Endless cycle of binge drinking.

[Tombaron]

Hi guys Im brand new here as a poster but have been lurking for about 5 years on and off. I have turned to you guys for a bit of advice because you lot have been there and done it when it comes to drugs of all sorts and their problems.

I'm a 29 year old male and since the age of 15 or so I've been a heavy binge drinker, I've smoked a lot of weed in the past and can take it or leave it and have the same relationship with coke, not an issue. My big problem is with drink.

Since I've tried to calm down from the age of 22 or so I've gone through cycles of not drinking for a few months, being really productive, getting fit and healthy and moving forward in life then it's almost like some demon inside of me is unleashed and I want to get messed up so I'll go on a 12 hour bender, I'll not drink for a few weeks and the same thing will happen again, gradually the period between these benders becomes shorter and shorter and I'll find myself becoming depressed and lazy, I'll put on kilos of weight in a few months and find myself having a few drinks every night and getting wasted on any days off. It'll take a big scare like drinking a bottle of vodka and almost throwing myself off a building to change my ways, this happened a couple of years ago and now I find myself going down a slippery slope for the second time since.

I managed all this year to control drinking to once a month and Im in good shape and was very productive but started a new job in September, the new place is very social and with the stress of the situation I'm drinking lots more, I feel the same old lethargy and depression, stopped working out and last weekend I went mad on a coke and booze bender, I was so out of control I was doing keys just randomly whilst out on the street and in smoking areas of bars, I should have got arrested.

The issue is I can hold a job down, function as a human and can pass on a drink on the short term so I certainly ain't a normal alcoholic and my social circle don't think so but long term I can't seem to permanently escape the stuff and im terrified of what it turns me into. Does anyone else have the same relationship with drink??

Cheers guys.

 

[herbavore]

It does sound like a 'relationship' you should avoid. It's hard because it is so socially acceptable that it is almost socially required! I'm not a drinker (never liked it) but have had lots of family and friends struggle with alcohol addiction/dependence. Can you see yourself cutting it out completely? Since you say stress was a factor, I would really recommend that you get into some habits that relieve stress much more effectively than substances of any kind--meditation, mindfulness or CBT training for dealing with emotional discomfort and negative thoughts, yoga, aerobic exercise.

For me, mindfulness has been the most helpful in terms of concepts that I can use daily in my own thinking. Briefly, it is nothing more complicated than bringing your mind to the present and exploring anxious or stressful thoughts with a degree of detachment--simply observing them without judgment so that you may understand where they really originate. Once you realize the stress is coming not from outside circumstances but from your own ingrained reactions, you can begin to make baby step changes that add up over time.