If ephedrine is illegal go for p-fed - same fucking thing, so yeah, you didn't want to hear "Sudafed" but it's the closest thing you will get... if you can't get that (or don't want it) then just take some caffeine pills or have a double mocca latte ultra turbo hyper frappa chino or some shit... you said "high doses" of ephedrine are illegal - can you get the standard 25mg Mini-Thins at your local quick-e-mart? If so, just take a few of those... really now, lets think here... how about GNC? Herbally you can get a whole world of shit that will wake you up...
Besides, you can get codeine OTC there, just get a bunch, cold water it, and you're rocking and rolling!
Sadly the title of your post and it's overall nature would kinda put it in violation of forum policy .. if you want some uppers hit up your local health supplement store and ask them for somethingto wake you up, or find some meth...