missing_one
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 14, 2003
- Messages
- 279
I've had E quite a few times (10+?). Since this is my favourite drug (or at least the drug for which I have the best memories!) I was really anticipating a good time. However, the consumption pattern was very different to my previous experiences, plus the supply this time was something of an unknown quantity.
I'd never had cocaine before, so that was a new experience, but one that didn't particularly impress... read on for the story.
Pot normally puts me in a paranoid mood, but this time around it was all chill and no hassle.
The program:
Friday
~1PM Ecstasy - eaten - 1/2 pill
~7PM Food - eaten - 1 mandarin
~7PM Ecstasy - eaten - 1/2 pill
~12PM Ecstasy - eaten - 1 pill
Saturday
~4AM? Food - very little (fried noodles, 2 x fresh mandarins)
~7AM Hash - spliffs - started now, continued on and off all morning
~7AM? Cocaine - snorted - 1 line
~7:30AM? Cocaine - snorted - 1 line
~8:30AM? Cocaine - snorted - 1 line
~1PM Sleep
~7PM Wake - feel good
~8PM Hash - bong rip - 1 heavy rip
~9PM? Cocaine - snorted - 1 line
~9:30PM? Cocaine - snorted - 1 line
~10PM Food - BBQ, 1 bottle beer and a little liquor
~11PM Alcohol - ~250mL vodka
Sunday
~1-3AM Sex - paid for - 2 girls
~4AM Sleep
~8:30AM Wake - feel good
~9AM Food - yoghurt, fruit
~7PM Food - chinese
~8PM Food - coffee and cake
~9:30PM Food - mandarin
~10PM Sleep
~12:30PM Wake - feeling depressed as hell
~1AM Food - banana and mandarin
~2AM ... feeling better but cold!
Narrative
I started with eating 1/2 a pill about 1PM on Friday afternoon at someone's place. A friend did the same, a second friend snorted the same amount a bit later in an effort to 'catch up', though I'm unsure if this method really has the same effect (judging by his demeanour, I would say he wound up leaving part in his nose and getting too little in his system...).
The comfortable environment was full of friends, though all male like me. I remember being rapidly impressed at the effect of a 1/2, which I'd never done before. Within half an hour I was feeling good - I hadn't had E in well over six months. As it came up, there was the usual happy glow that began to sink in: smiling, stretching, yoga, basically very pleasant. Though the experience did wax and wane between comfy and speedy it continued to increase in intensity for a lot longer than I expected. Friends warned me about stretching a muscle (since E makes me push my flexibility and it's already good, they no doubt assumed I was pushing things too far! Nice to know they care.... at least when on E!). Right after doing certain yoga moves I started to get slight visuals, sort of small bright lines appearing and disappearing. I get this sometimes when sober - and have since I was a child - I enjoy it. Not sure if this is synasthesia or just activity in some abnormal part of the brain. Anyway, I hung out there with friends all afternoon, eventually most people left, and I helped the owner of the place clean up - which felt great, especially since it meant I could do yoga on a pristine carpet! Felt the experience coming down, still energised - no bad feeling just less unnaturally happy glow!
Left early evening (6PM?) to go home and change for the evening, still feeling very good. Put on some chilled music, danced a bit while getting sorted. About 7PM, ate a mandarin and went back to meet others. Ate another half, extra people had arrived, vibe was good and unlike others I was avoiding alcohol and just drinking small amounts of water. Over the next few hours I did more yoga, more friends arrived, and we had more chilled conversation.
Around 11 we headed out to a public party with a wide circle of friends/acquaintances as well as randoms. Before going some others ate another pill, I didn't and opted instead to take it with me. When we arrived the vibe was good, I ordered a beer and hung out for awhile with friends. We weren't exactly late so as the place filled up the feeling improved and I opted to eat another pill, possibly around midnight. The next few hours were much higher, pretty much the 'ecstasy in nightclub' style experience - alternating between meet + greet and dancing. Met some lovely women.
Later, probably three or so I had a bad experience where some overly aggressive dude decided to hassle me about some cheap plastic glasses with no lenses that he had lent me earlier, weren't even his, and had gone missing after I'd lent them to someone else. Big downer, physically threatening sort of thing. Stuff was going missing all over the place, people swapping hats/glasses/clothes, leaving stuff sitting around - you know the deal. Anyway luckily a friend was nearby and helped me tell the dude to chill out, I would look for his glasses. Later his mate came and asked me to pay for them, worth almost nothing I of course said sure just chill out (for ----'s sake!). Almost no doubt the guy had done coke, as he was the only aggressive bastard in the place. Luckily he'd done E as well - almost everyone had - so things were a little more relaxed than they otherwise might have been.
