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Ever thought about giving up rolling?

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rollin420girl

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 22, 2010
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Every time after I roll, during the days when I'm in a complete shitty depressed mood, I think to myself that I never want to roll again. I love it so so so much, and I'm responsible about it, I space it out and everything. But I just don't know if it's worth feeling like this. I almost feel like this is worse than my normal depression. :( I just want my normal seretonin levels back. Have any of you ever thought about giving it up because of the post-rolling feelings?
 
I've given up rolling for similar reasons, after trying it only once years ago. Your observation that post-MDMA depression is worse than normal depression especially resonates with me. Recently I was toying with the idea of trying it again, but I've decided that I'm content enough having had the experience once (I loved it and got a lot out of it, FWIW) and only once. It just isn't worth feeling that terrible for so long afterward in exchange for an experience that, as fun as it was, is still second only to the euphoria I can get from "true" psychedelics.
 
I usually do things to mitigate the post-roll blues. Having plenty of good weed or benzos is a must for me; as with having good food, vitamins and sports drinks. I always like to make sure I go for a run as well for a few days after I roll. All those things drastically help the depression that's directly an effect from rolling.
 
I feel the same way; I just take longer breaks when the "blah" next-week feeling overwhelms the value of the high. I'm on 2-3 month breaks between uses for this reason, actually. I think most people discontinue MDMA for similar reasons...feeling shitty for a week just to roll stops being fun after a while. :\
 
I think about giving it up almost every time after i roll. The problem is, when i'm faced with it again, I don't turn it down. It's like a vicious cycle. I just recently took five pills, and the days after sucked so bad. I said i was never going to roll again. Lets see how this turns out...
 
I used to say that EVERYtime I rolled. Low and behold an idea would come up to roll or some rave (which btw, stay away from the rave scene if you dont want to roll, i guarentee ull keep doing it again)


Take it from me: if your feeling this way, depressed and what not, just stop.

Its VERY hard to stop completely, I know, but its for the better.

My pill count is in way in the hudreds along with my rave count, and im glad im done.

Although I had some amazing times, I had to stop. Best of luck.
 
I dunno I gradually grew out of it. I'll still do it. Maybe because it's winter and I just naturally feel depressed in winter and I just don't want to do anything heavy, but come spring, I think I can get back into it.
 
I rolled almost every weekend for 2 years, lost 7 jobs because of it, Fucked my serotinin levels, attention span, gave me majour HPPD, panic attacks, plus more..
it came to the stage where the high wasnt worth it.... and i now havent had a pill for 3 years, and dont miss it abit.

Ive now found psychedelics!!! way better high, with no come down :D
cant go wrong haha.
 
mrdelerious thank you someone who knows the nasty effects of mdma. I was almost at that height (sometimes twice three times a week) and I know exactly what your talking about.

While psychedelics arient the greatest of substitute (...) im glad your doing better :)

Plus who doesnt love a little lucy everyone once ina while... ;)
 
Yeah... I think mdma is cool for the experience, and maybe once or twice a year, but I really wouldn't do it all that much. It's just not worth the after effects. I guess that's whats great about it at the same time. Is that if you do abuse it, you won't really get anywhere.
 
I have thought about it. Based on how much I love and think about it. It is by far my favorite drug and the one that has helped me the most personally.

I value my brain lol and it can become novelty and the negative side effects are not fun. So for now I have made the decision to take longer breaks..I am on a 4 month break now. When June comes around I am looking forward to a bomb -ass roll that I will cherish and learn from :)
 
its.euphoric said:
Yeah... I think mdma is cool for the experience, and maybe once or twice a year, but I really wouldn't do it all that much. It's just not worth the after effects. I guess that's whats great about it at the same time. Is that if you do abuse it, you won't really get anywhere.
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:) agreed ^
 
pills made me want to stop for ever. Molly has made me only want to take breaks because of how quickly you can build a tolerance for it. I don't think I would quit molly for a long time, with pure MDMA I don't feel the depression as bad as with pills. I also drink when I do MDMA so i dont know if the depression is coming from the alcohol or the MDMA.
 
