It's funny,
hearing the same stories over and over,
and yet they never dwindle in the intensity
that crushes my heart,
every time i hear them...
even now, even 8 months later.
just when i thought i was ok,
a new stranger has a new story
about some guy that fucked around with all these girls...
while his poor fiancee sat at home,
not knowing.
and the room was filled with pity
"the poor girl"
and there i sat,
listening to them tell a story about ME,
and not even knowing it.
i was that poor girl.
but i didnt cry this time.
i didnt feel the heat of tears ready to rush down my cheeks
i didnt lose it.
like i usually do.
i just took it all in,
and my eyes were dry
as i stared blankly ahead.
emotionless
this is letting go of you, isn't it?
it took me 8 months,
8 long months
of begging you to give me that one little thing
that thing that could put my mind at ease
and put this all in the past once and for all...
closure.
but you couldnt give me that.
you had to keep something for yourself,
as always
at my expense.
i begged and begged for it...
and here, on this living room floor,
surrounded by these strangers
in my blue kikwears and a white fuzzy top
with "Cats and Dogs" on the tv
and a Smirnoff in my hand
still smelling faintly of raspberry candy
that i had been eating
with glitter nailpolish
and not wearing one of my rings today....
have i painted a clear enough picture?
cuz when i look back to this very moment,
the moment i got over you,
the moment i found closure,
i want to remember it all.
i have my answers.
i have my peace of mind.
i can go back to hating you,
without worrying if maybe,
just maybe...
you were the only one not lying.
i walk back upstairs
i close the door
the strangers keep on drinking and laughing
not knowing they have given me this thing
that i ached for, all these months.
i sit on the couch
and i dont know how to feel.
am i happy? satisfied? relieved?
sad... confused... scared... ?
i fell asleep next to danny.
and finally,
i didnt wish it was you.
he is everything you werent.
i woke up in his arms
and there is no such thing as october
there is only NOW.
tonight i have no regrets.
i bury you, and all the emotions you drudge up
at the sound of your name...
i bury you in a box of forgotten memories
which i will shove under my bed
with your stupid socks.
you cant hurt me anymore.
tonight...
i fall out of love you.
hearing the same stories over and over,
and yet they never dwindle in the intensity
that crushes my heart,
every time i hear them...
even now, even 8 months later.
just when i thought i was ok,
a new stranger has a new story
about some guy that fucked around with all these girls...
while his poor fiancee sat at home,
not knowing.
and the room was filled with pity
"the poor girl"
and there i sat,
listening to them tell a story about ME,
and not even knowing it.
i was that poor girl.
but i didnt cry this time.
i didnt feel the heat of tears ready to rush down my cheeks
i didnt lose it.
like i usually do.
i just took it all in,
and my eyes were dry
as i stared blankly ahead.
emotionless
this is letting go of you, isn't it?
it took me 8 months,
8 long months
of begging you to give me that one little thing
that thing that could put my mind at ease
and put this all in the past once and for all...
closure.
but you couldnt give me that.
you had to keep something for yourself,
as always
at my expense.
i begged and begged for it...
and here, on this living room floor,
surrounded by these strangers
in my blue kikwears and a white fuzzy top
with "Cats and Dogs" on the tv
and a Smirnoff in my hand
still smelling faintly of raspberry candy
that i had been eating
with glitter nailpolish
and not wearing one of my rings today....
have i painted a clear enough picture?
cuz when i look back to this very moment,
the moment i got over you,
the moment i found closure,
i want to remember it all.
i have my answers.
i have my peace of mind.
i can go back to hating you,
without worrying if maybe,
just maybe...
you were the only one not lying.
i walk back upstairs
i close the door
the strangers keep on drinking and laughing
not knowing they have given me this thing
that i ached for, all these months.
i sit on the couch
and i dont know how to feel.
am i happy? satisfied? relieved?
sad... confused... scared... ?
i fell asleep next to danny.
and finally,
i didnt wish it was you.
he is everything you werent.
i woke up in his arms
and there is no such thing as october
there is only NOW.
tonight i have no regrets.
i bury you, and all the emotions you drudge up
at the sound of your name...
i bury you in a box of forgotten memories
which i will shove under my bed
with your stupid socks.
you cant hurt me anymore.
tonight...
i fall out of love you.