Continued dancing etc. until maybe 4AM, then left to regroup at a friend's place. As it turned out I arrived early so I ate some food, most of which I couldn't eat due to the ecstasy, and returned a bit later to meet the friends. Mood was excellent, dark room, candles, under 10 people, all chilled, some passing out. Apparently one or two people got in a rut and had a bad time, they said there was a bad vibe, but I hadn't seen it outside of the one guy. They said they found the pills (same supply) speedy and didn't want to take them again. I suppose having had smaller amounts over a longer period I didn't notice, my experience was almost exclusively positive.
One of the guys that turned up turned out to be 'the supply guy'. He is quite literally the dodgiest dealer I have ever met. Blew in from out of town. Older guy, literally career, he was constantly lying, and dodging any remotely personal question. I know he was lying that much because he lost his control after a spliff or two and a couple of beers (I drank very little), and I noticed him contradicting his former statements, openly mentioning personal details (sometimes multiple times, sometimes prompted, sometimes not), including those he'd avoided earlier. After awhile he cracked out his coke supply. I've never done coke, so I didn't know what to expect, but not really feeling like sleeping anyway I decided with what was really some serious consideration to try a free line, but under no circumstances to purchase any.
I used my own banknote (a cleaner, less handled one) to snort the stuff, which seemed like a good idea at the time. (Later I realised that some people get Hep C from sharing snorting implements, so I was happy for this decision). At first I felt nothing except a burning nose, a drip in the back of the nose, something like my previous experience snorting speed. But the high was different. It was less physical, clearer, more mental and more about confidence than energy. It was subtle, something more about confidence and less about physical energy. It certainly woke me up though. We talked and had a couple more lines, only three of us were awake by this stage, everyone else having passed out here and there. When it came to the fourth free line I turned it down. The other 'potential customer' didn't, but regretted it soon enough as his nose flared up (he had tried it before, and said this always happened to him). Dodgy dealer did fairly regularly spaced lines all morning, having declared he was staying up until that evening. We stayed awake with more chatter and spliffs until after midday, then went home and slept until about 7PM. Amusingly, still pleased with myself for not buying any coke - I'd had the money on me. This is funny because I suspect the coke contributed to this feeling - I'd had a sort of light 'mind games with dodgy dealer who is more wasted than me' vibe going on all morning, even before he cracked out his supply. Anyway ... one for the memory banks! On my way home another friend asked if I wanted to go around for a movie and a smoke, said I had an urgent nap to take and maybe later, should I ever wake up...
Slept until about 7PM, when I was rudely woken by a pizza delivery guy who got the wrong door. Thanks a lot! Decided there was nothing for it but to head out again, so followed up on the friend's suggestion and headed over to his place - two other friends were also there. We watched movies for awhile and smoked a cigarette or two while downing some liquor. After a heavy (by my standards) rip of hash from his bong he dropped out his coke supply. I did another couple of free lines. All present excluding me, "reading between the lines" (yes yes ... wrote it, realised bad pun, couldn't be bothered rewriting it), had probably purchased their own small supply over the previous days. All of them had done it before, I hadn't until the previous day. They were all curious to my reaction to the experience when this came out, basically I just said I don't really see the draw, it's just feeling enthused, confident, awake. (Since I don't normally see myself as having problems with confidence, there's no great draw). One friend said that the stuff (same dodgy supplier) was about 30% of the quality of the best stuff he'd ever had, which confirmed to me the idea that it was cut pretty heavily, or at least on the poor side of normal grade. After awhile we went out for BBQ under the effects of the last line, definitely noticed the difference in my psychology while outside in public. When I explained to a friend how I felt, he laughed knowingly said "that's the tip of the coke-fiend asshole iceberg" (a smart guy, a very occasional user, and a good friend). Downed some liquor and beer with the food.
