ending this search with a satisfied mind.

[iLoveYouWithaKnife]

I'm beginning to think that the present is just the past.
That the things we live, are just re-lives of the past.
Time and time again we continue to tell ourselves,
that we will break this stupid cycle,
and the things that hurt us so bad in the past
Can't continue to hurt us.
We convince ourselves that we are stronger, better.
That all those things that made us break down in the past
won't ever make us break again.
Time and time again we continue to let ourselves down.
I guess that saying is true to state;
History repeats itself.

There was a time when I would think
that whatever was 'now'
would be there later.
I never imagined any different.
Perhaps I didn't want to.
Fearing the unknown is always stated as obvious.
Everyone does.
But whatever happened to not even caring the outcome.
It never crossed your mind, not mine.
I find myself now thinking down the line,
wondering what I'd do with all my stuff
that I gathered for a few more years.
Wondering where I'd turn to live,
to get away,
to gather my thoughts
and try to make myself stronger.
I wonder who I'd rely upon
to pick me back up after once again,
I'd given up all hope.

I see history repeating itself
and it scares me.
Minute by minute I wonder if it'll be the last
You see me.
Perhaps we hold onto so much,
of what hurt in the past
that we are afraid to think
it could get better than this.
And maybe it really doesn't.
I've seen my outcome of a few relationships...
you know the kind....
where you feel as though
You wouldn't be able to see the next day
if you didn't get to fall asleep next to them....
The kind that makes you sad to think
you'll never see that smile again,
the kind they don't give anyone else
because there's just something about YOU
that brings out the best of them.
What ever happens to that feeling.
To that love.

And perhaps,
that just dies.
But the love really never does.
We search and search for this thing called love,
we try to improve every minute
Once we find it.
We keep looking for something more and more.........
and more and more and more.
Maybe when we reach that certain point,
when you can't possibly love any more
you just grow comfortable
and you never even need to ask.
Because you just know,
it's still there.
Perhaps we push away the best things in life,
because we have greed, and we want more and more.
We just can't grow comfortable that
This is as good as it gets.
And we stand up with a vengence...
we take for granted the things we used to rant about.
And really it's not fair.
We are holding a barrier against a wonderful thing
because we are too weak to ever settle.
We continue the need to strive for something
because we will think we will die without an end.

I want to end this search i keep striving for
with a satisfied mind.

 

[neverwas]

I see history repeating itself
and it scares me.
Minute by minute I wonder if it'll be the last
You see me.
Perhaps we hold onto so much,
of what hurt in the past
that we are afraid to think
it could get better than this.
And maybe it really doesn't.
I've seen my outcome of a few relationships...
you know the kind....
where you feel as though
You wouldn't be able to see the next day
if you didn't get to fall asleep next to them....
The kind that makes you sad to think
you'll never see that smile again,
the kind they don't give anyone else
because there's just something about YOU
that brings out the best of them.
What ever happens to that feeling.
To that love.

i always love reading your work babe :D another good peice... i specailly like this bit above. *sighs* it made me cry and just sit here and reflect on things. *huge snuggles* very well done.

kel

 

[SnowFrog]

i love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
u have ur way with words that is so beautiful....
thank u again

B