Ever wondered

[QuE-dAwEiRd1]

Ever wondered or felt ashamed walking in a mall or busy public place that people will off the bat know that your an addict.I'm not one of those people that give a crap but I noticed a girl today trying to belnd with the walls of the mall like she wished she was invisible.could see her self-esteem was low and she did not want to be around people.not putting much thought into it I went on with my shopping.Later bumped into her at the pharmacy she stood infront of me bought codeine pills and left..heard the pharmacy assistant say to the lady that girl comes by every day like clockwork she should get help.my heart broke for that girl,she looked guilty,ashamed and tired.I wanted to reach out and hug her,tell her there's help,there's hope and she's not alone..so I followed her apologised for being forward gave her my whatsapp number..strangely on my way home she added me and we just hit it off.I'm not a busy body I don't pry in ppls business.but something bout this girl just pulled me towards her.she is an codeine addict just like me,she reached a point where the medication took over her life and she just needed a friend,hope a ear of understanding.people are so quick to judge and be all high and mighty but truth is being an addict is not anything to be ashamed of..accepting it and declaring yourself a loser is.we all struggle,have shame and doubt,and just like this girl wants to be understood not judged.

 

[Moreaux]

Your story warmed my heart. Addiction is a very lonely place and I'm certain your kindness means a lot to her. I agree, society needs to stop hiding addicts, but it is getting better.

 

[nygiants1313]

That cunt behind the counter should get help

 

[Pilll_head]

I used to feel guilty about my usage but not much anymore. I have a respectable job and work with tons of very smart people. After getting to know them in social settings outside of work (usually involving alcohol), they'll loosen up and I find out that plenty of them are into oxy and benzos and steroids and getting plastered drunk and cheating on their spouses and worse shit than that. So when I walk down the hallway I hold my head up, I know they're all just as fucked up as I am.

 

[deos68]

yeah shits crazy at times
i in no way shape or form look like an alcoholic(i'm a functioning alcoholic) i still work and take care of my responsibilitys but at night when the sun goes down
i drink my ass off just to get some rest.....
like never ending bs for me
i have anxiety issues, but still dont know if i have legit anxiety or its alcohol WD/ or induced anxiety
i know what i need to do is get into detox again but its easier said than done lol

sure does feel lonely at times well...its like having a dirty little secret
i dont socialize with the same people everyday, in hopes no one catches on to my daily drinking

that said its still on going chapter in my life....maybe one day ill finish the last sentence and start a new chapter

 

[ATLL765]

Your story warmed my heart. Addiction is a very lonely place and I'm certain your kindness means a lot to her. I agree, society needs to stop hiding addicts, but it is getting better.

Yeah, it's so rare you hear about something like this. I know that when I'm depressed and feeling alone, to have someone come out of the blue to try to be nice to me would really make my day and make me feel good about myself. I'm sure this girl feels similarly, so be happy knowing you did a really nice thing for someone.

 

[QuE-dAwEiRd1]

Thank you all for your kind replies.it is really sad that there are people with real problems who's ashamed scared and feels helpless.people can at times b cruel and very selfish.and yes most of the time their shit is more f.up than yours.everyone deserves to b who they are,to become who they were born to be.Sometimes life gives us repeated struggles and failures,to teach us to appreciate and value our blessings.we all need a friend,one who truly beyond all bullshit will b there and form whom you'd cross a desert.its hard to find a friend like that.but let it sink in,you are not alone,you are not a fuck up,you are not a mistake..you may make mistakes,but who doesn't..Learning and growing,making progress in your life is what you should aim for and to hell with anyone that frowns or looks down on you..

