I've been on methadone but it seems like the higher my dose goes, the faster I go into withdrawal. I figured my body cannot tolerate the drop in medication levels over the course of the day, in spite of the 24-hour half life on average (which would be an even steeper drop if I'm a fast metabolizer). The weird thing is my dose has NEVER held me for a full 24-hours, I never reached a stabilizing dose. I've tried to bear the w/ds, but have bridged those gaps til my next morning dose at the clinic with methadone itself, and then eventually what lead me there in the first place: heroin. The clinic only builds doses up 5 mgs every 3 days so it was agony trying to reach that mythical stabilizing dose when I seemed to be feeling worse withdrawals the higher the methadone went. Something odd happened in the last few weeks -- thought I had a flu for the last 2 weeks, then a few days ago I finally went into total withdrawal, and when I tried to get out of methadone withdrawal with heroin, it sent me into a WORSE withdrawal! I thought I just needed more, so I did more -- leading to an even WORSE withdrawal. The clinic did a urine test the next day because I thought maybe someone cut Suboxone into the heroin, but I only came up positive for morphine and not the buprenorphine! Every single thing I have tried has made my withdrawal even worse, whether it be heroin, oxycodone, or methadone itself -- the more I take, the worse the withdrawal! I'm so confused and scared, no one knows what this is! My methadone is at 45 mgs right now and I'm sicker at this level than I was at 25 mgs! What the hell happened?! NOT looking forward to a forced 6-week withdrawal from methadone with no prospect of any kind of fall back if I can't handle it!
What is this? I can't find another case like mine. Heroin never failed if I went into withdrawal from a missed dose, so what is happening? Why is my body rejecting EVERY OPIATE???
