Mental Health Emotional issues

[Lost Ego]

After a few too many mdma trips, i managed to cripple my emotions by the time i was 17/18, i stopped and over the last 2 years i've slowly been recovering. I haven't fallen in love since then, i hardly ever feel euphoria, i haven't been satisfied or very happy since then, i've had rampant mood swings and anxiety issues, and what concerns me most is i very rarely experience love, it's as if i can only experience it for perhaps 20 minutes every 2 weeks or so, something is very wrong here. Has anyone here had similar problems with love? Has it gotten better? Is there any way to speed up the recovery? Will i ever feel the same again? Is life still worth living if you can't love; If you can't feel joy?

On the up side i hardly feel fear either

I'm not sure if the problem is that i either have a shortage of certain neurotransmitters or if my orbitofrontal cortex, what i experience emotions with, is fried... I know most neurotransmitters slowly come back (but never all the way, the balance of my brain will always be fucked) and if it's my orbitofrontal cortex, i know that neighboring neurons can be recruited to different tasks if that area of your brain is being used (but then again i dont think that portion of my brain could ever get back to the point where it used to be). Yes, i'm learning to cope with my flaws, that isn't what i need help with... I just wanna know if there is hope.

 

[Pagey]

Although I haven't experienced it myself, I do know of a few people who've gone through the same sort of emotional numbing due to MDMA. The good news is they've all recovered entirely, although it did take them a few years. I'll ask them if there's anything they did that helped speed up the process.
I understand it must be really difficult to live like that right now, but please just remember that it will get better, and hang on for that

 

[Lost Ego]

Thanks for the support pagey.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Life is a constant struggle. But it will get better. Inexperienced the same thin and still do with regards to my prior MDMA abuse. I feel now fear, no joy, no happiness and delusions. Maybe because sod all the other drugs I take too. But many recover. In FTC most do. Give it time and you'll Ben back to normal.

 

[Effuzion]

Life is a constant struggle. But it will get better. Inexperienced the same thin and still do with regards to my prior MDMA abuse. I feel now fear, no joy, no happiness and delusions. Maybe because sod all the other drugs I take too. But many recover. In FTC most do. Give it time and you'll Ben back to normal.

Spell check fail.

What other drugs are you doing? 2 years is a long time to be burnt out from MDMA unless you were popping pills constantly. It could be that you're doing other drugs that's making your recovery take longer.

 

[malakaix]

I dont think i could put it down to any one substance, but my emotions in the last couple of years have taken front seat and i find myself more or less at the mercy of them; i can have brief moments of clarity where i can step back and see the situation in a rational light. But it's so easy for me to become overwhelmed by my emotions that it makes functioning very difficult. It's been a year since i've used anything other then alcohol; but i can barley drink anymore because it has such a powerfully depressant effect on my emotions.

I guess i have the opposite situation to you, it's not so much better lol. I would suggest abstaining from everything and focusing on exercise.

 

[mrflowers00]

a good nights sleep helps everything

 

[Solitude_within]

Honestly, nobody here can tell you for certain if there's hope or not - your brain chemistry simply is, and you have to roll with that and take care of your body and mind as best as you can. I'll echo the previously mentioned tips of exercise and good sleep. A nutrient-rich diet is a good idea too!

Best of luck with your efforts.