Evaluating

I've done a lot of self evaluation lately and have come to a lot of positive realizations I think.

Relationships aren't everything. Although what we had for 4 1/2 years was real, we were in two different places in life. I can't ever be with him again because a part of me will always resent him for what he did to me. Ill never be able to let go. Ill never be part of his family. It's something that's important to me and he doesn't view it that way. I'm not speaking to him anymore. It hurts me but its the way it needs to be...

I can't live here anymore. I hate the east coast. The north east. The drugs, the people, the weather...there's nowhere around here to run. I fantasize about packing up my car and just driving until I find somewhere that feels right. I have money saved, so I technically could, I just don't know if I could leave my job and school. Of course, I could always start fresh, since that is the point after all. I can't stand to be here anymore. Every turn brings me anxiety because every corner is lurking with bad memories.

My opiate addiction has gotten way out of fucking control. I never thought I'd be at this point. Isn't that what we all say?

 

Move if you need to, hun. I did when I was in a similar situation and it was the best thing I could've done for myself. The timing sounds right and you have the funds. Things have a way of falling into place the way they're supposed to.

 

It seems like it's the right thing to do and I have a huge driving force within me. Something is telling me to get out of this state, and I really think I should trust my instincts. It's such a big, life changing decision, but I have my whole life ahead of me. All I need to do is find employment and a reasonable apartment or place for rent, and I'm going to do it. It's exciting, frightening, and intriguing all at once.

 

I know that feeling so well. Embrace it and follow your heart. This is the way great things start.