least one other person. Although it's a pain in the ass, it stops me spending all my money on it and I can't have my usage spiral out of control without anyone noticing which is excellent.

Thanks for your reply and support, it means a lot to me.

I have had a very similar experience. A few years ago I was using over 250mg of morphine a day and I would occasionally (about once a week) throw an oc 80 on top of that to feel a good buzz. Due to some life changing circumstances I forced myself to quit, and did so cold turkey.

After about two months of sobriety, boredom got the best of me and ate half an oxy80, an amount that would get me very high when I FIRST began experimenting with opiates. It gave me a a slight body buzz and mild euphoria that lasted about 20 minutes, along with the urge to taker more. So I took the other half and felt about the same as I did after eating the first. The worst part was, the next day I woke up with chills and goosebumps, which is for me a sign I am soon going to feel like shit (w/d). I ended up feeling gradually worse throughout the day, and felt mild w/d symptoms for the next couple of days.

The next few times using were the same. I have just grown to accept that there is no such thing as free lunch, and that for every pleasure there is pain.

Sorry to hear that mate. I suppose I'm just going to have to really hope that I never need strong pain relief in my life. I'll have to stick to the stronger NSAIDs etc... if I'm ever in a position with a lot of physical pain.

Thank you both for your replies. The have been very helpful

 

[PillPoppingAnimal]

Your body doesn't forget, neither does your mind. I am of the belief once and addict always an addict. You can be clean but you're still an addict.

The cravings are natural for you because you're an addict.

Now, I am not suggesting you trade one addiction for another. But I do find alot of people do find relief from opiate cravings with benzo therapy. If used properly they can be a great tool Yes they are very addictive but they can be a godsend to help take your mind off of it.

100% true, your mind will not forget.

people who have been clean and then use again say that high is the best high ever, so i wouldnt go there buddy lol


you can take opiates again, just keep in mind of addiction

its not like when u first got addicted (like us all) and didnt even relize or couldnt admit the addiction and u just keep going making it worse and worse and worse

now you know, make the right choices

 

[K'd-OUT-in-AZ]

Once an addict, always an addict, that's goddamn right Violenza.

I remember my last relapse it was only with 25mg Oxycodone but the following day I felt like absolute shit, sort of like I was going through withdrawals. And my previous habit was like 240mg OxyContin w/ 0.5-1g Tar H. So my dose was nothing similar.