escalated multi drug misuse (speed, benzo, ketamine, ghb, opis etc) advice needed

[limitlessness]

Fellow bluelighters,
Im a first time poster but I have been reading for meany years and I am very thankful for the ones sharing information here and the ones making it possible. Please let me know if I missed some rule.


I want to share my experience and need some advice on how to take care of a multi substance abuse, addiction, withdrawals and medication (//After thinking it through it feels like nothing compared to what many heavy addicts have to handle in their life still I have a growing concern for developing a bad bad habit). Sorry if this ends up as a WoT but I find it quite hard to decide whats relevant (and im not really sober).

Drug history: Periods of quite heavy drinking every weekend in social situations but now reduced to alot less. I have a 5yo history with cannabis ranging from periods of bong hits all day to months with only a few tokes now and then but dont think ive been off it completely more than a few weeks in a row. Last 3 years E/mdma around 20 times often quite moderate doses and mostly 1month+ between dropping. Speed use have mostly been quite responsible and in low doses sporadically in periods with no problem taking a few days off or experiencing any severe addicition, withdrawals or cravings to up the doses even if I ofc have sensed its dangerous potential and got some mild symptoms. Only did benzos sporadically in lower doses before and didnt get any noticeable addiction/withdrawal. Tried opioids maybe 3 times. Never did IV.

Lately my substance intake escalated and I now need advice on how to handle it as I feel things can slip out of control and result in problems if not handled with care. Until about a month a go i was quite sober (only a few drinks/tokes) for roughly 4 weeks. Before that I did low dose speed majority of the days (few days off now and then) and roughly 30 etizolam over a period of about 7weeks. Most noticeable side effects was probably slightly decreased bloodflow (cold fingers/toes) and some fatigue/decreased apetite/digestion problems.

Then around a month ago I got some speed and benzos and ended up doing roughly 50 etiz and 50 pyraz and speed (quite low dose with ok eating and resting) most of the days for 2 weeks. Also smoked H for the first time over 2 days but probably burnt most of it trying to learn the right technique. Ended up feeling quite sick and tried 3 days of 50+150+150mg lyrica but I think it made it worse. Then I stayed sober for 4 days until i got better but "had important things to get done" so started the amph and benz. Tried to keep the dosage down so I got my hands on some tramadol, ketamine and ghb to relax, fight side effects and keep benzo usage down as much as possible. Last week done little speed most days, 15x10mg diazepam, 20ml ghb, 0,2g ket, 450mg tram 1 week ago and now 100mg 3 days in a row. Also been experimenting sporadically with some piracetam and noopept during the time (because of their possible neuroprotectant benefits: some seem to think it cause exotoxicity with stims, some think it raises tolerance quickly, some think it might reduce toxicity/side effects and works well with e.g. adderall prescription). I know combining some of these substances can be really dangerous in many ways especially because of lowered seizure treshold and risk of respiratory depression but in low doses some combos seem to have rather harm reducing effects.

I know my dosage been quite low and ive kept a decent diet with supplements and got decent rest even if there has been som lack of quality sleep, routines and a few days of not so good eating resulting in 2-3kg weightloss. I could probably go cold turkey on everything without too long or severe withdrawal but I fear the benzo/amph habit might result in a week or 2 of a state more suitable to sleeping, smoking weed, eating and not giving a fuck, rather than motivating myself to studying and socialize with friends, family and relatives. That is why I am tempted to give my discipline a chance with something like a strict benzo tapering scheme and keep the amph on adhd medication doses or sporadic use.

I might have access to: GHB like 20ml, ketamine 0,8g, MXE 1g (heard these doing wonders for heavy opi addicts), few valium and 40x1mg alprazolam, 4x150mg lyrica, 11x50mg tramadol, 9x2mg dpmp and speed

Useful supplements: Magnesium, Multi-B, Piracetam 50g (read this can bring the magic back to ppl who have used too much mdma), lechithin, noopept 1g, a "focus" supplement containing n-acetyl-tyrosin (which should be useful in restoring dopamine?), l-theanine, bacopa monniera extract (which Ive heard adderall users successfully tampered vasoconstriction problems with).

Any advice of how I could try use what I have to break my bad habit and maybe prohibit some withdrawal-symptoms or how to tackle my situation in general?

I guess I should avoid alcohol if withdrawing from benzos but how about ghb? (1-2ml a few days a week to fall asleep)

If ive taken 100mg tram 3 days in a row now is it a bad idea to have a few in a week or so to light things up or does it build addiction since it stays in the system so long?

