As much as I love and am grateful for EFT (emotional freedom technique), it has increased my obsession with 'self-improvement', and has led me to think more about the things I need to fix with myself. Obviously, this has led to much frustration, because it makes me focus less on the ways my life has improved, and more on the faults I have left. Which makes it all the more difficult to find happiness, because desire breeds desire, which eventually (for me anyway) leads to stagnation, because it becomes more impossible to get to those goals when you're either a) daydreaming about how perfect your life will be in that far-off future or b) despairing because you're nowhere near that goal.
So enough of all that bullshit, it just leads to procrastination. In the midst of my frantic search for self-improvement websites, I came across this one: http://anmolmehta.com/ which led to my realisation that I need to concentrate less on "fixing" and more on being. So, with that said, I am finally going to start meditating. I've never really suceeded in meditating for more than 5 minutes before, and even then it was just frustrating, but I'm going to an hour long meditation session in my neighbourhood tomorrow, so that might help get me started. Plus I'm going to take up my morning yoga again, and try meditating after that.
I still can't wait for my next EFT session with my therapist though . The four sessions I've had with her have helped me immensely. A huge chunk of my generalised anxiety is gone (although it was mild to begin with, but the weeks after I quit taking GBL were quite bad, and after seeing her I felt great). There's still some stuff to work with, but I think for now I will take the backseat and stop focusing on working with this stuff on my own so much, because although I have had some successes (the chronic thrush that I've had for five years, gone after a two hour session I did by myself. Success! :D), it would do me good to stop obsessing with self-improvement.
So now I'm just hoping I'll be able to get up early to do my yoga. Better start with that, and only sneak the meditation in after I've become used to doing yoga again - at least I know yoga is something I enjoy doing!
So enough of all that bullshit, it just leads to procrastination. In the midst of my frantic search for self-improvement websites, I came across this one: http://anmolmehta.com/ which led to my realisation that I need to concentrate less on "fixing" and more on being. So, with that said, I am finally going to start meditating. I've never really suceeded in meditating for more than 5 minutes before, and even then it was just frustrating, but I'm going to an hour long meditation session in my neighbourhood tomorrow, so that might help get me started. Plus I'm going to take up my morning yoga again, and try meditating after that.
I still can't wait for my next EFT session with my therapist though . The four sessions I've had with her have helped me immensely. A huge chunk of my generalised anxiety is gone (although it was mild to begin with, but the weeks after I quit taking GBL were quite bad, and after seeing her I felt great). There's still some stuff to work with, but I think for now I will take the backseat and stop focusing on working with this stuff on my own so much, because although I have had some successes (the chronic thrush that I've had for five years, gone after a two hour session I did by myself. Success! :D), it would do me good to stop obsessing with self-improvement.
So now I'm just hoping I'll be able to get up early to do my yoga. Better start with that, and only sneak the meditation in after I've become used to doing yoga again - at least I know yoga is something I enjoy doing!