Evey's journey (day1 I guess)

Hiya Everyone,

This is nothing informative, just my journal kind of thing where I jot my thoughts n feelings down.

Well today has been am ok today. I am looking fwd to seeing doctor 11 December to reduce on my suboxone. It will be lovely Christmas being on 6 mg as opposed to 8 mg.
lately I've started not feeling well n i think, having read so much on an anti-sub forum, that the suboxone is doing this to me.

I'm so angry at myself. I could have just tapered off my DOC but found that impossible n so decided on the suboxone route. If I had not gone onto suboxone my life could have been so different. I've been on 6 months n I feel like an old woman.
I wake up feeling stiff all over, especially back n hips.

I should never have listened to a certain person who kept trying to push me to get on sub. Said she'd been on it for 4 years n that she never had withdrawals. Mind you this person said so many things n I'm learning that I never really knew her at all. I have blocked her E-mail n already the anxiety is lifting just not having any correspondence with her anymore. She has turned into someone i dont know. I mean she calls her best friend of 30 years a psychotic bitch n alwsys claimed to be that she didn't like anyone saying those types of things. She's actually at a support place where I should be as I need supporting tapering off suboxone n she tapered off it years ago. I honestly thought she was a true until i overheard her really slagging me off when she thiught I had no access - apparent I guilt trip her into being friends with me, apparently I beg. Then she contacts me the other day saying how those people were horrible n she only pretended not to be a friend to get me away from that place n none of us will go there again. Then I find out that she has been going there n b*****g about me yet she lies. Anyway enough on that, I am so relieved that she's out of my life n now I can find friends who loyal to be n don't go talking about me with people who slagged off my disability n are genially just mean.

I'm going to leave this here. I'm here not well also feel sleepy, distance n cold also back, hips n tummy hurt

Please take care,
Evey xxx

 

Welcome to Blogs, Evey!

I know it's hard, but try not to think of things that you could've done differently. Life can be a rocky road full of twists and sometimes unexpected turns, but everything that happens will lead you to the you you're meant to become.

 

Hiya Spork. Thanks for posting n for advice. Hope that you are doing well.
All the best,
Evey xxx

 

so youre having trouble w/ subox use? i am on 16/mg a day now and feeling great/confident about getting off the drug. i was a heavy heroin user and the subox is saving my life. they told me 16mg is the typical dosage for someone who used like me. i have used before when using, but at a very low dosage. i would use just to push off my using because I was broke at the time or maybe had work or something to do before I pick up. now I have no feelings, no intention, no nothing when it comes to the drug itself. very weird. is it my high dose? i truly do not feel a single thing when it comes to using. my last use was an OD and it changed my life. hoping to stay this confident and assuring.. even as I taper my dosage which should begin soon. some days I will only even take 1 subox and get though.

 

Hiya Boston,

I'm glad it's helping you n that you feel more confident now. I'm sorry to hear of your OD but looks like it was one negative that turned into a positive. Suboxone has helped me in the fact that I am no longer in my addiction I think once I reduce to 6 mg things will be a lot better, I hope so at least.

Takecare,
Evey xxx