I’ll tell you a tale of Eric the llama
A kid with spiritual funk
He was rather fond of his orange pajamas
That’s right he was a monk.
Seriousness, he couldn’t stand
Tibet gave him the right shits
He had to get out of this land
And find his Hollywood and glitz.
Eric studied who weekly
Whilst his friends studied their prayers
He thought ever so bleakly
My life just can’t match their’s.
And so a plane ticket was bought
At long last out of here
Won’t be long now he thought
I might meet Richard Gere
The plane took off and Eric couldn’t stop talking
Of his coming brush with fame
Without further ado he did his stalking
Richard’s address quickly came.
So with an enormous smile on his dial
Eric rang Richard’s bell.
Soaking up the miles of style
This would be a story to tell.
It was answered by an ugly bint
All scowls and menacing glare
Her soulless eyes hadn’t even a glint
“Fuck off” she said, “We don’t care”
The door slammed – quick as dead
And Eric was taken aback
Well, I know how Hollywood works he said
“It’s beauty that I lack”
Eric dialled Dr Galashin
And said “Book me in at 8
I must look suitably dashing
Meeting Richard is my fate.”
At 5.30 Eric arrived
and promptly took his seat
He was feeling considerably alive
And ready for this feat.
Then Eric felt it in the air
He knew it was meant to be
How he knew he did not care
T’was the whiff of celebrity
Steven Seagull bound in to the room
Loudly singing hymns
Off his face on NO2
Ranting and waving his limbs
He stopped and stared and studied
His rambling came to an end
His mind was clearly muddied
He’d come right round this bend
“I know you I know you”
He leapt about manically
“You’re the fifth incarnation of bohdi-satva cosmic light force
take me away to a better a place of funny pictures and furry blankets
and gushing torrents tee hee hee …”
His cackling was quite unnerving
to touch upon it lightly
His mania was unswerving
Was he a crack head – Yes frightfully.
“You’ve really got to try this stuff Eric dude man like spiritually orangely inspired I really respect the deepest religion in the world and think you are blessing with your presence here amidst the rainbows here have a mask full it’ll make you laugh just a little it’s all good fun then we should go for a swim”
Now Eric had a lived a life so pure
He was yet to even get drunk
The laughing gas held its allure
But it had a little too much funk
Soon he was a giggling mess
Who couldn’t control his words
It wasn’t much fun he had to confess
He wanted to fly with the birds
Steven rambled in to his ear
It went straight out the other
Eric’s mind was in the ocean clear
Meditative as a Tibetan brother
He gently lay down his head
And had deep and anxious dreams
And slowly it occurred to him …. That “EVERYTHING IS AS IT SEEMS”
A kid with spiritual funk
He was rather fond of his orange pajamas
That’s right he was a monk.
Seriousness, he couldn’t stand
Tibet gave him the right shits
He had to get out of this land
And find his Hollywood and glitz.
Eric studied who weekly
Whilst his friends studied their prayers
He thought ever so bleakly
My life just can’t match their’s.
And so a plane ticket was bought
At long last out of here
Won’t be long now he thought
I might meet Richard Gere
The plane took off and Eric couldn’t stop talking
Of his coming brush with fame
Without further ado he did his stalking
Richard’s address quickly came.
So with an enormous smile on his dial
Eric rang Richard’s bell.
Soaking up the miles of style
This would be a story to tell.
It was answered by an ugly bint
All scowls and menacing glare
Her soulless eyes hadn’t even a glint
“Fuck off” she said, “We don’t care”
The door slammed – quick as dead
And Eric was taken aback
Well, I know how Hollywood works he said
“It’s beauty that I lack”
Eric dialled Dr Galashin
And said “Book me in at 8
I must look suitably dashing
Meeting Richard is my fate.”
At 5.30 Eric arrived
and promptly took his seat
He was feeling considerably alive
And ready for this feat.
Then Eric felt it in the air
He knew it was meant to be
How he knew he did not care
T’was the whiff of celebrity
Steven Seagull bound in to the room
Loudly singing hymns
Off his face on NO2
Ranting and waving his limbs
He stopped and stared and studied
His rambling came to an end
His mind was clearly muddied
He’d come right round this bend
“I know you I know you”
He leapt about manically
“You’re the fifth incarnation of bohdi-satva cosmic light force
take me away to a better a place of funny pictures and furry blankets
and gushing torrents tee hee hee …”
His cackling was quite unnerving
to touch upon it lightly
His mania was unswerving
Was he a crack head – Yes frightfully.
“You’ve really got to try this stuff Eric dude man like spiritually orangely inspired I really respect the deepest religion in the world and think you are blessing with your presence here amidst the rainbows here have a mask full it’ll make you laugh just a little it’s all good fun then we should go for a swim”
Now Eric had a lived a life so pure
He was yet to even get drunk
The laughing gas held its allure
But it had a little too much funk
Soon he was a giggling mess
Who couldn’t control his words
It wasn’t much fun he had to confess
He wanted to fly with the birds
Steven rambled in to his ear
It went straight out the other
Eric’s mind was in the ocean clear
Meditative as a Tibetan brother
He gently lay down his head
And had deep and anxious dreams
And slowly it occurred to him …. That “EVERYTHING IS AS IT SEEMS”
