wish I could have every Tuesday afternoon off. I got to see my friends last night, and they are always a barrel of laughs, trust me. I can always count on these characters for laughs and let's just say spending a day or evening with them is anything but boring. I heard from my long distance boyfriend again today by email and IM. He's been sending me a lot of them lately. He was off in Brussels for the week attending business conferences, trying to get his own corporation off the ground, which of course will take a while. Well, if anyone can pull it off, he can, although it will probably take a couple of years, I'm guessing, but he knows his stuff.
His cushy career as a CEO with this company that lasted 30 years gave him a 2 year severance pay package, so I figure that by the end of 2 years, he will be generating a decent income again. At his age, it's almost impossible to find a company that will hire him, especially in this economy and being over qualified to boot. My dad always told me to choose a profession that is always needed, that way I could tell an employer to fuck off if I had too, lol. Best advice he ever gave me, and I'm damn glad I happened to do just that, because for me there will always be work, regardless of age.
Ok now I'm going to write about what's bugging me. Although I love Brendan, and he loves me, distance prevents us from seeing each other even only 2 times a year consistently. I could be happy with that. I know full well that he is a playboy, but I told him I don't want to know any details. Still, even though he IS and has always been a playboy, he's always treated me like a lady and the first few times we chatted on line, he never started a conversation with something like, "I'd love to put my cock between your tits" or "I'd love to fuck your brains out," ect. Apart from having strong feelings for him, the main reason I've been celibate for so long is that trying to meet and find a man in So Cali, even for a no strings affair, that caters to my hopeless romantic side, has proved impossible.
Finally, I decided to put an ad online because the frustration and longing for some romantic then later sexual interlude was driving me over the edge. I knew up front that even after stating exactly what I wanted, I'd most likely not find anyone that does not want sex right away and try pressuring me to hook up right away. Sigh. My mind just doesn't work that way, especially after years of non stop celibacy. I've often thought I was born in the wrong time period, well since my 30's that is, or the wrong country. Mom always told me growing up that she thought my generation (which is already old by modern standards) got ripped off because in the early 60's unmarried women could go on multiple dates with the same man and not be expected to have sex. Sex often times wasn't even considered unless they became engaged or something.
In fact, the culture and morays of that time demanded sexual abstinence from unmarried women and honestly, until I hit turned 30, I could only respond to her with a blank stare. They say women get hornier in their 40's, but not so with me. I was horny in my teens and 20's big time and couldn't imagine the frustration of being forced to be celibate with raging hormones. At the time, I thanked God that I wasn't born in her generation because although I wasn't the type to sleep around with just anyone, I still would have been labeled as what Mom called "cheap" or "easy" back then and would have been treated as such. However, now more than ever, I fully appreciate what she meant. The down side of changed attitudes towards sex is that it's actually expected.
That doesn't sit well with me. I appreciate the interest I've received, I'm sure every woman does. Women will always want to be told they are beautiful. The bummer is that in spite of clearly stating what I want, a few people have actually gotten pissed off at the fact that I haven't responded. The main reason I don't respond is because they say they want to meet ASAP or fuck ASAP. Either that or, they are outside the age range I want, or the race that I want. Younger guys are more uncomplicated in that their needs are pretty simple, which is exactly why I don't want to date younger guys. If anything, I stand a much better chance with an old fart like myself that is willing to wait. Getting turned on sexually starts between the ears, not between the legs. I need mental stimulation, romance, then sensuality before I can even think about responding sexually.
My boyfriend has stated too that he wants me all to himself, and he certainly would be upset to find out I'd been with someone else, even though he clearly stated that that was a bit unreasonable. We're not even sure when we can see each other again and its been 8 years. I can't afford to fly out and stay in Dublin, and when he lost his cushy job, I don't think he can afford to come here right now either, or he would have like we planned. That's the way life goes sometimes. In spite of the distance and the money, neither one of us are willing to let the other go and will probably be emailing a long time plus even get together infrequently whenever that may take place.
