every cloud

[Squirt]

they say
every cloud has a silver lining
i know that one day things will be okay
but right now i cant help but feel slighted by fate and life
for the past two months something inside me has been dying
i apologized to someone today
i apologized to her for last year
anything to make me feel better
i refuse to cut my sorrows
and i refuse to drown them in budweiser or jagermeister
and i refuse to smoke them away
(but god wouldnt it be nice)
and i try to ignore them on a daily basis
so i can at least accomplish the things that need to get done
but then theres night
at night
every cloud has a jet black lining
when i come home at 1000 i cant concentrate on anything
not homework
not work
not partying
not sleeping
i cant go to bed earlier than 300 in the morning
because my mind wont slow down
it wont give me a fucking break
every cloud rains jet black drops
that are rising up to my ears
i cant feel anything anymore because theyve frozen my nerves
im young
im supposed to be sitting on top of my world
not sitting in the ninth circle of its hell and
drowning in the pool of despair
im too young for the clouds to despise me
yet they are relentless in their hatred
and storm it upon me
day
after
day
after
night
after
night
.
someone please hand me an umbrella
[ 24 October 2002: Message edited by: Squirt ]

 

[cherub]

Squirt,,, I have always been fond of your writting this seems to a one of the most painful ones,, I can relate to it, been there, circle and changes of our life go around,,, silver lining might be there, just gona take some time to see
hugs to you girl,,, sounds like you need it

 

[Angelight]

every cloud rains jet black drops
that are rising up to my ears
i cant feel anything anymore because theyve frozen my nerves
im young
im supposed to be sitting on top of my world
not sitting in the ninth circle of its hell and
drowning in the pool of despair
you'll never know how much this hit me straight in my heart.
[ 25 October 2002: Message edited by: Angelight ]

 

[E-girl]

i know what this is like...
night is not my friend sometimes either. its something about the quiet... the silence... the way you just lie in bed and tear yourself apart. its so easy, and sometimes the worst fights i have are within myself. what can you do. and its so easy to just break down and cry when you're all alone in your bed, thinking about everything you have no time to get done tomorrow and how bad things went today...
yeah, i've been there. you've been around here a long time squirt.... do you remember that little phrase i used to always post at the end of my replies? i think it deserves to be repeated here...
"Things can only get better."
and squirt.... every cloud still DOES have a silver lining... you just have to look at it in the right light.

 

[Sara Tonin]

Squirt, I can relate to this line...

i cant go to bed earlier than 300 in the morning
because my mind wont slow down
it wont give me a fucking break
I dealt with this a few years ago and now I sleep like a baby. You'll get past this, you just have to forgive yourself. It was tough to read this because it was so expressive and reminded me of those days...but that's what makes it so good.

 

[Queen Beat]

Life is at it's loudest in the silence of the night.
I loved this.

 

[lilygirl]

that was beautiful, and i've been there...
there's nothing i can say to make your situation any better, but i know that writing is a great way to let everything out, don't let sadness suck you in.
-lil

 

[Squirt]

feeling it again........