Ever wish for something only to find out you don't like the way it was answered?

[edgewise1]

I've had a problem with opiates/opioids for the past 20 years. Cough syrup containing hydrocodone, pain pills- vicoden/percocets, and for 5 years- until 2012 I used tramadol daily...a LOT of tramadol daily. I often wished I had a pain issue that required opiates, a chronic pain situation that would allow me to have access to plenty of strong opiates. Very silly to ever wish for something to happen to me that would require such a scenario. Fast forward to July of 2012 and I have just gotten home from helping my cousin. My right thigh begins to hurt a little and in 30 minutes time I am hurting so bad I go to the hospital. It ends up that shortly after arriving at the hospital I experience a Spinal Cord Infarction or a SC Stroke. I spend 6 weeks in the hospital and rehab. This condition causes one to become a paraplegic or quadaplegic(sp ) if a complete stroke has occurred but an incomplete stroke, my case, leaves you with a LOT pain. My lower back and both legs are in constant pain. I do not have the bladder control I had, thank goodness I can still control my bowels, which has ended up with me missing myself and unable to stop. I have worked myself out of a wheelchair to a walker, and back into the drivers seat of my vehicle. I am permanently disabled and drawing SSDI along with long term disability from the state, I taught school for 30 years. Next month I begin drawing retirement instead of the long term disability. I will still be able to draw my SSDI though so thankfully money will not be a problem, I hope. As for the wish; I take 60mgs er morphine, 40mgs oxycodone, 450mgs lyrica, 300mgs tramadol, and 40 mgs baclofen, all daily.

So it seems my wish was answered, opiates and opioids every day..every month..every year for the rest of my life. I would give up every one of them to just be able to run across my yard.

So be careful for what you wish. It may come true, in the most unexpected ways!!!

 

[T. Calderone]

Sounds like a hellish situation, I'm sorry this happened to you. It's good that you gained some mobility back.

 

[edgewise1]

thank you T. Calderone, i do appreciate it. actually sitting here and was just thinking how much i miss walking, even dream about it, actually in my dreams i am walking. i am appreciative of the fact i can walk even if it takes a walker and more time to get from a to b.

it is all ironic to me how i wished for something and then had this happen. almost comical you might say. just venting a little i guess. i am glad for a place like bluelight where i can come spill my guts and no one judges.

 

[T. Calderone]

It must be frustrating, at one point in your life thinking those drugs would be so great. And now, just Cruel how life can be sometimes.

 

[Maya]

^welcome edgewise, yes bluelight is an awesome place. I spent so much time on bluelight and it's because of the same reason as you have said, I have never found another forum where I have received so much help from people specifically tds crew.

I believe I have had so many close calls as well due to addiction but I am happy that my body is still intact and kickin, that's why I am doing what I can to be healthy and compensate for the abuse I have given it for so many years. Thank you for your thread as it has given me more courage to stay as strong as I can be to not succumb into addiction all over again.

 

[Sosick]

Hey edgewise ,
Wow sounds like you have had a rough time. You are strong to go from wheelchair to walker etc. I understand how difficult that is as I was in the same position a few years back. Good for you. It is a great reminder to b careful what u ask for, the day before my accident I made a joke saying what do I have to do to get a day off work and sure shit I haven't been able to work since.