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Ecstasy MEGA-Thread: Suicide Tuesdays!

It's a strange feeling in the head, sort of like that feeling when you're about to fall asleep and you suddenly feel like you're falling, except with an additional "electric" zap feeling. It lasts for on,y a fraction of a second usually but it makes you lose your equilibrium and basically it just feels really wrong and scary. At their worst I had them about every 10-20 seconds on average, sometimes less and sometimes one after the other almost right on top of each other.

They're kind of hard to explain.
 
AgentSquish said:
Its not for everybody :\
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There is a mechanism of action by which MDMA has been shown to cause neurotoxicity. It is a serotonin and dopamine releaser (most drugs are not releasers, they are simply agonists, which means they fit into receptors for one or more of the neurotransmitters. Releasers actually deplete your body's neurotransmitters). It releases serotonin and dopamine at about the same time, and the serotonin receptors attempt to reuptake the dopamine neurons, which causes physical damage to the serotonin system.

I'm not saying people shouldn't ever use it, but whenever I hear about people taking it regularly and/or abusing it, it makes my skin crawl. Most drugs do not actually cause much damage, especially short-term, but MDMA definitely can. Who even knows what the long-term ramifications of damaging/changing the serotonin system could be?
 
shit xorkoth - that sounds like an awful experience!
i definitely know wat u mean by the 'brain zaps' - interestingly enough i actually experienced them a few times while on E (same with SSRIs)
and yes, the neurotoxicity of MDMA is a scary thing cos ppl seem to take it quite light-heartedly - i hav a friend, alannah, who rolls evry weekend, and she goes thru up to 8 pills a night sometimes......shes bn doing this over the past yr and ive seen her go from being....well......normal.......to being frankly a bit silly-headed
her judgement seems completely impaired, even wen shes not rolling
however its interesting cos i know other ppl who use as often, as much and hav for as long as she has/does (i was one of those) who r seemingly unaffected
maybe some brains r just more susceptible to MDMA brain damage than others
i sure know now its a gamble :\
 
rickolasnice said:
Have had hundreds of MDMA experiences..
Have taken thousands of pills (well.. i guess around a thousand)

I now take 40mg citalopram for severe depression.
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Ditto.
 
Xorkoth said:
It's a strange feeling in the head, sort of like that feeling when you're about to fall asleep and you suddenly feel like you're falling, except with an additional "electric" zap feeling. It lasts for on,y a fraction of a second usually but it makes you lose your equilibrium and basically it just feels really wrong and scary. At their worst I had them about every 10-20 seconds on average, sometimes less and sometimes one after the other almost right on top of each other.

They're kind of hard to explain.
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i think i know what you mean.. like when you start to doze off, or day dream for a bit then you feel as though you've just dropped and BAM your back to reality?
we always used the expression 'pushed off a cliff', lol now compared to 'brain zaps' that just sounds stupid
 
I heavily abused E for about 3 or 4 months...I'm talking about, if you average the numbers of days I spent rolling vs. straight over that period, I was rolling every other day. In reality though, I had a lot of 3-5 day binges.

I never rolled at a rave though. We mostly just chilled in my friend's garage talking, took nature walks, played in the park by his house, etc. It was a lot of fun in the beginning.

Toward the end, however, the rolls were making my one friend feel shitty and my other friend decided to get sober and two others went back to school. On more than a few occassion, I would hang out with the friend who stopped taking them because he didn't feel good. He would do heroin and I would roll.

Nothing more depressing that feeling falsely good for hours--by yourself--while the person you are with is sleeping and no matter how many benzos or sleeping pills you take you just can't fall asleep. 5 am is a terribly lonely time in these scenarios.
 
So I've only had one use in over 4 yrs now (see top of page); hopin this might change soon tho.

I only ever overdid my use 'once' (over a 6-wk period .. Not a good substitute for Oxy addiction!!) .. Never had the brain-zaps, tho .. Prolly cos I never overdid my doses.
But as my days of controlled recreational drug use are long, long gone, it's going to be a hell of a battle if I do get stocked up.

But hey, we all need variety .. I'm (mostly unwillingly) off the greens, and trying my hardest to avoid alcohol for a long time; life's got me a bit down so a trip back to happier times should suit me right :D
 
for some reason i loathe mdma, and i've never even tried it...idk the idea of being so lovey dubby is just so fake and artificial to me to even be enjoyable.
 
psynirvana01 said:
for some reason i loathe mdma, and i've never even tried it...idk the idea of being so lovey dubby is just so fake and artificial to me to even be enjoyable.
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Yeah I can kinda see your point....but, to me though the happiness out of ecstasy is just crazy! :)
 
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I wonder if I'll ever be able to have E again (almost psychotic experience last time after I came down, it went on for two weeks or so)... I want to, though. I'd really love to have one last loved-up experience and then put it away forever, but I don't want to undo my mental-health progress. Has anyone else experienced similar and been able to do E again with little aftereffects?
 
^^ Oh man I know exactly what you mean hun! I've had so many wonderful experiences on E, so many amazing years of raving.

But now, I'm too hesitant to take E again because of the very real possibility/probability that my mental health will drastically decline on the comedown.

Not worth it in my opinion. We had our fun. On to a new chapter.

<3
 
wingnutlives said:
I wonder if I'll ever be able to have E again (almost psychotic experience last time after I came down, it went on for two weeks or so)... I want to, though. I'd really love to have one last loved-up experience and then put it away forever, but I don't want to undo my mental-health progress. Has anyone else experienced similar and been able to do E again with little aftereffects?
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I've had (amphetamine sulphate) psychosis, and when I did the same drug at a later date, the psychotic symptoms came back.
The depression on the non-using days really weakened my speed habit, so much it put me off buying it.
Depression is what puts me off doing E too often too.

I know amphet sulphate is a different drug, and I know all psychoses are different, but there is no doubt its a gamble.
Any chemical which alters your brain chemistry is a risk if you have an exsisting condition, or a propensity for psychotic episodes.
 
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