 

[ATLL765]

Thank you all for your kind replies.it is really sad that there are people with real problems who's ashamed scared and feels helpless.people can at times b cruel and very selfish.and yes most of the time their shit is more f.up than yours.everyone deserves to b who they are,to become who they were born to be.Sometimes life gives us repeated struggles and failures,to teach us to appreciate and value our blessings.we all need a friend,one who truly beyond all bullshit will b there and form whom you'd cross a desert.its hard to find a friend like that.but let it sink in,you are not alone,you are not a fuck up,you are not a mistake..you may make mistakes,but who doesn't..Learning and growing,making progress in your life is what you should aim for and to hell with anyone that frowns or looks down on you..

That's well said. Great to see stuff like this coming from a new member of the BL community. You really said it well in saying that everyone deserves to be happy and deserves to have a companion, be it a best friend, a significant other, or both, that truly understands who you are and loves you for it. That person will not only respect you for who you truly are, but will also elevate you to being a better person.

We all deserve to have someone like that in our lives, to feel the kind of love that only someone who would stick by you through thick and thin could have for you. Like you said, it's very hard to find someone like that, as there are not many people like that out there and even fewer that would see you in particular in that light. If you do find someone like that out there, I implore you to hold on to that person as tightly as you can and don't ever let them go.

 

[QuE-dAwEiRd1]

True indeed.its essential to accept yourself,grow,trust your own opinions and always challenge yourself,then you can freely open up to find that few people in life you can truly trust and depend on..I will forever be an addict,trying not to relapse at times I think I will forever relapse especially when weak and have no support or someone to talk to.I learned to be my own strength and own helpline..I'm happy I joined BL just for the peace of mind that there are people who understand,also to just say a kind word when needed.you all are wonderful,kind and special people.

 

[ATLL765]

True indeed.its essential to accept yourself,grow,trust your own opinions and always challenge yourself,then you can freely open up to find that few people in life you can truly trust and depend on..I will forever be an addict,trying not to relapse at times I think I will forever relapse especially when weak and have no support or someone to talk to.I learned to be my own strength and own helpline..I'm happy I joined BL just for the peace of mind that there are people who understand,also to just say a kind word when needed.you all are wonderful,kind and special people.

I'm not sure why you believe that you will always relapse. You can become strong enough to handle whatever comes your way and not turn to drugs to cope. Until you gain that strength, find some people that you can lean on when you're in need. If there's anyone in your life who isn't willing to help you when you need it, then they're not worth your time and love. If you're having trouble finding people worth your time out there, this community can be a great help. It's been the friend I've needed for many years when I've not had that friend out there in real life. If you need someone to talk to 1 on 1, feel free to PM me. I'm here if you need anything.

 

[Tanner Blaze]

What a great story. When I first moved to Cali I sat next to a girl at a bus stop that kept grinding her teeth. We had a conversation and she straight up told me she tweaks everyday and it was no longer an option to just walk away from it. Sometimes I wonder if she ever made it out of that addiction alive because she was so young.

 

[deos68]

Thing is..the person needs to WANT to stop
You can't force anyone to do anything if they're not ready.

IMO Me personally, don't feel sympathy for anyone who chooses to live a certain way..yeah it's sad but in all honesty what can you do?
I don't ever expect anyone to feel sympathy for me..why? Because I continue to choose to live this way.


One thing I can say if someone does reach out for help..do make an effort to help
Who knows maybe you will someone's savior one day

 

[ATLL765]

Thing is..the person needs to WANT to stop
You can't force anyone to do anything if they're not ready.

IMO Me personally, don't feel sympathy for anyone who chooses to live a certain way..yeah it's sad but in all honesty what can you do?
I don't ever expect anyone to feel sympathy for me..why? Because I continue to choose to live this way.


One thing I can say if someone does reach out for help..do make an effort to help
Who knows maybe you will someone's savior one day

There's a difference between being sympathetic towards someone's suffering and condoning their lifestyle though. One may have made the choice to use drugs, but that doesn't mean you can't be sympathetic about the pain it may cause them.

Would you not have sympathy for someone dying in an car crash just because the risk of death is inherent in that activity?

