Everything is going downhill...

[Mellovv]

'll make it short: I've been using RCs for years, both sporadically and monthly. Lately the use of RCs has increased, specifically for two months.

Why? There was a girl I had been in a relationship with for 4 years, even though this relationship had clearly ended.

At this point, G, girl 2, enters the scene, I realize shortly after that this person is out of her mind and suffers from various mental disorders, including bipolarism (not type 1 as me). She manipulated me a lot until I got discarded for someone else. I got betrayed and then got betrayed by the fist girl who believed our relationship wasn't going to end.

I got systematically isolated from everyone while I was on drugs, and probably most of the time I couldn't understand what was happening because of NEP, 6-APB, 3-FA and so on.

I spent the month of December duing RCs like everyday, because I can't stand how I ended up like this. I'm afraid of loneliness, I have no friends, no one to talk, Christmas day was spent alone doing drugs.

Now that my supply has ended, I want to die, I feel depressed, I'm not interested in anything anymore and I just want these last December day pass so I can re-supply my rcs and forgot what happened between October and the first week of December

I don't know what to do, I feel stupid to put drugs before everything else but at least I have something ready to make me feel better, here, next to me.

I'm an alone coachroaches nest. I prefer drugs over people. They're better for my autism spectrum, ADHD, and bipolarism

Everything is going downhill, wish it could be faster

 

[reverse cosmosis]

Rough situation especially at this time of year. Sounds like your use spiralled as a coping mechanism and now that your stash is depleted you're getting hit with all the feelings you were blocking out, multiplied by the newly forced sobriety.

Things will work themselves out eventually but it might take some time. Shit I was in a very similar situation some years ago and took solace in drugs afterwards but eventually you gotta face the feelings. They're only temporary just like everything else in this life.

I know it's hard right now but don't give up. Give yourself some time if you need but try to throw yourself into something, anything, doesn't matter what or how pointless it feels. Time heals all wounds.

If you're ever just really low and need someone to vent to, feel free to DM me. I know what it's like to feel like there's just no point. I can't make it go away but I can at least distract you temporarily or provide a sounding board.

Piss and fluff x

 

[Mellovv]

Rough situation especially at this time of year. Sounds like your use spiralled as a coping mechanism and now that your stash is depleted you're getting hit with all the feelings you were blocking out, multiplied by the newly forced sobriety.

Things will work themselves out eventually but it might take some time. Shit I was in a very similar situation some years ago and took solace in drugs afterwards but eventually you gotta face the feelings. They're only temporary just like everything else in this life.

I know it's hard right now but don't give up. Give yourself some time if you need but try to throw yourself into something, anything, doesn't matter what or how pointless it feels. Time heals all wounds.

If you're ever just really low and need someone to vent to, feel free to DM me. I know what it's like to feel like there's just no point. I can't make it go away but I can at least distract you temporarily or provide a sounding board.

Piss and fluff x

It's hard to move forward until I have money to buy rcs again.

The days never end, I'm spending them abusing benzodiazepines and antipsychotic drugs prescribed by doc

I'm so desperate I crawl around the room looking for 6apb residues so I can take them orally in a paper, same goes for NEP, like a rat with a torch in his mouth...and all of this only to find some piece of plaster

I wish I could distract myself from this mess but my neurotransmitter levels don't allow me to, I'm dysphoric, i'm alternating between tears and akathisia, rampant dysphoria

I thought over and over again about ending it but then I said myself it's all about a little time left befor I can dive again in this self-destructive cycle

These are dull and empty days...only rumination about people who betrayed and abandoned me like a child thrown into a dumpster

Edit: I don't even have the focus to take a fucking shower

 

[WellTram]

What Is NEP ?

 

[TheGyattDamnRizzler]

'll make it short: I've been using RCs for years, both sporadically and monthly. Lately the use of RCs has increased, specifically for two months.

Why? There was a girl I had been in a relationship with for 4 years, even though this relationship had clearly ended.

At this point, G, girl 2, enters the scene, I realize shortly after that this person is out of her mind and suffers from various mental disorders, including bipolarism (not type 1 as me). She manipulated me a lot until I got discarded for someone else. I got betrayed and then got betrayed by the fist girl who believed our relationship wasn't going to end.

I got systematically isolated from everyone while I was on drugs, and probably most of the time I couldn't understand what was happening because of NEP, 6-APB, 3-FA and so on.

I spent the month of December duing RCs like everyday, because I can't stand how I ended up like this. I'm afraid of loneliness, I have no friends, no one to talk, Christmas day was spent alone doing drugs.

Now that my supply has ended, I want to die, I feel depressed, I'm not interested in anything anymore and I just want these last December day pass so I can re-supply my rcs and forgot what happened between October and the first week of December

I don't know what to do, I feel stupid to put drugs before everything else but at least I have something ready to make me feel better, here, next to me.

I'm an alone coachroaches nest. I prefer drugs over people. They're better for my autism spectrum, ADHD, and bipolarism

Everything is going downhill, wish it could be faster

I really feel you on this man. I'm Hella isolated and chose drugs over people while living in squalor (I just kinda like it). I've been doing drugs alone as well. I have broken out of it many times and like been apart of communities and almost got married and stuff. I had 4 years of sobriety.

I'm in active addiction currently but I would say learn to love and have a relationship with yourself and invest in yourself. Everyone around you is temporary, have a spiritual connection with yourself so you can provide something other than misery to other people.

Happy New Year

 

[washingtonbound]

'll make it short: I've been using RCs for years, both sporadically and monthly. Lately the use of RCs has increased, specifically for two months.

Why? There was a girl I had been in a relationship with for 4 years, even though this relationship had clearly ended.

At this point, G, girl 2, enters the scene, I realize shortly after that this person is out of her mind and suffers from various mental disorders, including bipolarism (not type 1 as me). She manipulated me a lot until I got discarded for someone else. I got betrayed and then got betrayed by the fist girl who believed our relationship wasn't going to end.

I got systematically isolated from everyone while I was on drugs, and probably most of the time I couldn't understand what was happening because of NEP, 6-APB, 3-FA and so on.

I spent the month of December duing RCs like everyday, because I can't stand how I ended up like this. I'm afraid of loneliness, I have no friends, no one to talk, Christmas day was spent alone doing drugs.

Now that my supply has ended, I want to die, I feel depressed, I'm not interested in anything anymore and I just want these last December day pass so I can re-supply my rcs and forgot what happened between October and the first week of December

I don't know what to do, I feel stupid to put drugs before everything else but at least I have something ready to make me feel better, here, next to me.

I'm an alone coachroaches nest. I prefer drugs over people. They're better for my autism spectrum, ADHD, and bipolarism

Everything is going downhill, wish it could be faster

Wanted to chime in on this. I am also bipolar and on the spectrum. No friends either and it is getting very old. I have done various drugs over the years and had a heavy psychedelic phase, ordering all kinds of shit online with no regard how it affected others, especially my family. So I know what you mean about this.

All I can say is that drugs have been pretty detrimental for me in just about all ways. I don't feel particularly enlightened from the psychedelic use and feel like it has made my issues much worse. Currently, I'm barely functional with constant anhedonia. Any type of relief you get from drugs is only short term and it tends to bring out psychological problems with a vengeance.