Ex(c)Use me.

[iLoveYouWithaKnife]

Thursday, standing on South St.
I wanted to pawn the diamond earrings
you worked so hard to buy me
So I could have beer money-
and drink you away for the last time.

When you found out my 'dad' had two strokes
the natural thing to do
was to call my sister and leave her a voicemail.
The sound of your voice calling me Jenny
filled my head with all these memories
that I didn't want to relive.

I tried so hard not to dial your number.
But them temptation was too strong.
I have been fighting with myself
for the last five months,
so I wouldn't reply to your emails.

Two hours after the phone conversation-
I found myself sitting in your apartment.
The black and white Mercedes Benz
picture that I had taken-
still hanging.

I went to your house with a clean slate.
I had forgotten and apparently forgiven
all the terrible things we blamed upon
each other as it reached towards the end.
And you sitting next to me felt natural again.

I started to cry.
Maybe it was 80 oz. blurring my feelings-
or because maybe I knew you would
take my vulernability for granted
and try to fuck me.

Whatever the reason-
I didn't care.
Because at that moment
it just felt right
to be with you.

I looked into your eyes
as you were about to move
and fought with myself again
not to mention the words
I love you.

It felt nice to hear you tell me.
Truth is, I don't know why
really, I took you up on your offer,
to come over and drink a 40.

And in the morning,
part of me wanted to regret it.
But part of me wanted to
curl up to you longer
and hold onto something,
I never thought could be mine forever.

After all these months-
I thought I had just moved on.
But after a few hours-
I realized you were the one
that knew me the most,
that I could go to
who would understand completely.

 

[dope_sick_girl]

honey i am going through a similar instance right now....if you ever need to talk to someone get in touch with me....