My god! You guys, when will I be normal again?! I suspect I have depression to begin with...(maybe that means I shouldn't be rolling). BUt this....this is so much worse. This is like one of those really awful awful terrible horrible terribly awful days that you just don't want to do it anymore...I effing hate rolling. Hate it, hate it, hate it. :(

And now I'm freaking out that I'll never be back to normal again...I just want to be my normal self. I think all the time that I don't because the depression I face is too awful, but I'd take my depression over this fucking ecstasy depression any day. It just feels so different...even though my normal depression gets really bad sometimes....this just feels so different. Will I ever go back to my normal self??? It's been three days.
 
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rollin420girl said:
My god! You guys, when will I be normal again?! I suspect I have depression to begin with...(maybe that means I shouldn't be rolling). BUt this....this is so much worse. This is like one of those really awful awful terrible horrible terribly awful days that you just don't want to do it anymore...I effing hate rolling. Hate it, hate it, hate it. :(

And now I'm freaking out that I'll never be back to normal again...I just want to be my normal self. I think all the time that I don't because the depression I face is too awful, but I'd take my depression over this fucking ecstasy depression any day. It just feels so different...even though my normal depression gets really bad sometimes....this just feels so different. Will I ever go back to my normal self??? It's been three days.
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The most important thing is to try to relax. You will eventually return to normal, especially considering that you haven't been using for very long. Being in a state of panic will only make the problem worse, so attempt to calmly remind yourself that you are ultimately in control of your mental state.

Since it seems that you already suffer from depression, you might consider talking to a doctor about it. In any case, we're here for you if you need advice or just a friendly ear (you can always PM me if you'd rather talk about things privately). Good luck and take care. <3
 
Take small doses, space your rolls out, test your shit.

This type of behavior will help, but I don't think anyone will end up taking ecstasy their whole life. The biggest factor in this is probably, like you said, how prone a person is to depression or the negative effects of drugs. Listen to your body, if its time to stop then stop and don't let the influences that drive you to take ecstasy make your decisions.
 
Stop taking pills. Seriously. Dont start up 2 weeks later because you feel better. Think of this expierience and learn from it. Its the best advice anyone can give you.

People with normal depression (like myself btw) should not be doing mdma as it will further heighten your depression even further.

If your depression is continuing further, then think about anti depressents. Lexapro is working for me.

best of luck.
 
rollin420girl said:
Every time after I roll, during the days when I'm in a complete shitty depressed mood, I think to myself that I never want to roll again. I love it so so so much, and I'm responsible about it, I space it out and everything. But I just don't know if it's worth feeling like this. I almost feel like this is worse than my normal depression. :( I just want my normal seretonin levels back. Have any of you ever thought about giving it up because of the post-rolling feelings?
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I roll 2-4 times a year and don't have any significant negative side affects afterwards, so I'll keep doing it. People prone to depression should stay away from MDMA though!
 
I'm giving it up, I've decided. This is the fourth day of feeling like this...I'm getting really worried that I won't go back to normal ever. And it kills me that I'm giving it up because I have so much fun doing it. And I love being able to have that confidence and that optimism...normally I'm awkward in a one on one situation with a friend...but while rolling, I'm not. I could talk for hours about anything. I'm not afraid to say what I feel, or voice my opinion. For once I'm happy, and I'm not scared...

The one good thing that will come from me giving it up is that my friend, who also faces depression, will give it up too. He and I both roll for the wrong reaons, I think. It's not to be dancey, to see lights, to feel oh nice fabrics and stuff feel. It's just to be able to feel happy. I'm glad that this is a wake up call for me, and will be for him. I'm just sad I'll never be able to feel like that again.
 
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