Can I use 25-100mg lyrica 1-2 days a week to help sleep/stabilize mood without developing addiction (heard it has horrible withdrawals)?

Can I use 1-3mg 2dpmp occasionally instead of speed for some focus and energy or will it make withdrawal effects worse? (NDRI/DRI similar to metylphenidate but slightly more subtle effects and long lasting without peak/crash)

Thanks for reading and please ask if theres anything

 

[Swimmingdancer]

The most important thing would be working on your mental addiction (and yes it can still count as addiction even if you are just "addicted" to using drugs in general and there is not really one specific drug you are addicted to or physically dependent on) and the reasons why you use drugs in the first place (whether it be through self-help, therapy, meetings, working on physical and mental health issues, mindfulness techniques, whatever - there are so many different options and it works best to find a combination that works for you personally and think of your mind/body/life/drug use as a whole). This is necessary if you want to succeed, one can't just try to deal with any physical dependence/withdrawal symptoms and not change anything else and expect quitting to stick. If I were you I would quit everything while you still don't have a serious physical dependence yet and use a bunch of supplements to help. I know it may not be convenient, but there is never a convenient time.

But honestly it sounds like you don't actually want to quit using drugs and are more asking for harm reduction advice about how you can continue using drugs while trying to minimize the harm to your life and health and decrease possibility for physical dependence. Which one is it - do you want advice about quitting, or do you just want advice on how to minimize harm? Somewhere in the middle? I can give more appropriate advice if you explain more precisely what your goals are

 

[limitlessness]

Thanks for your reply. I totally agree staying sober for a longer period to develop a more stable personality of confidence and diciplin sounds most reasonable to me. Now is a very good time and even if it might result in some minor changes in my life postponing it only make it harder. I am still healthy with alot of opportunities. I have since i was young been fascinated and tempted about the potential of the brain and mind and how it could be optimised by different methods. Provoked by the drug tabu, anti drug propaganda and learning about how drugs used right like in http://healthland.time.com/2012/10/...-most-important-advance-in-field-in-50-years/ lsd therapy, ibogaine, mdma, nootropics etc could result in very beneficial improvements lead to a temptation to experiment. The confidence getting the benefits knowing you could handle risk of addicition have also tempted. But the more you learn about the subject you realize how complex the subject is and that there are uncertanties and risks involved making it a lottery with better odds on not experimenting on your own. Many great things have been achived because of drugs but probably more because of staying away from it.

Quitting advice is appreciated but Im also interested in theories about harm reduction. Im having a hard time making a decision now but will give it a honest try soon. Just laying it out in words like in this post feels like making the situation more clear

 

[limitlessness]

Tomorrow ill leave to visit family & relatives over xmas holidays until after new years and could decide not bringing any of above mentioned substances probably not being able to access anything except alcohol (which would lessen benz withdrawal symptoms but prob prolong withdrawal) and maybe weed (which im not sure would worsen anxiety or help relaxation, bring apetite etc in this case) .

One of many things that makes me want to bring a "safety kit" is that I dont really know what kind of withdrawal to expect. If I felt I could get away with just some days/weeks of bad mood and claim food poisoning or a bad flu if I get bad physical symptoms the decision would be easier. But I have read enough horrifying withdrawal stories to think theres a chance i might end up in a state that might cause me some problems that I really prefer avoiding with tapering down and harm reduction. I like to think the second option would help me plan and prepare more properly how to take care of my abuse and addiction troubles.

I also feel quite confused about the harm reduction part right now and I would really appreciate some advice. I know no definitive answers can be given. Being more confident in this matter would make me less worried about quitting cold turkey and ending up with irresponsible decisions worsening the situation.

I understood some think mxe/ketamine is quite useful in benz withdrawal situations. Can it also be used occasionaly when tapering down and feeling bad to let the body rest and mind escape reality? Any advice in dosage and how often it can be done and what warning signs to look for?

I am also thinking about GHB and other sleep aids that can be used instead of benzo to keep the tolerance and doses down. Any recommendations? Could maybe some etizolam at night instead of alpra or diaz help keep the tolerance down?

Any chance occasional amph use in low doses might help energy and mood lift or will it just worsen stress&anxiety and up the benz tolerance?

I heard piracetam can do wonders for the mental addiction in alcoholics (and also somewhat reducing the drunk feeling making it easy to remember day after), is there a chance it might do the same for benzo addiction?
I think ive read some who claimed it reduced benzo effectiveness and some who claimed it reduced side effects like drowzyness and memory problems.

Will try to keep you updated to share my experience