At times, I secretly feel guilty for posting an ad too every time I think about B. There are 2 people that I'm trying to get to know, but have doubts they will want to pursue anything further once they find out I don't hop in the sack right away. This is why I don't want to hook up right away. I hate wasting my time going through the effort of meeting someone, only for them to get pissed off I won't have sex with them until I'm ready. I only want one partner, once a month and trying to sort out who might or might not work out is a slow process.
His cushy career as a CEO with this company that lasted 30 years gave him a 2 year severance pay package, so I figure that by the end of 2 years, he will be generating a decent income again. At his age, it's almost impossible to find a company that will hire him, especially in this economy and being over qualified to boot. My dad always told me to choose a profession that is always needed, that way I could tell an employer to fuck off if I had too, lol. Best advice he ever gave me, and I'm damn glad I happened to do just that, because for me there will always be work, regardless of age.
Ok now I'm going to write about what's bugging me. Although I love Brendan, and he loves me, distance prevents us from seeing each other even only 2 times a year consistently. I could be happy with that. I know full well that he is a playboy, but I told him I don't want to know any details. Still, even though he IS and has always been a playboy, he's always treated me like a lady and the first few times we chatted on line, he never started a conversation with something like, "I'd love to put my cock between your tits" or "I'd love to fuck your brains out," ect. Apart from having strong feelings for him, the main reason I've been celibate for so long is that trying to meet and find a man in So Cali, even for a no strings affair, that caters to my hopeless romantic side, has proved impossible.
Finally, I decided to put an ad online because the frustration and longing for some romantic then later sexual interlude was driving me over the edge. I knew up front that even after stating exactly what I wanted, I'd most likely not find anyone that does not want sex right away and try pressuring me to hook up right away. Sigh. My mind just doesn't work that way, especially after years of non stop celibacy. I've often thought I was born in the wrong time period, well since my 30's that is, or the wrong country. Mom always told me growing up that she thought my generation (which is already old by modern standards) got ripped off because in the early 60's unmarried women could go on multiple dates with the same man and not be expected to have sex. Sex often times wasn't even considered unless they became engaged or something.
In fact, the culture and morays of that time demanded sexual abstinence from unmarried women and honestly, until I hit turned 30, I could only respond to her with a blank stare. They say women get hornier in their 40's, but not so with me. I was horny in my teens and 20's big time and couldn't imagine the frustration of being forced to be celibate with raging hormones. At the time, I thanked God that I wasn't born in her generation because although I wasn't the type to sleep around with just anyone, I still would have been labeled as what Mom called "cheap" or "easy" back then and would have been treated as such. However, now more than ever, I fully appreciate what she meant. The down side of changed attitudes towards sex is that it's actually expected.
That doesn't sit well with me. I appreciate the interest I've received, I'm sure every woman does. Women will always want to be told they are beautiful. The bummer is that in spite of clearly stating what I want, a few people have actually gotten pissed off at the fact that I haven't responded. The main reason I don't respond is because they say they want to meet ASAP or fuck ASAP. Either that or, they are outside the age range I want, or the race that I want. Younger guys are more uncomplicated in that their needs are pretty simple, which is exactly why I don't want to date younger guys. If anything, I stand a much better chance with an old fart like myself that is willing to wait. Getting turned on sexually starts between the ears, not between the legs. I need mental stimulation, romance, then sensuality before I can even think about responding sexually.
My boyfriend has stated too that he wants me all to himself, and he certainly would be upset to find out I'd been with someone else, even though he clearly stated that that was a bit unreasonable. We're not even sure when we can see each other again and its been 8 years. I can't afford to fly out and stay in Dublin, and when he lost his cushy job, I don't think he can afford to come here right now either, or he would have like we planned. That's the way life goes sometimes. In spite of the distance and the money, neither one of us are willing to let the other go and will probably be emailing a long time plus even get together infrequently whenever that may take place.
At times, I secretly feel guilty for posting an ad too every time I think about B. There are 2 people that I'm trying to get to know, but have doubts they will want to pursue anything further once they find out I don't hop in the sack right away. This is why I don't want to hook up right away. I hate wasting my time going through the effort of meeting someone, only for them to get pissed off I won't have sex with them until I'm ready. I only want one partner, once a month and trying to sort out who might or might not work out is a slow process.