infectedmushroom
Bluelighter
I am writing this report in an attempt to explain my first experience with MDMA, which was sold in the form of Ecstasy. I was at first understandably hesitant to try E as it gains so much negative media attention for occasionally killing people; however, after ticking of my checklist (safe, tested pill, water, suitable clothing, and friends) I decided…hell, I’ll do it.
I planned on popping at an underage rave and there was much debate between myself and friends as to when and how much each of us would take. The pill was a green heart. There were seven of us; one drinking, the rest of us popping. After much arguing and thinking, we decided. I would take half, my other friend who im going to call T would take half, and the rest of our group would take a full pill. T and I decided half would be best as it was our first time and we wanted to err on the side of caution, especially as a rave could be an overwhelming place for a first timer. We decided to pop about 20 minutes before getting in.
THE NIGHT
“Down the hatch,” I said, and swallowed. It was a lot easier then I thought. I just put it in my mouth, and swallowed with a gulp of scotch. No thought, no hesitations. I wasn’t super excited, but I was anxious and expectant at the same time.
Time in line was spent being pushed by security towards the door and I just stood watching my friends, waiting to see who would “feel” effects first. Meanwhile, I didn’t feel anything. Not even a placebo, pre-high buzz. One friend who had popped about two hours before was peaking hard. I watched him for a little before simply asking, “How is it?” His wide, diluted eyes stared back. He uttered, softly, one word. “Good.” Good? I thought. Is that fucking it? “Are you peaking?” I asked. “Yes.” He said. Again only one quiet, softly spoken word came out of his mouth. I was shocked. He was as calm as could be, and the only way you could tell him apart from the rest of the crowd was his dinner plate sized pupils. I expected him to be running around, hugging people, talking to everyone, and generally having an awesome time. Needless to say, I was confused; but now even MORE intrigued at the same time at what was about to come.
Anyway, after getting inside without a worry or second glance from security, everyone in the group sauntered around for a little bit, getting to terms with the scene happening on the dance floor. It was fucking PACKED. I aimlessly followed the pack around for a little as they went about their minor business of finding a safe place to put bags and so on, and waited for any effects… nothing so far. Eventually we found our way into the ‘chill room,’ were chairs and sofas set up for everyone to relax on and take a break from the dancing. Remarkably, I didn’t feel like dancing at all; by now if I was drunk I would be up and dancing away like a complete moron. However, something here told me to sit; to be calm, and to be quiet. A strange thing I noticed was that on our entry to the chill room, suddenly, out of no where, my mood picked up slightly. Not like a rocket ship as I had been told it would be like; not the “extreme mood lift” associated with a quick accent to a marvellous peak, but just a little brightening of my mood.
We made our way over to a couple welcoming looking seats and chairs in the room and introduced ourselves to the people already in there and said hi to all the people we knew from school and the area. A lot of time was actually spent moving between the chill room, and the outside balcony to get water; a couple in our group began to peak shortly after entering the rave, which pissed me of greatly as I still didn’t feel anything at all. At one point I questioned if I had taken enough or if it was even going to work. Everyone around me was high, including T, which made me very jealous.
Being T’s first time also, I smiled at him to see how he was going, and asked the question. “How is it?” I asked. “Amazing,” he simply replied. That was it. “What the fuck do you mean amazing? Fuck man, give me some details! What is it like?!” I said this light heartedly of course and laughed, but he just started back and smiled, almost as if he was smiling to himself; like it was his secret discovery and he wasn’t allowed to tell me about it. And then, without warning, it hit me. Nothing in particular triggered the event; it just happened. Complete and utter happiness and satisfaction entered my mind and body. I just don’t know how to describe it; everything was just GOOD. I remember slowly sinking into the warm of the chair; I let my head fall to the side and sit there; it didn’t matter, no matter how silly I looked. What did? Everything, nothing…who cares? Good vibes throbbed through me; I decided it was time for high fives. Who knows why? Yeah, ill high five that random guy; sure buddy, you get a high five also. My thoughts stayed on one thing; how fucking good I felt. I can’t explain it almost; I can’t really put it into words. The rest of the night consisted of me sitting there, enjoying the feeling, giving people high fives, and reflecting in my own little world. I pondered various ideas in my head, and tossed around different thoughts. I realized how lucky I was to live the life I did in a nice, middle class upbringing with pretty much no worries or troubles compared to many people in our fucked up, often bleak world. I was filled with hope that maybe one day everyone could see the light like I did and realize that their life probably is not that bad. (At this time its worth mentioning a friend of mine gave me another quarter of this pill we were all on as he had spare and was feeling generous, increasing my dosage to about ¾ of a full green heart.)
