I know you have had relatively serious back surgery done lately that has been undertreated due to your checkered past (which is bullshit, pain is pain), but having said that, nodding usually takes place when you've dosed too high for your pain levels. Remember, opiates are supposed to
take the edge off of pain, not allow you to be pain free to physically play with your children and other activities against doctor's orders.
I understand this undertreated, severe pain has unfortunately pushed you into using heroin, which is a terrible choice for sustainable chronic pain management due to the very high euphoria to analgesia ratio (it's a very good analgesic, but it's far too euphoric and cheap to use regularly without throwing your life away sooner or later). I would recommend taking less opiates
if you can handle it; remember that opioid rebound pain will only last a limited time. Also remember that a perfect dose of an opioid will simply take the edge off the pain, and not get you feeling any sort of buzz; activity of Mu Opioid Receptors in excess of your pain will get you buzzed.
That being said, if you need something "to stay awake," imo either you are using too high of an opioid dose, or are on a sedating anti-depressant/benzo/sedative/allergy medication. If not, and it truly
is a reasonable dose of a
legitimate opioid, I would recommend staying away from those weight-loss stack pills, and just buy some Bronkaid (ephedrine/guafaneisin) from behind any pharmacy counter, which comes in tablets of 25mg ephedrine each. I would take half of that (12.5mg) in the morning, then 6.25-12.5mg no more than twice more daily. Ephedrine, and caffeine for that matter, both cause moderate levels of stress and anxiety, not to mention that the vasoconstriction
will eventually lead to severe muscle pain in your healing lower back. This same vasoconstriction can be ototoxic as well, which can be a personal problem for you with your hearing levels as they are.
Have you taken a look at low dose, prescribed Modafinil for this purpose?
Good luck, xtcgrrrl, and keep us updated! Flush that heroin down the toilet! Your kids and family actually love you very much, we all think our problems are very large, but as long as we make compromises for our families and give them the love they truly DESERVE, things tend to work out. You sound like a great person, I really
do hope things work out for you.
