Dont wanna read? Summary below.
It was the last day of school. I'm sitting in my english class, reading the erowid page for shrooms for the 100th time. I'm so siked--me and 3 of my friends have been looking forward to this all week. Isnt it awesome that I'm reading the erowid page for these shrooms when theres 3 eigths of DANK ass shrooms sitting right next to me in my backpack?? Yeah, it is pretty cool. My friends didnt eat lunch, it was all their first time doing shrooms and they didnt want to eat anything for fear of throwing up. I've done shrooms twice before, I knew i wasnt going to throw up, so I ate a small lunch. Anyway, 2:40 comes and we're the first ones out the door (quite a feat on the last day) and we head straight for E's car. We all hop in. I start taking out my shrooms...full eigth for me, half eigth for all the other dudes. 1+.5+.5+.5 . That makes 2.5/8. I had half an eigth left! Well eating a few extra caps would be no big deal right? Anyway, I'm really excited and im the first one to eat the shrooms, literally in the car before we leave school. I'd say i ended up eating a little more than 4gs. L also eats his half eigth with me in the car. Anyway, we get to the park were going to trip at. Everyone has eatin their shrooms, we brought towels to sit on, were all chillin. The trip comes on just like the other 2 times. I feel excited, a little nauseus, and things start looking different. As time goes on, I start to have the best visuals I've had! The trees were dancing for me! The grass looked like a forest when i was up close. A beetle flying around fascinates me. Anyway, to get to the point, we all take a walk around the park and see some pretty cool shit. We come back to sit down at the towel, and slowly i start getting this strange feeling. Everyones talking...except me. I'm sitting there, completely silent. In my head, I was questioning everything and anything, particularly things that are important to me! Like my relationship with my girlfriend, random shit about my parents, honestly none of it made sense or had any type of cause to it...at the time I had no idea, but I now know i was definitely going through ego death. Now, at this point i had never heard of the term 'ego death'. It wouldnt be until later that night that I'd read about ego death and discover what was happening to me. It was all the classic symptoms--i felt pretty alone, and just like nothing. But, at the same time I handled it very well. I was able to sit there, not get particularly upset, and I was sure that these feelings were only from the drugs. Honestly, it was a really bad experience for me, I felt like shit and basically decided I wasnt going to do shrooms again. Yet, looking back months later, I think I'm realizing that if I would have known about ego death, and what to expect, the experience wouldve been much different. It wasnt really that I couldnt handle this feeling, I think it was more that I wasnt expecting it and didnt know 'how' to feel about it. Does that make sense? Anyway, what do you guys think? Do you think that, if I had known about ego death at the time, it would have changed the experience? I'm now thinking about trying LSD and shrooms again maybe, and I'm pretty confident that if I went through the same type of loss-of-ego again, I would handle it differently and have a different experience with it altogether...rather than trying to question things, I would try to feel 'at one' with all the things around me. Lemme know what you think, and also if any of this makes sense to anyone else. lol. peace!
Summary: I went thru ego death without knowing what it was and had a bad time. I now know what it is, and I'm thinking if it ever happened again, I would handle it much differently and have a different experience. What do you think about this? Would it change my experience?
It was the last day of school. I'm sitting in my english class, reading the erowid page for shrooms for the 100th time. I'm so siked--me and 3 of my friends have been looking forward to this all week. Isnt it awesome that I'm reading the erowid page for these shrooms when theres 3 eigths of DANK ass shrooms sitting right next to me in my backpack?? Yeah, it is pretty cool. My friends didnt eat lunch, it was all their first time doing shrooms and they didnt want to eat anything for fear of throwing up. I've done shrooms twice before, I knew i wasnt going to throw up, so I ate a small lunch. Anyway, 2:40 comes and we're the first ones out the door (quite a feat on the last day) and we head straight for E's car. We all hop in. I start taking out my shrooms...full eigth for me, half eigth for all the other dudes. 1+.5+.5+.5 . That makes 2.5/8. I had half an eigth left! Well eating a few extra caps would be no big deal right? Anyway, I'm really excited and im the first one to eat the shrooms, literally in the car before we leave school. I'd say i ended up eating a little more than 4gs. L also eats his half eigth with me in the car. Anyway, we get to the park were going to trip at. Everyone has eatin their shrooms, we brought towels to sit on, were all chillin. The trip comes on just like the other 2 times. I feel excited, a little nauseus, and things start looking different. As time goes on, I start to have the best visuals I've had! The trees were dancing for me! The grass looked like a forest when i was up close. A beetle flying around fascinates me. Anyway, to get to the point, we all take a walk around the park and see some pretty cool shit. We come back to sit down at the towel, and slowly i start getting this strange feeling. Everyones talking...except me. I'm sitting there, completely silent. In my head, I was questioning everything and anything, particularly things that are important to me! Like my relationship with my girlfriend, random shit about my parents, honestly none of it made sense or had any type of cause to it...at the time I had no idea, but I now know i was definitely going through ego death. Now, at this point i had never heard of the term 'ego death'. It wouldnt be until later that night that I'd read about ego death and discover what was happening to me. It was all the classic symptoms--i felt pretty alone, and just like nothing. But, at the same time I handled it very well. I was able to sit there, not get particularly upset, and I was sure that these feelings were only from the drugs. Honestly, it was a really bad experience for me, I felt like shit and basically decided I wasnt going to do shrooms again. Yet, looking back months later, I think I'm realizing that if I would have known about ego death, and what to expect, the experience wouldve been much different. It wasnt really that I couldnt handle this feeling, I think it was more that I wasnt expecting it and didnt know 'how' to feel about it. Does that make sense? Anyway, what do you guys think? Do you think that, if I had known about ego death at the time, it would have changed the experience? I'm now thinking about trying LSD and shrooms again maybe, and I'm pretty confident that if I went through the same type of loss-of-ego again, I would handle it differently and have a different experience with it altogether...rather than trying to question things, I would try to feel 'at one' with all the things around me. Lemme know what you think, and also if any of this makes sense to anyone else. lol. peace!
Summary: I went thru ego death without knowing what it was and had a bad time. I now know what it is, and I'm thinking if it ever happened again, I would handle it much differently and have a different experience. What do you think about this? Would it change my experience?