 

[Moreaux]

yeah shits crazy at times
i in no way shape or form look like an alcoholic(i'm a functioning alcoholic) i still work and take care of my responsibilitys but at night when the sun goes down
i drink my ass off just to get some rest.....
like never ending bs for me
i have anxiety issues, but still dont know if i have legit anxiety or its alcohol WD/ or induced anxiety
i know what i need to do is get into detox again but its easier said than done lol

sure does feel lonely at times well...its like having a dirty little secret
i dont socialize with the same people everyday, in hopes no one catches on to my daily drinking

that said its still on going chapter in my life....maybe one day ill finish the last sentence and start a new chapter

I used to be the same way but it was too difficult a lifestyle to maintain. I drank for 17 years and tried so many times to get sober and finally broke. I ended up quitting my job and going to rehab. I relapsed after a while and quit another job to go back to rehab. I was a software developer and found the stress just drove me to drink, so now I'm trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up lol. It was so hard to quit (been sober for two years now) but I feel so much better now that I did. I found the stress and anxiety got significantly better, and continues to improve.

I wish you the best of luck - alcoholism is insidious. It's so he's to stop the cycle, and so hard to maintain the cycle. Either way is tough. I am sorry you are in that situation. If you ever do decide to quit consider getting the Vivitrol shot once you quit. It reduces both cravings and anxiety. I was on it for 8 months after rehab and didn't have any cravings, and still don't have cravings. It really made the recovery process so much easier.

Thing is..the person needs to WANT to stop
You can't force anyone to do anything if they're not ready.

IMO Me personally, don't feel sympathy for anyone who chooses to live a certain way..yeah it's sad but in all honesty what can you do?
I don't ever expect anyone to feel sympathy for me..why? Because I continue to choose to live this way.


One thing I can say if someone does reach out for help..do make an effort to help
Who knows maybe you will someone's savior one day

I have a feeling your perspective will change if you try leading a sober life and find that you struggle immensely for sobriety. Yes, people make the initial choice to use drugs but nobody chooses addiction, and once addiction sets in the power of choice is greatly reduced. Statistically speaking, only 10% of addicts are able to recover from addiction...the number is not low because people don't want sobriety, it's low because getting and staying sober is one of the hardest things to accomplish in life once you've crossed that line.

I have sympathy for addicts because I understand the struggle. I also have sympathy for obese people and people living affected by cancer even though I've never had to endure either. The human condition is very delicate, and many times people find themselves I circumstances not of their choice, even if their lifestyle choices precipitated the resulting condition...that doesn't mean they are not deserving of sympathy. They still feel pain and still struggle.

Continue to drink the way you do and you will find that the amount of power you have over drinking will continue to decrease as alcoholism is a progressive disease. I hope you eventually learn to have sympathy as you will need it for yourself as well when you decide to go for sobriety.

Aside from that, usually there is an underlying mental health issue that drives unhealthy lifestyle choices, and more often than not its left untreated or treatments fail. Nobody chooses to have mental health issues. Just like obesity, addiction is often a symptom of a larger underlying condition.

 

[QuE-dAwEiRd1]

We had coffee today talked she is smart,funny and has a beautiful mind.I made a new friend,I'll do my best to be a good one.She wants to quit but isn't quite in the full mindset,I don't want to be overbearing,but I gave advice,listened and didn't judge.I'll try to help where I can but the big step is all up the her.when she is ready I'll be there.the world is filled with different people,some needs a push while others want to figure things out on their own.a shoulder and a kind understand trustworthy person goes a long way,which in this life is scares coz let's face truth most of us have our own mountain to climb,but who's going to say no to having a few companions to climb a mountain with

 

[deos68]

I used to be the same way but it was too difficult a lifestyle to maintain. I drank for 17 years and tried so many times to get sober and finally broke. I ended up quitting my job and going to rehab. I relapsed after a while and quit another job to go back to rehab. I was a software developer and found the stress just drove me to drink, so now I'm trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up lol. It was so hard to quit (been sober for two years now) but I feel so much better now that I did. I found the stress and anxiety got significantly better, and continues to improve.

