Emotional baggage, regret, and shrooms=bad idea.

[chief ten beers]

I used to really enjoy psychedelics, especially shrooms, they opened me up and made me think of things I never pondered before. I had many spiritual experiences on them as well, many magical times were had. Ah but that was when I was young and not so scarred and jaded by life. Once you get to be middle aged and aren't too happy about where you find yourself in life, shrooms can be a very cruel accuser and give you a very serious beat down. Which happened to me recently, All I could think of was my failings and regrets and I just wanted to come down and have the usual egoic protection mechanisms back in place. That's the thing about shrooms, they really hold a magnifying glass up to your life and convict you for your failings. I read recently that Mckenna had a bad mushroom experience and even though he continued to promote them publicly, privately he swore them off for good. Well I think that's where I find myself now, I'll never do them again. One very disturbing detail I'll share that I experienced. I was thinking about death while on them, specifically suicide, and how I just wanted my suffering to end for good. Well I had this glimpse at something that was quite terrifying. I had this vision of this continuance of consciousness after death, as if I ended my life, but my consciousness continued and I found myself in a dark realm with these sort of predatory, almost voodoo like spirits, confronting me threateningly. It was as though I ended up in a vicious third world type prison and I was in their world now and I found myself in a completely in a foreign element and I was powerless. It was quite horrific, I don't know what happens after death but the thought that I could end up there was unsettling to say the least. Well I guess that ended my 30 year psychedelic career, I'm done forever, it's no longer fun or spiritual. Anyways I just thought I'd share, sure sucks to get old.8(

 

[CoastTwoCoast]

Wow. That sounds incredibly scary. I won't touch psychedelics because I've been depressed my whole life. You're right, when you get older, life isn't as simple anymore and your problems will be thrown in your face with these types of drugs. They warn you not to do shrooms if you suffer from depression or if your life isn't in a good place. I'm sorry you had an awful experience. Someone asked me about doing shrooms the other day and I said "Hell no." I already knew it would be a nightmare, like a horror movie.

 

[Crack'r]

I enjoyed them some when young as well. I also had a bad trip twice. Once because I got angry about something just as they were kicking in. Another because I ate some I didn't personally pick and verify. That and we went to watch "Con Air" in the theatre with the curtains on the wall that blow around from the AC which soon turned into a room collapsing on me. But I still did them after those times and had fun, but I gained a lot of respect.

When I was 23 I was diagnosed with a very rare blood disease and told 80% of people die in the first year. That was almost 14 years ago and I've been essentially disabled and in and out of hospitals and Dr offices since. After that I knew I would never touch them again. You just can't have that negativity in your life because your mind will eventually go there.

But I'm ok with it. At least I got to experience them and learn from them, including learning to respect them and understanding I wouldn't be able to handle them anymore.

Getting older and realizing you aren't really bullet proof does indeed suck.

 

[Cdkman]

once u experience the mind bending properties of shrooms when u are young it comes a time for most that their psyche just can't handle that ego shattering trip..I know I swore them off enless the perfect situation comes up..mostly being locked in a cabin with a cool, down to experiment and connect woman/women :D .of course miles away from civilization so no one hears the screams ..of me goin insane for a few hours and if I can perform on the comedown

 

[Moreaux]

That is unfortunate. I did shrooms a handful of times in my youth (very hard to come by) and it was always a very peaceful experience. Thank you for sharing your experience as I've always thought I would jump at the opportunity should it ever arise, but now in not certain that would be a good idea. I am sorry you went through that and no longer feel comfortable using them, I hate when trying something as an older person and it's no longer compatible, makes life a little greyer and my options fewer.

 

[stillkickin]

Wow, that's a rough experience. The last time I did them was about 6-8 months ago. Was a good experience, but it's soooo much different than when I did them in my teens about 15 years ago. Life can definitely affect how they take hold of you, good or bad.

I still think I'll do them again, but only if the setting is just right.

 

[Muzda Jonxx]

I've always found shroom trips the hardest to control. The one truly BAD trip I ever had was on shrooms, that time I ended up hiding under my beanbag, staring intently at the sky for 5 hours repeating the mantra 'if the sky looks like the sky then I'm NOT mad'. Happy times.

Acid and mesc never gave me the same problem, for some reason. And up until very recently I shared your idea that hallucinogens are a kids game, before life saddles you with baggage.

Recently though, I've rediscovered my love affair with acid, and its been nothing but good times. This I attribute to three things.

1. I keep my doses fairly small. I'm not that interested in disappearing down the rabbit hole completely anymore.

2. I only trip once or twice a year.

3. (this is the most important) I don't think it's about 'life baggage' so much as 'baggage at that point in life'. Hallucinogens are magnifying glasses on the soul, so taking them at a time when your soul is weighed is never a good idea. I've got to a place where I'm content for the first time in about 20 years, so the acid treats me kindly. Or I treat myself kindly, more accurately.

My long winded point is don't give up on the shrooms, just shelve them for another day when life is rosier.

 

[Burnt Offerings]

Psilocybin changed my life (for the better).

I don't think that there's any hard and fast rules regarding use. It's entirely individual-dependent. I took psilocybin while severely depressed and it helped tremendously.

 

[morphine-dreams]

My first shroom trip ever was similar to yours, I thought I lost my mind, I had undiagnosed PTSD at the time, was under extreme stress, and terrible setting. It was the worst trip of my life, saw my ego split into separate lives which were basically all of my worst existential fears, and it really felt like I'd lived all of those lives. Then it turned into not only my own potential lives, but people in general. It was like a repetitive thought loop about why horrible things happen and if there's any fairness in the universe. It's hard to explain in a way that makes any sense. It was like my entire life was an illusion and I woke up in hell, and then my old reality literally fell apart and I couldn't find it again, because it was never real to begin with. I completely forgot who I was at one point, first I was just a human, and then I was just a being. At the peak, my ego dissolved entirely and everything just...was.

It turned out to be quite possibly the best thing I'd ever done. It was the catalyst in overcoming PTSD, I needed to shatter my ego to be able to see my problems clearly and feel my own emotions. It was like psychological shock treatment, but it worked. When I came back to, it felt like my psyche had been rebooted.

That being said, I don't do shrooms much anymore. I don't need to shatter my mind to that extent right now. I love LSD though, especially at high doses. High dose acid trips are a walk in the park compared to mind shattering shroom trips.

 

[Muzda Jonxx]

It's funny how even bad trips tend to evoke a positive response from the person who experienced it in the long run. Although - the only positive I got from my bad shroom experience was when I came out the other side to find out that, in fact, the sky hadn't fallen and the universe probably hadn't unravelled as I thought it had.

 

[fender1969]

I quit doing lsd for the same reason