At one point I jumped up to get some water, and after finishing it, found the orgasmic pleasure of CHEWING the plastic cup. Seriously, I chewed the fuck out of this plastic cup the whole night. It was so satisfying somehow. Even when I was leaving I had it in my mouth. The security guard told me to hand it over, and I remember asking him “what the fuck do I chew on now?” to which I was shot bad looks. Disappointingly, I had no desire to get up and dance, as briefly mentioned before. I had no desire to talk either. In fact, talking felt like more of a chore then something fun. I just loved enjoying the effects of the drug in my own little world. The odd smile to my friends to let them know I was alive was enough.
Near the end of the night, our pack thinned out. We had spent most of our time in the chill room, but (let’s call him J) who had been drinking had lost his buzz and just wanted to grab some subway and head home. Everyone else somehow disappeared somewhere and that left me and T. We decided to grab a cab home about half an hour before the event ended to avoid the masses and the rush. The cab ride was strange – I was definitely over the peak, but in no way depressed or feeling really shit as some people do. I was just chatting casually with the cab driver and T about nothing in particular, trivial, pointless things. I won’t go into a lot of more details on the night, as a lot more shit happened on this night which will take to much time for me to write and you to read. Basically I woke up the next day not feeling to shit after about 5 hours of sleep. My pupils were still diluted, no doubt from the methamphetamine present in the pills. I decided to go for a surf for some reason, in an attempt to slay the weird empty feeling I had. I wasn’t depressed, I just I felt a bit aimless. I spent about 20 minutes in the water and said fuck it because it was to cold, and went in. I was rung shortly after by a friend, and we ended up talking for about 50 minutes about various things and I NEVER talk to ANYONE for 50 minutes straight on a mobile phone. However, conversation was flowing and easy (again, probably the leftover meth.) Work that night (a 5 and a half hour shift) also flew by and was simple. I can see the addiction potential here in E for sure. About two days later everything felt back to normal.
Basically, I was amazed and disappointed at the same time by the whole journey. I told someone I know who is quite experienced with rolling about my trip and he basically told me that sometimes you get pills which completely smack you out and drag you into your own little world, and some which make you run around, hug people, dance, talk and so on. This ultimately annoyed me that I got a ‘smack out’ pill for a rave, as the whole point of raves is to run around, dance and hook up with random chicks.
Final Conclusion;
I’ll definitely be trying this again, with out a doubt, but probably in a different situation. I mean, I would positively love to get a speedy, loved up pill for the next rave but I don’t know if I want to take the risk. I think some beer would go down better. I believe MDMA is most likely better for bonding and talking with friends and loved ones in a more controlled, relaxed environment. Also, from this first experience I think I realize that the quality of the adventure is very much pill/dose dependant. Anyway, thank you for reading
- Infected
I planned on popping at an underage rave and there was much debate between myself and friends as to when and how much each of us would take. The pill was a green heart. There were seven of us; one drinking, the rest of us popping. After much arguing and thinking, we decided. I would take half, my other friend who im going to call T would take half, and the rest of our group would take a full pill. T and I decided half would be best as it was our first time and we wanted to err on the side of caution, especially as a rave could be an overwhelming place for a first timer. We decided to pop about 20 minutes before getting in.
THE NIGHT
“Down the hatch,” I said, and swallowed. It was a lot easier then I thought. I just put it in my mouth, and swallowed with a gulp of scotch. No thought, no hesitations. I wasn’t super excited, but I was anxious and expectant at the same time.
Time in line was spent being pushed by security towards the door and I just stood watching my friends, waiting to see who would “feel” effects first. Meanwhile, I didn’t feel anything. Not even a placebo, pre-high buzz. One friend who had popped about two hours before was peaking hard. I watched him for a little before simply asking, “How is it?” His wide, diluted eyes stared back. He uttered, softly, one word. “Good.” Good? I thought. Is that fucking it? “Are you peaking?” I asked. “Yes.” He said. Again only one quiet, softly spoken word came out of his mouth. I was shocked. He was as calm as could be, and the only way you could tell him apart from the rest of the crowd was his dinner plate sized pupils. I expected him to be running around, hugging people, talking to everyone, and generally having an awesome time. Needless to say, I was confused; but now even MORE intrigued at the same time at what was about to come.
Anyway, after getting inside without a worry or second glance from security, everyone in the group sauntered around for a little bit, getting to terms with the scene happening on the dance floor. It was fucking PACKED. I aimlessly followed the pack around for a little as they went about their minor business of finding a safe place to put bags and so on, and waited for any effects… nothing so far. Eventually we found our way into the ‘chill room,’ were chairs and sofas set up for everyone to relax on and take a break from the dancing. Remarkably, I didn’t feel like dancing at all; by now if I was drunk I would be up and dancing away like a complete moron. However, something here told me to sit; to be calm, and to be quiet. A strange thing I noticed was that on our entry to the chill room, suddenly, out of no where, my mood picked up slightly. Not like a rocket ship as I had been told it would be like; not the “extreme mood lift” associated with a quick accent to a marvellous peak, but just a little brightening of my mood.
