Etizolam withdrawal/tapering off? I've messed up badly.

[LowlandSpring]

Hi, I've had a search about this topic, and come up with some good information from months back, but was wondering if anyone could help me out here?

Long story short, after overcoming a 20mg-120mg a day MXE binge/addiction/whatever, and burning out my serotonin receptor by dropping MDMA 2-3 nights a week for two months last year, I recently managed (through my own idiocy and recklessness) to get myself swept up in a pretty hard Etizolam habit.

It just turns off all the demons and anxieties in my head, but at this stage, I don't know if it's because of my anxiety issues taking hold, or because I'm physically addicted to the stuff.

Itit's about 100 mg over a month minimum, but last week I managed to get through about 100 mg in about 4 days...
I have 3 mg in my wallet, 40mg at my girlfriends house (Given to her by me to allow for rationing). Prior to this event it was 1-4 mg daily, minimum, since about December.

How do I go about this? Do I contact a doctor? I keep fighting the urge to hide it further and order more, but my relationship is far too important to me than this drug. I'd rather do counselling than lose what I have.

Sorry if I'm breaking the rules here somehow, or if it has been covered better elsewhere. If there is a better place for this, I'll happily post there/research there.

I just feel like I'm breaking and I don't of any other resource that could help me out.
Any advice? Even if brutalm it's welcome.
Thanks x

EDIT: Should also probably mention the brief (i.e. 4-5 days) of taking morphine pills I found for kicks around the time the etizolam kicked off...

 

[alovesupreme]

good god i don't understand how folks manage to use benzos in such quantities. you can try a taper per the ashton manual but etizolam, like, say, xanax, is trickier to use in a taper because it has a fairly short half-life. i dunno how it is in the UK but generally benzo addiction carries less stigma than opiate addiction and if you just talk to your doctor, they may be amenable to helping you taper off with a long-acting benzo like klonopin or valium.

if you do have opiates available you can very quickly reduce your benzo intake (especially with short half-life benzos) by using the opiates to mask the benzo w/d but this takes discipline and you have the risk of trading one addiction and set of withdrawals for another... don't take my mention of it as any kind of recommendation. maybe kratom could help you (though it's a mind fuck in it's own right if abused).