-effortlessly-

[Nietzche]

One night
he will rise,
likely alone,
from clandestine dreams.

One night
he will sigh,
likely at home,
bursting at his seams.

One night
he will try,
but likely has grown,
tired of reprised themes . . .

and
One night
he will cry,
but will not abscond,
nor fear being seen.

-------------------------------------------

- The reasons why
you fled to the fields
and lived for eight days –
an anonym, a no one, a survivor –
are no secret to me -

--------------------------------------------

But in the dreams of that night,
In the midst of her flight,
Apparently, out of reach
from the other’s sight . . .

He will stir.
“Be calm,”
he will think to himself,
“be still.”

And from the depths of that night,
From the distance of her flight,
From the absence of their sight,
The words he will use
To rewrite the world he inhabits
Will fall
-effortlessly-
into place.

He is calm;

still

and absolutly determined.


April 03 - July 03
Edit: Aug. 8, 2003

 

[loafer]

yeah.
that's just what i needed.
everytime a tipping point. thanks.

 

[Dastrix Slogan]

This hits home! Incedible work!!!!!!!!

 

[justsomeguy]

 

[cherub]

liked this one very much,,,,

i can relate too thanks

 

[ice-9]

For some reason, when i read this, the word "epic" came to my head. At the end you sort of take that huge feeling and subtly bring it down (in a good way).

Thanks for this!

 

[Dagny]

"One of these mornings
you're gonna rise,
rise up singing.
You're gonna spread your wings, child,
and take to the sky."

Your writing and this strike up the same feeling in me, yet where the one seems like late-afternoon sun on my face, your words are a lot closer to the sunrise itself. Wonderful.

 

[Raz]

- The reasons why
you fled to the fields
and lived for eight days –
an anonym, a no one, a survivor –
are no secret to me -

This part really spoke to me...it takes me out of the context of the rest of the piece and puts a bit of new light on it all..

Nice one!

--Raz--

 

[Nietzche]

^^^^^^^^^^
I am not sure to whom I should credit for that particular stanza, but it is not my own . . .

 

[katmeow]

God, that's a beautiful piece.

Loved it!

 

[Taliana]

That was a great piece... i really really like your style.

 

[up all night]

Brilliant.

 

[Nietzche]

In the course of a bitterly ironic, hellish week this little poem here has been on the forefront of my mind. It has been edited for clairty.

 

[silverwheel]

:D

Is this perhaps a dream of the superman? Really fucking good. Really good. This may be the most masterful thing I've seen from you. I don't remember enough from the first read to spot what your edits were, but the whole thing flows extremely well, like it was an organic, autonomous thing blooming from the pen.

You really need to start heading out to Jilly's on Wednesday nights for the open forums there.

 

[KHsweety03]

you told my story.

 

[up all night]

I wish this guy posted more... always, always impressive.

 

[harraser]

^i agree... and Nietzche i like it better when you dont use all the big words lol. i think this is one of your most wonderful pieces because, as its easy to read, its easier to feel. because im not having to go over every line twice to figure out what it means i find it a lot easier to get involved in the poem as a whole....

TOP WORK!!!

 

[Bel]

perfect.

 

[Bel]

Over the many years that I've spent lurking in this forum, this would have to be one of my favourites. Thank you.

 

[katmeow]

up all night, I can't believe you've just bumped 2 of my fave pieces from here today ... I was thinking about both these works recently... great minds!!

Nietzche - still beautiful - still in awe