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Mental Health embarrassing memories trauma

DOB

DOB

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Nov 18, 2007
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can I have one reply pls?
hey sup dawgz,I made alot mistakes and fails in my life,I was biggest idiot for long time,but there are certain memories that return nearly everyday and are so embarrassing that it hurts,makes me cringe and facepalm,I even slap or hit my head and talk to myself that I am dickhead

my first and only gf,who is to this day most attractive girl I ever saw in real world,break up with me after I acted like idiot when we went together on acid trip,I replay these moments for years and hate myself how could I be so dumb,I regret it so much,really liked and still care about her,its been like 5 years ago

there are many social fails like this,it hurts and its concern how freqently I remember this shit,its like curse
 
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You're obsessing over your past bad actions. I do this too. You have to convince yourself that these are gone, and that you should focus on your future instead of obsessing over the past. Learn from your mistakes, and don't make the same ones again. You can do nothing about your past, you can just learn from it to prepare for a better future. Good luck
 
^Interesting article.

DOB, I have a friend that is a stand-up comic. She agreed months ago to do improv in a show that has the theme of "most embarrassing moment" and it's getting closer and closer to the show and she still has no idea what she is going to talk about. We realized when talking it over that it isn't that she lacks embarrassing experiences, she just lacks the embarrassment gene--to her it is all funny. Oh, that we could all be like that...

Seriously though, you can't let it traumatize you over and over. Have you ever told her how embarrassing it still is to you? Maybe that would help.
 
I used to obsess over over fails like that too, Sometimes they come back but not as bad. I'd cringe, call myself down and shake my head .

But then whenever i'd think of that one time or what i said or didnt say, i'd think i wonder if anyone else thinks about it as much as i do. Probably not, It started not to bother me as much.

That's just my experience though.
Hope this helps dude.​
 
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This is my whole life. I don't think I store anything but traumatic memories. It's seriously fucking debilitating and, no, I dont have solution to suggest to the OP
 
In these sort of situations, I would suggest that extreme rationality and use of intellect is the only way to negate these past events' power over your present day life. You absolutely cannot change the past but bear in mind, there is no ledger out there wherein shameful moments are recorded. The past doesn't actually exist so hanging onto it is a form of self-delusion. Worrying about the past is futile because it can't be altered; this can be a liberating notion. If worrying about the past was effective in changing it, then worrying in itself would be pointless. As it stands, the past is done with. Embarassing experiences are really only acute and traumatic for the individual in the centre of it; those peripheral witnesses will barely recall what it was that happened. Try and move on from this- you need to desire that though.
 
Meh, I've been there done that.. Just don't self medicate yourself to forget or try not to remember the past moments like I did, god dammit I'd smoke Soooooooo much weed on the daily basis and then add in some opiates meth and quite frequently then addiction this rehabilitation that detox this YadaYada struggle blah blah and then BAM! Now I'm left with no emotions and what not :( all because I wanted to escape the past memories and what not.

My honest advice is to change your outlook towards it, be a better person be cool and stuff, almost like being a whole different person but not exactly.. If you know what I mean you'd know what I mean XD you can change the future :)
 
Willow - I can totally get that on an intellectual level but in practice I can't control my thoughts :(
 
Have you tried therapy OP? bit_pattern?
I myself hate therapy but it's something that can really make a difference.
 
We all have embarrassing memories. It's only when you can't stop obsessing over them that they become a problem.
 
The best you can really do is surround yourself with people who would make an effort to laugh at them all with you and not laugh at you for them. This is where dark-humour comes into use. I am much more prone to embarrassment if I feel like people around me would laugh at me or look down on me upon finding things out.
 
I think we all have memories of trauma.

I've replayed moments in my head over and over after breaking up with perhaps the most incredible girl i've ever been with, and this was two years ago. It bothers me so much because in my mind.. that was the peak of my life, the last echelon of happiness before descending into despair. However over time i've begun to look at it from a more rational perspective and treat it as a learning experience in order to pick myself back up and move on.. rather then cementing it as an emotional trauma to plague me for the end of my days.

This is the only way to move forward and let go of the past.
 
Your imagination can be very very cruel to you. I have PTSD, and the cringe problem as well. Occasionally it happens when I'm randomly remembering something, and I get a terrible cringe feeling. I have to concentrate on both controlling my thought-drift, and taking a "who cares!? it's the past" attitude.
 
I hate the cringe feeling like a lock up. Almost like a panic attack... Also PTSD here :)
The worst thing for me is to randomly think of it at work or somewhere public. Or even mid conversation and instantly be detached into that moment. Feel the tightness cringe. Then I hear the voices in my head start judging me until I just can't take it anymore O.o
First thing I do is focus on breathing. Try and repeat in my head 10times something else I would rather be thinking about and get my head on that. and then let myself relax eventually until I dont even think of it.
 
^
Yeah, PTSD sucks. Once it sets in (mine used to last 10-20 minutes) all you can do is wait it out, like a bad trip. But thankfully I was prescribed Klonopin and haven't had one in some time. Although I also attribute the lack of attacks to what Corazon said; "I have to focus on thought-drift and "who cares". This has been important for sometime.
 
Wow this thread is awesome.


I never knew this was that big of a problem for others. Thought it was just my self....


I have SO many embarassing memories as well. Mostly due to all the xanax and coke. You already know what that leads too. A dude that thinks he's super man and blacked out from all the coke and xanax.

obviously talking stupid shit and doing stupid shit. Like writing long paragraphs to girls to hang out on facebook. Only to realize how creepy and stupid that shit was to girls you barely know! Only to realize during the short time frame where I'm sober and see the messages om facebook then the cycle begins again.


Oh and all the crazy shit I'd write on face book status as well. Blatantly admitting and bragging my hard drug use.

Also writing stupid long love status on facebook for an ex gf that I grew to hate and despise because of how shitty she's treated me after all the lovey dovey phase. Treated me like total shit but it was a real tough situation and trying to dump her failed many times.

Was known as a macho meat head so you could imagine how this probably made me look really weak. Just bothers me it was for a total whore who probably cheated on me so many times. Including the one I caught her with because some kid told me right before we finally broke up.

She also treated me like total shit in front of others that looked up to me and was even younger by a lot. Obviously caused tons of drama about me when we'd get in to fights.

just really ruined my reputation :(

Now I barely use facebook even though I'm mostly sober now.

I hated horrible embarrassing memories as I get that cringe and face palm too. It's gotten better but it still gets me here and there.



is this considered true PTSD?
 
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Shrooms00087 said:
^
Yeah, PTSD sucks. Once it sets in (mine used to last 10-20 minutes) all you can do is wait it out, like a bad trip. But thankfully I was prescribed Klonopin and haven't had one in some time. Although I also attribute the lack of attacks to what Corazon said; "I have to focus on thought-drift and "who cares". This has been important for sometime.
Click to expand...

Really does it work? I'd imagine if I had a script for them as soon as I feel it I would chew one up. Ive thought about talking to my doctor about putting me on them but I would never take them everyday
 
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