Embarassing sex stories...

I was going down on my ex and she farted right before she was about to come - She got so self conscious and embarrassed that she started crying which made her even more upset because I hadn't gotten off yet and now she didn't feel like sex and thought i was going to get pissed at her for giving me blue balls (which i didn't....)

I woulda just laughed it off but apparently it was a huge embarrassment for her. Comforted her for a bit, convinced her i wasn't mad and we went to sleep. Finished what we had started the next morning.
 
BBBJ then getting some bad white crap coming out of dick and was stinging, got checked out hospital they said it was herpes, took their meds didn't go away.
Went to a sexual health clinic the woman who checked me out was sorta nice lookin so had to think different thoughts when she was checkin me out but didn't work so it was slowly rising, maybe half semi ha, then says no your all fine you have a healthy looking penis..The swab she put in there farrrrkin KILLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Did you stick something in there, because some people do that"
Fuck! does anyone on here stick stuff inside their dick?
 
I had sex with my friends sister and it wouldn't fit for the longest time we just sat there laughing because we were good friends who hooked up every once and awhile. It finally fit lol
 
Ez-goin said:
This isn't my story, but I thought it was pretty funny . . .
My friend's gf's parents went away for the weekend so they decided to get a little freaky deaky in the living room. They sex eventually moved to anal and they were really getting into it when the front door opened and her parents walked in the house.
My friend jumped up and ran out the back door but as he did he pulled out so fast that his gf ended up crappin on the floor. You could imagine her parent's reaction upon walkin in to the room and seein their daughter on all fours, neckid, with a pile of shit between her legs. LOL!
Needless to say, by friend was never allowed to see that girl again.
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I had to bring this post back from the dead. Oh man that's priceless! I laughed so hard.
 
At 16 my boyfriend was uncircumsized
We were having sex and I kept queefing
his friend was sitting next to me
SO embarrassing
My dirty underwear were in his basement ceiling for 4 years last time I saw him he told me (7 years ago)
 
Not really sure where to start with mine.. Some are more funny/weird tbh, or embarrassing for the girl..

Nodded off once while getting head on gbl, k and pharms, then woken up and fucked her then fell asleep stood up naked lol

This birds 10yr old lad coming in the room without knocking while I had her tied up and was throat fucking her, that was pretty bad (for them, that poor kid man, i bet hes never looked at his mum the same)

Had a girl puke on my balls during deepthroat, she trooped on though, grabbed her t-shirt and wiped it up real quick and went back at it haha

Not being to get it up due to drugs countless times is embarrassing, but as long as they understand its the drugs and not them, and your tounge/finger combo game is on point, you make them cum a few times then you sleep it off and dick them first thing in the morning, its usually forgotten about haha

A little poo nugget fell out of this girls ass after i gave her anal, not sure why but i instantly covered it up with this little pillow she had on the bed, I think to save her embarrassment. Went to wash my dick and she had grabbed the pillow and was using it (poo side down) i had to tell her, she cried, lol

Probably loads more but thats all i can think of off the top of my head
 
When I was 19 I was getting with this girl I'd known for a while through other friends. We go out one night and get a bit messed up before going back to my place. She's sat/laid with her legs over the side of the bed while I go down on her. All is good and normal until I start to finger her. I focus my eyes and notice bucket loads of white creamy discharge flowing down my wrist and arm from her fanny. I knew she wasnt the kind of girl to take this kind of thing in her stride, so to save her from embarrassment I covertly grab a towel from next to my bed and removed the evidence as well as I could before making up an excuse about having a migraine so we could stop and I could go to the bathroom lol. When I got back she said she was going to go if I wasn't feeling well, and we never hooked up again. I don't embarrass easily and I know its nothing to be ashamed of really, but even I was embarrassed for her.
 
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kaosisallwesee said:
When I was 19 I was getting with this girl I'd known for a while through other friends. We go out one night and get a bit messed up before going back to my place. She's sat/laid with her legs over the side of the bed while I go down on her. All is good and normal until I start to finger her. I focus my eyes and notice bucket loads of white creamy discharge flowing down my wrist and arm from her fanny. I knew she wasnt the kind of girl to take this kind of thing in her stride, so to save her from embarrassment I covertly grab a towel from next to my bed and removed the evidence as well as I could before making up an excuse about having a migraine so we could stop and I could go to the bathroom lol. When I got back she said she was going to go if I wasn't feeling well, and we never hooked up again. I don't embarrass easily and I know its nothing to be ashamed of really, but even I was embarrassed for her.
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The main question is, did the discharge smell?
 
My first handjob, the girl mashed it. (Think of always sunny in philly - gail the snail)

She also left a CRUSTATION of saliva on my face from sloppy make out.

I cheated on her with a chicka 3 years older. In a tree. In front of her friends.

I called her telling her i cheated and broke up with her. The next day in school she tried to slap me. I blocked it. I was like 12 i think.
 
Let me just say ... in a room lit by a single candle (across the room), when you & your chosen are deeply loaded, when anal sex is about to happen, DO NOT place the lube next to the vicks vapo-rub. Just don't do it. Trust me on this. The relationship may survive, but the night, my friend, has ended, noisily, with much recriminations & well-earned guilt. Treat the cold tomorrow. Treat the singed self-respect over time. Treat the woman very, very nicely for a good-ass long time.
 
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