I wish you the best of luck - alcoholism is insidious. It's so he's to stop the cycle, and so hard to maintain the cycle. Either way is tough. I am sorry you are in that situation. If you ever do decide to quit consider getting the Vivitrol shot once you quit. It reduces both cravings and anxiety. I was on it for 8 months after rehab and didn't have any cravings, and still don't have cravings. It really made the recovery process so much easier.



I have a feeling your perspective will change if you try leading a sober life and find that you struggle immensely for sobriety. Yes, people make the initial choice to use drugs but nobody chooses addiction, and once addiction sets in the power of choice is greatly reduced. Statistically speaking, only 10% of addicts are able to recover from addiction...the number is not low because people don't want sobriety, it's low because getting and staying sober is one of the hardest things to accomplish in life once you've crossed that line.

I have sympathy for addicts because I understand the struggle. I also have sympathy for obese people and people living affected by cancer even though I've never had to endure either. The human condition is very delicate, and many times people find themselves I circumstances not of their choice, even if their lifestyle choices precipitated the resulting condition...that doesn't mean they are not deserving of sympathy. They still feel pain and still struggle.

Continue to drink the way you do and you will find that the amount of power you have over drinking will continue to decrease as alcoholism is a progressive disease. I hope you eventually learn to have sympathy as you will need it for yourself as well when you decide to go for sobriety.

Aside from that, usually there is an underlying mental health issue that drives unhealthy lifestyle choices, and more often than not its left untreated or treatments fail. Nobody chooses to have mental health issues. Just like obesity, addiction is often a symptom of a larger underlying condition.

i get what you guys are saying and i know i kinda sound like a dick
but my aunt is an addict and the reason why she continued her addiction was because i felt sorry for her when she would start to WD
and of course i didnt wanna see her that way...so what did i do? i gave in to all the bullshit lies she would feed me...later to find out every time she would call
was never to really to see how i was doing, but because she wanted money

i offered to take her to detox and rehab and she denied until she finally said...she wasnt gonna change nor did she want to change
so again theres nothing you can do

now if someone really had the motivation to become sober and asked for my help...i would no doubt help in anyway i can

when i say i have no sympathy for certain people ...i mean the people that wanna play games and lie about shit just to get a fix
that dont wanna get sober and have a better life

 

[Ziiirp]

Awesome story. So whatsapp is good for something after all.

 

[QuE-dAwEiRd1]

Ya some people just Don't want to quit.the don't feel strong enough to even try and cannot see the damage the substance is doing.its hard for their loved ones because everyone wants to help.when craving and one doesn't have money we will go through great lenths to obtain it,I put myself in great debt almost lost my job and lied like it was nothing,I didn't care,didn't have any shame at all.when I got to a point that I almost nearly lost everything including myself I knew it was crunch time.didn't have WD but mentally I kept telling myself without the pills I won't function I'm half a person.but I shut that fucking voice up by focusing on how much I already lost and what more I will if I don't stay strong.My husband enjoys working on prject cars,so I helped learned his interest and kept busy,played with my boys,my huskies and read a lot.keeping my mind active and busy helped.its not as easy I get with hard drugs and ppl need assistance and guidance.like I believe there's no thing as a dumb question,only dumb thing is staying and remaining silent.people also need to see the world outside their little addiction box,see there really is more to life.I'm a stubborn person so listening is hard for me,but I work on myself and try to acknowledge that I'm not aLways right.I love learning and should accept that there's a shitload that I don't know.in most cases loving,tender and gentle approach works,but there also come a time to get hard,be firm and take off kit gloves.its all about diff situations,diff ppl and what's right and wrong.because no matter how the world changes,there will always be a right way to do something and a wrong way.fighting the power,being a Rebel is great but what's the cause behind your rebeelion if its just to fuck yourself up isn't that kinda pointless?