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Ever thought about giving up rolling?

rollin420girl said:
I'm giving it up, I've decided. This is the fourth day of feeling like this...I'm getting really worried that I won't go back to normal ever. And it kills me that I'm giving it up because I have so much fun doing it. And I love being able to have that confidence and that optimism...normally I'm awkward in a one on one situation with a friend...but while rolling, I'm not. I could talk for hours about anything. I'm not afraid to say what I feel, or voice my opinion. For once I'm happy, and I'm not scared...

The one good thing that will come from me giving it up is that my friend, who also faces depression, will give it up too. He and I both roll for the wrong reaons, I think. It's not to be dancey, to see lights, to feel oh nice fabrics and stuff feel. It's just to be able to feel happy. I'm glad that this is a wake up call for me, and will be for him. I'm just sad I'll never be able to feel like that again.
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I think it's great that you can express who you truly are while rollin... but, this is not right. You need to be able to be yourself when not on drugs.

I think maybe that it is good for me to grow up, in Utah, around good mormon kids, cuz it forced me to be myself without the use of drugs. I don't need them to be myself. I use them to make experiences better, but they don't need to be there to have a great conversation.

Do whatever you can to just be yourself always.. it's hard but you can do it.
 
im in the same situation as you rollin420girl,
i rolled two nights in a row last weekend and i still feel
like im on a comedown. just very uninterested in everything, which is making me very anxious.
i cant tell if ive just exacerbated things by worrying about if ill ever get back to normal.
either way im never rolling again.
ive only rolled 10 times previously, with no more than 2 pills each time.

hope youre feeling better anyway
 
rollin420girl, you CAN feel that happy again, IF you stop taking pills for a really long time and concentrate on what you can do for yourself WITHOUT drugs. The amount of euphoria you can get out of, say, a regular yoga practice is a great example. Just concentrate on doing things that get your body and your mind into better shape. The happiness will follow.
 
I thought I was done with mdma a while back when I lost the magic then had a terrible comedown. A couple years later my friend gets the best molly to ever hit this town and now here I am. The comedown used to scare me off, until I learned how enjoyable it is to be drunk on mdma :D. Now I just drink on the comedown, and life's good. Drinking on the comedown and spacing out rolls makes it so I'm never feelin blue from molly. I don't know if I'll ever be done with it, depends on who my friends are down the road I suppose, comedowns don't scare me off, experiences do.
 
I've thought about giving up rolling for approximately 1 hour total....For 30 minutes the morning after a couple really hard rolls, when a warm shower made me so lightheaded I had to sit down to keep from passing out/throwing up. Then I would crawl into a bathrobe, drink a gallon of orange juice, and sleep for half the day, thinking and dreaming of rolling again. Normally, the day after is nothing but afterglow for me so long as I don't overdo it.

I have some mood swings and cry easily the week after rolling, but definitely don't feel depressed. It really sounds like you should limit your rolling to, well, never, or rarely. If you really want to do it again, try what's been suggested, and research harm reduction supplements. Antioxidants, nootropics, choline and tryptophan-rich foods can really help.
 
Okay...this is a problem. It's going to be two weeks since my last roll tomorrow. And I'm STILL majorly depressed. The last times I've rolled, the depression only lasted two days...three tops. But this....I don't know what to do. :( I just want to roll again. I want to be that happy. But that's the wrong reason to be doing it...I don't want to be like that. I don't want to be using drugs to feel better...it's just not right. I don't know what to do I don't have the money to get professional help...plus my parents won't let me....and I don't really want to be seeing a shrink anyway. Any suggestions? :( I'm not saying I'm going to do anything bad or anything. I just feel like I'm in a slump. How do I get out of it? I've tried keeping busy, and exercising. But I still feel so blue. I've also been very stressed with school, and my friends are working a lot lately so I've been really lonely. So maybe that has something to do with it...but IDK. Any suggestions though?
 
The depression gets worse with regular use. The only guaranteed way to snap out of this is to stop and force yourself to take breaks. It's REALLY hard (if you're a complete etard like me), but after a month you're back to your old self.

It has been 53 days and 15 hours since I last did mdxx (MDA molly at a psy party back in Jan). Just realize the longer you wait the better you'll feel IRL and the better your rolls will be later on. Craving that feeling of happiness that only MDMA knows how to supply is natural.

