I used to get lucky all the time when I had a clean record. Now that I've been caught a few its a lot harder to just play off being a normal square when they see controlled substance charges and a DUI on my record. Since these kinds of threads is about war stories to read when were bored (I love reading them myself) I guess I'll give a few:
This one isn't all that crazy, but I was driving through a small town in my county that I've had trouble with in the past as far as asshole cops on a few traffic tickets, and should have known better that to be careless in the area, especially since I only had to drive in the town for like 2 minutes before I got to my friends house. I had probably a half ounce of pot and a bunch of oxys and other random pills and paraphernalia in my possession. Eyes were obviously bloodshot and pinned. I was bumping my system loud through a little residential area not paying attention to the radar detector, and the second I was about to pull in to my friends driveway I saw the lights behind me. The officer said I just blew through the stop sign and was driving erratically (even thought she only saw my driving for like 30 seconds, and I swear to this day I made a complete stop, or at least a rolling stop). Went though all of the usual procedures, cop seemed pretty suspicious seemed to give me a few extra questions trying to catch me in something. She seemed satisfied and just let me be with a ticket. At the time I had hair to my ass and looked like an obvious junkie.
In the same town I was leaving a gas station after driving two friends to pick up with a large quantity in my trunk and was accidentally driving with no lights at 10:30 pm (bright streetlights + stoned). Saw a car flashing it's headlights at me, and everybody in the car was all paranoid thinking they were warning us of a cop up ahead. As the car drove past I noticed it WAS a cop. Didn't even realize what the fuck just happened until quite a ways down the road. Still wondering why the fuck I didn't end up in jail on that one. Definitely got punched for that one.
This is one of my favorites, because I can't believe I got away with it. Before attending a giant music festival we have in my city (Summerfest) I killed a bottle of 151 between me and two other friends and a few beers, a long with countless bowls. At the festival I probably had only two more beers and after coming back I took half an ecstasy pill to wake me up a bit (not a huge fan of the drug, but caffeine wasn't waking me up enough to party on through the night). After a few hours and many bowls in a smoked out apartment, the ecstasy pill had me feeling sobered up and awake to the point that I (stupidly) wanted to go home and play some guitar. I got in to my car and drove the wrong way out of my parking spot, so I had to loop around the block to get back to the main road which leads to the freeway. Unfortunately the road I turned on was a one way, and the second I realized that a cop turned on the road. I saw the cop right as I was turning down the an ally and I drove up it quite a way before he pulled me over, so it looked very much like I was trying to be evasive. Before he even came to my car he called for back up, and I knew I was fucked and lit up a cig because I knew I was going to jail. At that moment I realized I was way more fucked up then I thought I was. When he came up to my window he shined his flashlight in to my very fux0r'd eyes and asked for my license. I pulled out my wallet and struggled to get my ID out, while shaking violently with fear, making a weak attempt to talk straight. I didn't really put too much effort in since I knew there was no way I was getting out of this. He had the other officer watch me while he ran my ID because he said I was acting suspicious and didn't want me to grab for anything. As the officer talked to me I explained that I was from out of town (which my license at the time corroborated) and this was my first time in a city area. I told him where I come from we don't have any one ways and I'm real sorry and I didn't notice what was going on until I saw the cars were all facing me and I tried to get off that road before I hit the car coming at me (the cop). I talked with a little bit of an accent since I was saying I was from a more "country area" and because focusing on that helped me speak more "sober". I explained being on the road right around bar close time saying that I worked third shift with my friend and this is the middle of the afternoon for us (true). He asked if I was drinking, doing drugs, mentioned my eyes looked a little whacked. Blamed that on third shift, and he loosened up a bit and said he worked the same schedule and could relate. The other came back and luckily my license was valid (just reinstated two days earlier through the mail) and I gave him the same story and luckily he fell for it even though the town I was living in is pretty much a suburb of a bigger city in the next county over which is notorious for one ways and poor city planning. I got off with a warning and being told that I live in a nice county and I should enjoy the fishing.
I was late to work going 75 mph on a 45 mph road by my house with a suspended license when a cop (which I didn't notice on my radar detector again due to bumping the subs) drove past my and turned on his lights as I slowed down to get ready to pull over. He just chirped me, shook his finger and drove past. The exact same thing happened the next day, except this time he only smiled and shook his head.
This all sounds reckless and stupid, and it was, so just for the kids I'll give the moral of the story:
All of this hedonism and debauchery eventually ended in epic fail. After drinking more than a liter of whiskey and doing some dope with a friend I had his sober girlfriend drive me home. I passed out on the way back so they just parked my car in my subdivision since they didn't know which house was mine. Somewhere around that time I must have became semi-conscious during the black out, and next thing I knew was I was in some random dudes's pick up truck telling me he was low on gas and needed to drop me off somewhere. For some reason I remember this not really bothering me and just being like "So what happened?" He told me I crashed my car up the road, and he didn't want to drop me off back there because of the cops. I just kinda ranted on about how I was a junkie and I needed to get clean, and then I distinctly remember asking the guy if he was an "angel" lol. No idea where that came from. He started getting pissed because he was low on gas and I just told him to drop me off. I really wish I knew who that guy was or how I ended up in his truck. Still to this day don't know if I flagged him down, or if he offered to get me out of there, or if I was just wandering around and he decided to get me the hell out of there so I didn't wander in to traffic and get hit. So after he dropped me off, I just called my parents and they said the police were looking for me so I just said fuck it and told them were I was. I got picked up by an ambulance on the side of the road, and despite just feeling tired and sore at the time I was quite fucked up with a head injury, a broken arm, and quite a few other major cuts and shit. I lost a lot of blood. So if the guy who picked me up is a bluelighter, sorry about the blood in your truck, and please PM me and tell me what happened! Anyway I was in the ICU and couldn't even piss and was shaking violently probably from alcohol withdrawal/shock/head injury, so they gave me 4 mg IV ativan and I woke up 24 hours later feeling like a million bucks. Ended up copping a few charges, a permanently disfigured face, and a pain in the ass busted arm. Still suffering the consequences from that one. The accident ended up being a bad one. I hit a tree head on at 70 mph with no seat belt. Somehow it didn't go through my already cracked windshield, but a mark of where my head hit was visible in the glass complete with a part of my scalp hair and all. The officer said he's never seen anyone survive such a violent accident with no seat belt and it's a miracle I survived. I don't remember anything from that night other than an image of leaving work with the liquor on my way to my friends and chilling in his basement. I have a flash of me thinking to go to the McDonald's for some reason, and another flash of me standing outside my car, looking at some other car I fucked up and panicking and driving away. Both are weird because I was nowhere near a McDonald's and I never hit any other car. I'm really lucky because I'm alive.
Now I don't get really lucky as far as trouble goes because I avoid it like the plague.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
