Effigy.

[rewiiired]

She taunts me like a tease,
draws me in, carrying, hypnotizing
me like some invigorating melody,
tempting me away from the cyclone,
summoning me back
to the long lost
realm of simplicity,

just waiting for me
to reach out,
to commit to my submission,

yet still I hang on to my fire,
forever wound in my own webs,
trying to weave it all back together,
discipline the dance of inner flame.

So long I've yearned
to put this puzzle together;
she could be the wind to blow it all away --

or the light I need
in all my darkness, a place
of peace outside to reside
and vacate these internal battles
that never cease to rage.

Yet if I would drag another down,
I could never forgive myself;
if a distraction was complete,
I fear I'd lose myself;

if I let myself be lifted up high again
just to be dropped, would I
abandon strength and damn it all?

Though if it is fear that holds me back,
a will to weakness that keeps me here,
I am good as damned anyway.

And, yes, there is a void
to be filled with so many answers,
but another chasm here yawns for lack of oxygen,

and she?

She offers resuscitation,
but she could be poison.

I hunger for the truth inside,
yet thirst reveals itself before her,
and I find I would suddenly die
for just a lick what could be venom.

I must hold onto me
if I embrace her, I must remember
my own lyrics despite her melody,

as I inch to reach out, fall in,
hang on, drag out,
I scream for her not to sacrifice herself,
for I shall not go on
to burn myself in effigy.

 

[thujone]

Interesting read. Is the effigy like a shell that the narrator must give up to be with "her"?

 

[panic in paradise]

" I must hold onto me
if I embrace her, I must remember
my own lyrics despite her melody, "

i like this, well i liked it all, or felt it all rather...

although, i myself like to think of the Male as 'Rhythm' & the Female as 'Melody' -
you described the male- yourself as 'lyric', and very effectively.
assuming that rhythm is the drive, the ground, the sustenance; ~what creates your rhythm?

 

[rewiiired]

Panic in Paradise:

"The melody" was meant to indicate that she moves me, and "the lyrics" are my thoughts, which I fear might be sacrificed in any submission to that which she makes me feel.

The rhythm for me is meaning, which sounds vague, but that's because what gives me meaning is complex. It is inner strength and independence and freedom yet connection, bonding, being part of something greater than myself. It is truth, or knowledge, or greater understanding, but it is also happiness, satisfaction. The issue is that these seem, at least in my little universe, to be polar opposites.

thujone:

The way it often seems to me, people tend to sacrifice themselves in order to become "one" in a relationship and consider isolation as a disease and who they were as individuals as lesser than they are in being together. The lone individual is seen as an empty shell in comparison. I don't agree. I disagree passionately, as a matter of fact. It is as the single most ingenious book on Love (Shel Silverstein, The Missing Piece Meets the Big O) put the matter, in my interpretation: anything akin to "true love" must involve two individuals, not two people compensating for each other or trying to complete each other. So that's behind the whole "effigy" thing.

 

[panic in paradise]

these are principles- i have noticed to be what have been of the greatest, liberation in many senses for myself - as well.

i agree that- to pay higher-mind(f) is to receive deeper-knowledge(m), from these attributes i draw my thoughts;-) i agree also, that our +,- (how ever you'd like to imagine) accepted, begins the forward-motion into wholeness, or entirety.


" The rhythm for me is meaning, which sounds vague, but... "

- words only appear as vague as the meaning we are able to ascertain from them (as a reader specifically, for this includes all writers;-)


very moving-
a beautiful thing.

 

[Counterintuitive]

I enjoyed it. There is something subtle about this poem that constantly reminds me of Maynard's writing from Tool. Any chance you listen to the band?

 

[panic in paradise]

a "tool" is only a device of means...
~
... think of the means of the device.

 

[rewiiired]

Counterintuitive: I am indeed a fan. And though I find it flattering -- so long as the likeness is not considered plagiarism at any level (as if that is so, it certainly was not intentional) -- I am curious what it is in my writing that you find resonates with them...