I've spoken about my best friend and I quite a lot in previous posts. Since I've been away from BL we've spent a lot of time together and he's come onto me a LOT. Things (not everything) happened between us a few weeks ago. Since then it's just been mixed messages and weekly arguments. I've tried to explain that I have feelings for him but he keeps burying his head in the sand. I lost it on Friday and said that I couldn't keep drinking and drugging with him (I want to quit and it just confuses things) and he was like "fair enough" so it looks like that's all he wants me for. He isn't over his ex even though I was there for him emotionally for the whole relationship... we're talking properly there for him, I had a better relationship with him than his girlfriend did. Now he just tries to make me feel guilty and only wanted to get high with me. I told him I needed some space. I miss him so much it hurts. I've not felt this way about anyone since my ex of four years ago and it's wrecking me. I'm so sorry to go on, I'm just going crazy, I love him and I know he's not ready but he and I have four years of "will they won't they" behind us. Hours before we argued we're talking about how to raise kids, and talking about taking my nieces and nephew out for the day. Then he tells me to leave him alone to live his life and grief for his "lost" ex. Who mentally and physically abused him. I feel like shit. I wish nothing had happened between us. I really do.
what happened, hon?