If you want to try a suggestion, however, I can tell you that in my experience Sam-E (s-adenosylmethionine) has taken me from suicidal to blissful in about thirty minutes. It doesn't work for everyone, but I can take it whenever I'm feeling down and in a short while I'll feel extremely euphoric without the fucked up feeling you get from E. Don't know if this is normal or how many people it works for, but it works really well for me.

Hope you get to feeling better ^^
 
Try your best to resist the urge rollin420girl. I've been there and I know the temptation to want to just live in the moment and say fuck it to everything else but it the end you're going to regret it. It takes maturity and self control to break any type of bad habit, especially ones that are drug related.

Hang in there, you will start to feel better eventually. The time it takes varies greatly from person to person but the longer your brain has to get back to its normal rhythm the better off you will be.
 
rollin420girl said:
Every time after I roll, during the days when I'm in a complete shitty depressed mood, I think to myself that I never want to roll again. I love it so so so much, and I'm responsible about it, I space it out and everything. But I just don't know if it's worth feeling like this. I almost feel like this is worse than my normal depression. :( I just want my normal seretonin levels back. Have any of you ever thought about giving it up because of the post-rolling feelings?
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i honestly think 5-htp helps big time. i take 200mg before bed post roll, 200mg when i wake up, and then 200mg before bed the next night. i can notice a big difference.
 
I've definitely considered it. Whenever my girlfriend and I do roll, we have to make sure that we have at least 2 days to recover - going to work / school feeling completely shitty is not very fun. Although the feeling on MDMA is amazing, it seems that the consequences and being out of "normal life" for a coupla days isn't worth it, especially with other responsibilities to be thinking about.

The sheer number of Pipes and dirty product out there doesn't help, either. I don't think I've come across a real, clean E pill in a very very very long time. Molly also seems to have a certain factor of dissatisfaction for us when taken. I realize that this could be a combination of psychological effects & cut product, but nevertheless, we always find ourselves wishing it had hit us harder, since we don't get opportunities to roll very often anymore.

Blah :(
 
trainwreckmolly said:
i honestly think 5-htp helps big time.
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word.

When I first started rolling I heard 5-htp was good to take beforehand to make you roll harder...... didn't work. However after a roll it is great to keep your mood positive. I take two 100mg doses per day for 3 or 4 days after a i roll, i havent tested this method much in the grand scheme of things but it has worked for me.
 
last night was my last time.Imagine thinking your getting MDMA when it turns out to be fucken pcp
worst night of my life.but thats the risk you take when you buy shit.:/
 
Bthompson said:
last night was my last time.Imagine thinking your getting MDMA when it turns out to be fucken pcp
worst night of my life.but thats the risk you take when you buy shit.:/
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Well that is something that can be easily avoided. Buy a test kit lets u know if your pills are shitty and could even save ur life
 
rollin420girl said:
Every time after I roll, during the days when I'm in a complete shitty depressed mood, I think to myself that I never want to roll again. I love it so so so much, and I'm responsible about it, I space it out and everything. But I just don't know if it's worth feeling like this. I almost feel like this is worse than my normal depression. :( I just want my normal seretonin levels back. Have any of you ever thought about giving it up because of the post-rolling feelings?
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yes I thought about it all the time for a while THEN... I actually quit and havent rolled in years. Honestly I know it was the right decision. I know I might roll again one day but its no longer a part of my life you know.

everyone has a honeymoon stage with the drug ecstasy when its really perfect. some people's last longer than others, but eventually your body tells you when its time to stop, the negatives overide the positives, and you have to have the common sence to know when your life needs a change.
 
When you find yourself taking it just "to feel happy" you will be disappointed. Then at the end you'll be left wondering whether it was you or the roll that was missing something.

I cannot express enough how important food/sunlight is. Your brain needs chemicals to rebalance, and you get those chemicals primarily from what you eat. Eat Omega-3 fish oils, or flaxseed oil if you're vegetarian. Look up foods that improve your mood long term. Try to get out in the sun a lot and sleep regularly.
PMS is often a result of imbalanced serotonin due to hormones, you could just be extra low this month due to timing with the roll and with your hormone levels.
 
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