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Embarrassed After Dorm Room Overdose

PsychonautRyan

PsychonautRyan

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 4, 2012
Messages
121
Location
Kansas City
Okay, so this Monday, I ended up taking a Xanax bar around 8 pm to help me sleep, from that point on, things backfired a bit: I swear I fell asleep at 9 pm, I only had two beers beforehand, but my roommate recalls me drinking beer and Jack Daniel's at 10:30 pm, then the neighbor from the hall says I was wondering around the hallway in the morning asking for a bottle opener, then at 8 am, my roommate says that I was fumbling through my desk drawers and backpack saying that I lost my stash of Xanax. On top of that, the following day, one of my dormmates says he found my iPhone in the pantry downstairs. My dorm neighbor and my roommate both filed Incident Reports with Brody, the Dorm Proctor, who then filed an inquiry request with Dan, the Housing Supervisor. Thankfully, he was a bit naive, when he was reading over the reports, he was like "so what are Xanax bars exactly?", and I lied and said it was an antidepressant, but he still had me guilty as charged on drinking in the dorms. After the meeting, he made me clean up all the bottles in my dorm, empty them out in the sink, and then put them in a garbage bag and toss them in the dumpster, which a few of my dormmates saw. On top of that, I've misplaced the Xanax, who knows where it could be, and I haven't talked to my roommate (Alex) in two days, I honestly think he's avoiding me out of embarrassment, but I sent Alex, Brody and Eulan (the dorm neighbor) apologies for disturbing the dorm that day. Last but not least, Dan says he hasn't decided on sanctions for me, but he's leaning towards mandatory meetings with an Alcohol Education Counselor and a reflection paper on the incident, but he's at least said that in a week "some other crazy incident will come to my attention in my office", and everybody will forget it by then. There are fifty guys in my dorm, so I'd imagine this is a pretty interesting piece of gossip at dinnertime, and basically, I'm ashamed to leave my dorm room, it seems that the guys that I had run into in the hall are a bit awkward to talk to since the incident. I have no idea how idea how to handle this, and honestly, I feel like this is going to be a common story on the dorm for a while to come.
 
Don't be embarrassed. A lot of people who you live with in the college or university dorms will get caught drinking, or using drugs.

Yes people will forget about it soon since when you're in college or at a university everyone is so busy taking classes.

Xanax or any other benzo when taken in a high dose on its own or in combination with alcohol makes people black out. It could have been worse.

I know people who take Xanax or another benzo before plane flights because they don't like flying and they've blacked out while flying just from having your standard mixed drink or 1-2 shots of liquor and ice.
 
I bet you blacked out from the first bar and ate the rest of your stash. As far as being emberassed fuck em you haven't really do e anything to be emberassed about IMO. Unless you go to a Christian college or something.
 
you'l forget about it in a few weeks, i wouldn't stress

try chamomile next time you need to sleep :d

at least you have a strong connection in your head that alcohol and benzo's is bad news, thats a worthwhile lesson to learn
 
Stay away from anything that gives you blackouts. There is no more helpless feeling than to find out that you were not even conscious of your behavior. You are forever wondering what you might have said or done. That happened to me once on a long flight from taking only one Ambien. I ended up on the opposite side of the plane in the morning with no idea at all of anything that had occurred in the night. I'll never touch that sleep aid again!

The best thing you can do for any embarrassing situation is what you have already done--apologize. Now comes the hard part--you have to summon up the confidence to move on. I find that it is easier when you face it fully. If your roommate is avoiding you try to have a brief private talk with him. Explain that you took the benzos for sleep but that they can have that effect on people and that you won't repeat what happened. Let him know that you are pretty mortified and that you would just like to move on. Ask him if he can do that as well.

Best thing to remember is that you are in college and that you will certainly not be the first or last to have an embarrassing situation like this. Things like this end up making you a more empathetic person. When someone else has an experience like this you can be the first to reach out and say, "Hey man, no big deal. We were worried but glad you are OK".

P.S. I think relying on benzos for sleep is a very slippery slope. There are much safer alternatives. Look into sleep hygiene, calming teas and valerian; and if you have all those bases covered and still have insomnia then having a strong hit of pot right before sleep would be safer than developing a benzo habit.
 
Yeah, it's two and a half weeks later, and I've moved on, I really doubt it's in anybody else memory either. Today though, my therapist said "I'm surprised how much you've minimized this blackout incident, you could have died. She said it in a really neutral, off-hand tone, but the reality of it hit me like a thunderbolt, but then she's like "but yeah, I guess at you're age, your not conscious of your mortality", no kidding.
 
crimsonjunk said:
I bet you blacked out from the first bar and ate the rest of your stash. As far as being emberassed fuck em you haven't really do e anything to be emberassed about IMO. Unless you go to a Christian college or something.
Click to expand...

10 mg of Xanax = roughly 200 mg of Valium? Throw in alcohol, and wouldn't I be dead or in a coma right now. But then again, I probably shouldn't dwell on these things.
 
Not nessacarily especially if you use benzos even occasionally. The variance between people is huge, dependent on weight/stature, natural tolerance, and your individual tolerance. A therapist who doesn't know much about you pharmacology would say that sort of thing. I wouldn't take it lightly or attempt it again but I also wouldn't be thinking your extremely lucky to be alive or anything. For all you know as well you may have just lost the majority and only a few. Ethanol and even low doses is a recipe for disaster for near everyone.
 
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