We made our way over to a couple welcoming looking seats and chairs in the room and introduced ourselves to the people already in there and said hi to all the people we knew from school and the area. A lot of time was actually spent moving between the chill room, and the outside balcony to get water; a couple in our group began to peak shortly after entering the rave, which pissed me of greatly as I still didn’t feel anything at all. At one point I questioned if I had taken enough or if it was even going to work. Everyone around me was high, including T, which made me very jealous.
Being T’s first time also, I smiled at him to see how he was going, and asked the question. “How is it?” I asked. “Amazing,” he simply replied. That was it. “What the fuck do you mean amazing? Fuck man, give me some details! What is it like?!” I said this light heartedly of course and laughed, but he just started back and smiled, almost as if he was smiling to himself; like it was his secret discovery and he wasn’t allowed to tell me about it. And then, without warning, it hit me. Nothing in particular triggered the event; it just happened. Complete and utter happiness and satisfaction entered my mind and body. I just don’t know how to describe it; everything was just GOOD. I remember slowly sinking into the warm of the chair; I let my head fall to the side and sit there; it didn’t matter, no matter how silly I looked. What did? Everything, nothing…who cares? Good vibes throbbed through me; I decided it was time for high fives. Who knows why? Yeah, ill high five that random guy; sure buddy, you get a high five also. My thoughts stayed on one thing; how fucking good I felt. I can’t explain it almost; I can’t really put it into words. The rest of the night consisted of me sitting there, enjoying the feeling, giving people high fives, and reflecting in my own little world. I pondered various ideas in my head, and tossed around different thoughts. I realized how lucky I was to live the life I did in a nice, middle class upbringing with pretty much no worries or troubles compared to many people in our fucked up, often bleak world. I was filled with hope that maybe one day everyone could see the light like I did and realize that their life probably is not that bad. (At this time its worth mentioning a friend of mine gave me another quarter of this pill we were all on as he had spare and was feeling generous, increasing my dosage to about ¾ of a full green heart.)
At one point I jumped up to get some water, and after finishing it, found the orgasmic pleasure of CHEWING the plastic cup. Seriously, I chewed the fuck out of this plastic cup the whole night. It was so satisfying somehow. Even when I was leaving I had it in my mouth. The security guard told me to hand it over, and I remember asking him “what the fuck do I chew on now?” to which I was shot bad looks. Disappointingly, I had no desire to get up and dance, as briefly mentioned before. I had no desire to talk either. In fact, talking felt like more of a chore then something fun. I just loved enjoying the effects of the drug in my own little world. The odd smile to my friends to let them know I was alive was enough.
Near the end of the night, our pack thinned out. We had spent most of our time in the chill room, but (let’s call him J) who had been drinking had lost his buzz and just wanted to grab some subway and head home. Everyone else somehow disappeared somewhere and that left me and T. We decided to grab a cab home about half an hour before the event ended to avoid the masses and the rush. The cab ride was strange – I was definitely over the peak, but in no way depressed or feeling really shit as some people do. I was just chatting casually with the cab driver and T about nothing in particular, trivial, pointless things. I won’t go into a lot of more details on the night, as a lot more shit happened on this night which will take to much time for me to write and you to read. Basically I woke up the next day not feeling to shit after about 5 hours of sleep. My pupils were still diluted, no doubt from the methamphetamine present in the pills. I decided to go for a surf for some reason, in an attempt to slay the weird empty feeling I had. I wasn’t depressed, I just I felt a bit aimless. I spent about 20 minutes in the water and said fuck it because it was to cold, and went in. I was rung shortly after by a friend, and we ended up talking for about 50 minutes about various things and I NEVER talk to ANYONE for 50 minutes straight on a mobile phone. However, conversation was flowing and easy (again, probably the leftover meth.) Work that night (a 5 and a half hour shift) also flew by and was simple. I can see the addiction potential here in E for sure. About two days later everything felt back to normal.
Basically, I was amazed and disappointed at the same time by the whole journey. I told someone I know who is quite experienced with rolling about my trip and he basically told me that sometimes you get pills which completely smack you out and drag you into your own little world, and some which make you run around, hug people, dance, talk and so on. This ultimately annoyed me that I got a ‘smack out’ pill for a rave, as the whole point of raves is to run around, dance and hook up with random chicks.
Final Conclusion;
I’ll definitely be trying this again, with out a doubt, but probably in a different situation. I mean, I would positively love to get a speedy, loved up pill for the next rave but I don’t know if I want to take the risk. I think some beer would go down better. I believe MDMA is most likely better for bonding and talking with friends and loved ones in a more controlled, relaxed environment. Also, from this first experience I think I realize that the quality of the adventure is very much pill/dose dependant. Anyway, thank you for reading
- Infected
