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TDS Eliminating Guilt and self-defeatist attitudes.

Ozekat

Ozekat

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 13, 2009
Messages
283
Location
Kentucky
Guilt is a total waste of time. I have gone through a long process of unravelling what truly drives my guilt and I can say without hesitation that it is NOT my drug addictions, it is not someone else. It is me here right now.

So from now on I say with an impact Fuck You to guilt and all its associations and if someone out there is making you feel guilty about your life or what drugs you use or do, they are misguided at best and actually usually complete arrogant assholes in general.

I will never give in to this horrible vortex, this black hole, this utter darkness that is Guilt.

Life is way too short to constantly be trying to pile self-made accusations on top of others.....I realize those who are mindful usually suffer the worst guilt, well I am here to serve as a wake up call. If you're somewhat intelligent you should be able to see through this illusion.

All that said, yeah its good to be healthy too. :)

Please chime in if you have anything to add, any one at all!
 
I'm glad you brought this up because I've been guilt-ridden over a number of things. Mostly the years I spent abusing drugs. I had to pay the price for that and I came out of it. Only to replace the prescriptions with alcohol, definitely not healthy.

I blame myself for not being more vigilant with my son and his weed-smoking and deviant behavior. I know I did the best I could but with other people calling me "derelict" in my duties I let him go live with his dad. Hey if you can do such a better job, go for it. When he graduates high school, he can come back and live with me. But I really miss him a lot. Those nagging thoughts - should have done this or I could have tried that creep into my mind.

The worst one lately I attempted to call my mother's husband and I don't know what I was hoping to achieve besides have him send me some family pictures. He started talking shit, and saying "Your mom died from a broken heart, because of you girls" (referring to my sister and me) Then he started crying and hung up. I couldn't get a word in. But if I could today I would tell him to go fuck himself. He's the one who was abusive to her, made her move out in the middle of nowhere, isolating her from her family.

If she had stayed in the Ft Lauderdale area, she would have had better cancer treatment. Projecting his own guilt onto me, because he's a guilt-ridden douchebag. I'm really sick of people trying to make me feel shitty for things beyond my control. I'm living the best life I can and yes I've had challenges. I'm trying to move on the best way I know how. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.
 
Feelin guilt I've let my family relationships deteriorate through neglect; I'm working on that now.
Imo if you feel guilt, it means you've not become " hardened".
Although guilt can become self-feeding and overwhelming if left unchecked....
 
Guilt will fucking kill your soul. My mother commited suicide four years ago, and it's just been over this last year that I've let go of the guilt and dealt with her death in a somewhat healthy manner. I felt so responsible, and the rest of my screwed up family saw this and just laid it on me man. I don't speak to any of them, I stopped drinking, read a lot of self help books...

I can't say that I've made peace with the situation yet, but I've come a long way. Nothing good comes out of the "shoulda wouldas" You can't change the past, but you can change how you deal with it today. Don't beat yourself up, and god, don't use over it.
 
I literally threw my guilt out the window and drove, sailed, walked, and swam half way around the world. The thing is that we are humans and we make mistakes and even choose to make mistakes. We aren't gods so we need not hold ourselves to such spirit crushing standers. Also the steps of the fellowships do a really nice job with this one.

Forgive yourself for you and everyone else, Forgive everyone else for you. Confession and amends work real well for this sorta thing.
 
neversickanymore said:
I literally threw my guilt out the window and drove, sailed, walked, and swam half way around the world. The thing is that we are humans and we make mistakes and even choose to make mistakes. We aren't gods so we need not hold ourselves to such spirit crushing standers. Also the steps of the fellowships do a really nice job with this one.

Forgive yourself for you and everyone else, Forgive everyone else for you. Confession and amends work real well for this sorta thing.
Click to expand...

Great post NSA.

I think I am soon to follow in your footsteps of driving, sailing, walking, and swimming halfway around the world.
 
Thank you everyone for contributing to this thread. Go ahead and get it off your chests, it doesn't bother me. Its better to get it out there in the open, always.

And I'm ready to move forward. I may have been caught in a loop for awhile and I may have been a bit irresponsible and what not, but that is no reason to be consumed with guilt and let it drive me. Some guilt is natural and healthy, but the kind I have been dealing with is completely unwarranted. Its a trap, a lockup, stuck in one spot kind of guilt. And using because of guilt,....omg, that is just too many layers of fucked up right there. Makes no sense at all any way you slice it.

I hit up a gym tonight with a friend, someone who has been getting me out of the house.....gee, I sure am lucky to have friends like this.

I feel fucking fantastic, and could care less right now about getting high on anything. The trick has been to go on about my way and throw the guilt out the window as I'm going on about my way......keep moving forward, when the guilt shows its face tell it "Nuh-uh!" , "Hell no!" or "Fuck off!" and so on and so forth. :D And if I happen to use, not feel guilty about it. Its been working so far, shooting towards a generally more stable, sober and stress-free life.

Wow, best night I've had in a long time.
 
I'm so glad to hear that...you see a path and made a plan.
I wish you all the luck in the world...

Also thank you dm, I hope to god you never do go though that.
 
Completely agree. It's the antithesis of productivity. It pushes you into your self. I felt so bad and would cry and cry and cry over this shitty thing I did to someone. And I was trying to express how bad I felt for lying to someone and he said. Well shut up and stop crying about it and do something to make it right. Stop feeling bad for yourself. I was like Yeah, duh, why didn't I think about that. It's not about me anyway. I don't let myself feel guilty about anything anymore. I nip that emotion in the bud as soon as I feel it creeping on me.
 
I feel so guilty because I hit myself in the head with this hammer.. and so i'm going to fix this by hitting myself in the head with a hammer.. nuts.. nuts.. nuts... we are all amazing people that got swallowed up trying to have a Happy life.. yeah we fucked it good.. but really.. we were always amazing and good people.. and got caught in on hell of a mind trap.. forgive yourself<3=D<3
 
Thank you everyone for contributions, this thread has gotten a lot of responses in a short time so I guess its something we can all relate to and agree upon.

Throw all the guilt right out the window!!! And I feel just like Elkat13, nip that emotion in the bud as soon as it comes creeping around again......it sounds to me that there are plenty of conscientious people on these boards anyway, so if we are already more self aware than most we definitely don't need to guilt-trip ourselves.

And if someone throws guilt on me lately, I'm not having it......there is a difference between not taking responsiblity for ones actions, thats not what I'm talking about here, what I mean is when someone who is miserable tries to guilt trip me so they can bring me down and make themselves appear better in their own twisted ways. Fuck that.

Guilt free is the way to be, onward to bigger and happier things/people/places and emotions.
 
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