Yes I'm going through the very same problem you're complaining about. Granted, I've been a binge user on & off 27 years & am very much an addict BUT I always eventually returned to my baseline energy level up until mid 2008. This meant I could binge on meth & 3 days after stopping I'd feel halfway human & in 3 wks fine without drugs (ADD symptoms aside off meth.) It's the same with my Rx pills I've been taking on & off many years. During a daily heavy use for 1, 2 yrs+ it took a while several months before I felt ok without dope.
I got clean off all drugs/alcohol Dec 2006 & stayed clean 2007 but took Tramadol in 2008 for a couple wks - biggest mistake of my life. I struggled for a year to get off of them, but unlike traditional meth & opiates I never did get my physical energy level back & lost the ability to experience enjoyment from doing the things I enjoyed doing clean prior to the Tramadol use & I tried 9 months to taper until finally I couldn't tolerate the suffering of being tired 24/7 no matter how much sleep a day I got or didn't get. I was tired from the second I woke up until I went to bed again.
I tried Weight Watchers, regular exercise 3 x a week, going to NA 3 x a week, telling my MD who ran a shit load of blood work totaling $600--my portion after insurance that is & she couldn't find anything wrong. Out of money to spend on tests & working at a job that does not give paid sick or vacation days, I did what I had to do to survive having to maintain a job 5-6 shifts/wk & to be awake without feeling like a depleted joyless wad fighting to keep from falling asleep on the job in spite of having slept 9 hrs before work.
My threshold for suffering had been reached knowing for a fact that although I'd have to maintain an ongoing habit, I would nevertheless be granted relief for the day. Thats been the case with me since my official relapse in March of 2009. Financially it sucks having to buy Rx & my weekly allottment of meth, but it sucks less than even the thought of feeling the way I did before meth/opiate Rx & after tramadol. I've been contemplating asking doc for a script for vyvanse to treat both chronic fatigue and ADD. I won't get high on vyvanse, as it's a much weaker drug than IV meth. Still, I'm willing to forego the IV meth in favor of legitimate, legal "treatment," but then again I'm not counting on it. For all I know I'll be perceived as a drug seeker & doc may frown on giving me vyvanse when she's already had me on my Rx for ongoing migraines. I've stuck with one Rx for pain only, as oxy, heroin, percs, methadone don't touch my pain, yet curiously enough fiorinal/codeine (my Rx) works like a charm for pain and/or cop a buzz as well as help temporarily restore my brain chemistry so I can tolerate, even enjoy merely going about activities of daily living & work.
There's a defininte difference from the days when I was suffering w/ds that sucked but eventually went away after a couple weeks or months, whereas after tramadol this crap went on continuously 9 months until I said fuck it. Enter meth & painkillers. Exit fatigue/ADD/apathy cursed existence....for a day at least. After which = another day, another dose. It's preferable to the apathetic killjoy quality as the alternative though.
I got clean off all drugs/alcohol Dec 2006 & stayed clean 2007 but took Tramadol in 2008 for a couple wks - biggest mistake of my life. I struggled for a year to get off of them, but unlike traditional meth & opiates I never did get my physical energy level back & lost the ability to experience enjoyment from doing the things I enjoyed doing clean prior to the Tramadol use & I tried 9 months to taper until finally I couldn't tolerate the suffering of being tired 24/7 no matter how much sleep a day I got or didn't get. I was tired from the second I woke up until I went to bed again.
I tried Weight Watchers, regular exercise 3 x a week, going to NA 3 x a week, telling my MD who ran a shit load of blood work totaling $600--my portion after insurance that is & she couldn't find anything wrong. Out of money to spend on tests & working at a job that does not give paid sick or vacation days, I did what I had to do to survive having to maintain a job 5-6 shifts/wk & to be awake without feeling like a depleted joyless wad fighting to keep from falling asleep on the job in spite of having slept 9 hrs before work.
My threshold for suffering had been reached knowing for a fact that although I'd have to maintain an ongoing habit, I would nevertheless be granted relief for the day. Thats been the case with me since my official relapse in March of 2009. Financially it sucks having to buy Rx & my weekly allottment of meth, but it sucks less than even the thought of feeling the way I did before meth/opiate Rx & after tramadol. I've been contemplating asking doc for a script for vyvanse to treat both chronic fatigue and ADD. I won't get high on vyvanse, as it's a much weaker drug than IV meth. Still, I'm willing to forego the IV meth in favor of legitimate, legal "treatment," but then again I'm not counting on it. For all I know I'll be perceived as a drug seeker & doc may frown on giving me vyvanse when she's already had me on my Rx for ongoing migraines. I've stuck with one Rx for pain only, as oxy, heroin, percs, methadone don't touch my pain, yet curiously enough fiorinal/codeine (my Rx) works like a charm for pain and/or cop a buzz as well as help temporarily restore my brain chemistry so I can tolerate, even enjoy merely going about activities of daily living & work.
There's a defininte difference from the days when I was suffering w/ds that sucked but eventually went away after a couple weeks or months, whereas after tramadol this crap went on continuously 9 months until I said fuck it. Enter meth & painkillers. Exit fatigue/ADD/apathy cursed existence....for a day at least. After which = another day, another dose. It's preferable to the apathetic killjoy quality as the alternative though.