After awhile we decided to relocate to a bar, where we had a most of a bottle of vodka going. I downed some gin first then we demolished the bottle, one of my friends fell off his chair. When we left we split up, me and the more-of-a-coke-fiend guy went back to his place. In the cab I took the opportunity to let him know that his dodgy dealer guy was giving away rather enough personal details about his customers and their habits that he should be worried... the dealer had pretty much named the guy as having a very serious habit while drunk/stoned that morning. Once we arrived at his place, his brain ticked over and he rapidly decided that rather than giving me free drugs it would be better to go find some hookers, stated plan being that we would come back and chat about the women, smoke some more and watch a movie.
We quickly arrived at a place he knew, he decided to have two girls, I decided on one.
I have to say I wasn't exactly in high-libido mode after a drawn out ecstasy binge, too little sleep, stimulants, THC, liquor and a recently reversed sleeping pattern, but then again there I was, money in the pocket and under the influence, so I took a room and hung with this chick. She was absolutely terrible, the attitude was one of those sex workers like "I am in my alternate personality, do not attempt to connect on any level or make conversation with my real personality" so after receiving bad head and bad attitude, I asked the place if I could change to another girl. I'm sure my mental state had contributed to her attitude, but surprisingly they said yes, the other girl was great and I had a good time though due to my state after awhile I enjoyed chatting to her more than her body ... and extracting an orgasm was getting blood out of a stone! Nice chick. Also amusing, the place had this set of hanging metal bars over the bed for acrobatic sex. Nice idea ... but one that will have to wait for another time, should it ever come. When we were done (two hours) the friend had gone home without waiting for me - no doubt for another line! I called twice but got no pickup, got the message, and went home - got to sleep around 4AM.
Woke up around 8:30 in the morning, felt good, sat around home eating fruit, re-hydrating and reading for most of the day. Went out back to the friend's place in the late morning, hung out and played games / chatted, went out for lunch. Back for some movies, then took off for dinner with some other people in the evening. Feeling pretty run-down by this point, tired and unenthusiastic I smoked some cigarettes to bring me back from the dead and was slightly regretful that I hadn't met some of these people (some real nice girls!) when less wasted. Had a good time anyway, drank a bit of beer, went for coffee and cake at another place. Smoked more cigarettes. Home around 9PM, feeling terrible from too much coffee. Put on some bad TV, managed to pass out.
Woke up ~midnight feeling absolutely shitty, having had nightmares about people I kind of know and scary unfamiliar party settings. Can't say I was surprised, though I REALLY felt down/depressed. Definitely a post-ecstasy thing. I put on some quiet chilled-out music and ate a banana, having read (probably here on bluelight!) that they promote seratonin regeneration. I felt much better within the hour, and while waiting started to write this report.
Conclusions
1. Expensive weekend.
2. Coke's not my thing - within hours I've experienced it's bad effect on other people from the good side of my psyche, and experienced first-hand its effects on me. I just don't think the high is anything I really want to do again, though I can see the attraction for some people - there was no significant comedown and I was able to say no to a free line, which suggests a habit 'could be' controllable. For me, for the moment, confidence is best left naturally moderated.
3. I have much better experiences with low doses of E in personal/private environments than larger doses in public settings.
4. Dodgy career drug dealers eventually get 'frayed around the edges', start dropping their own and their client's personal information, pick up significant personal habits, and become a danger to themselves and their clients.
substancecode_ecstasy
substancecode_cannabis
substancecode_cocaine
_combo_
explevel_firsttime
I'd never had cocaine before, so that was a new experience, but one that didn't particularly impress... read on for the story.
Pot normally puts me in a paranoid mood, but this time around it was all chill and no hassle.
The program:
Friday
~1PM Ecstasy - eaten - 1/2 pill
~7PM Food - eaten - 1 mandarin
~7PM Ecstasy - eaten - 1/2 pill
~12PM Ecstasy - eaten - 1 pill
Saturday
~4AM? Food - very little (fried noodles, 2 x fresh mandarins)
~7AM Hash - spliffs - started now, continued on and off all morning
~7AM? Cocaine - snorted - 1 line
~7:30AM? Cocaine - snorted - 1 line
~8:30AM? Cocaine - snorted - 1 line
~1PM Sleep
~7PM Wake - feel good
~8PM Hash - bong rip - 1 heavy rip
~9PM? Cocaine - snorted - 1 line
~9:30PM? Cocaine - snorted - 1 line
~10PM Food - BBQ, 1 bottle beer and a little liquor
~11PM Alcohol - ~250mL vodka
Sunday
~1-3AM Sex - paid for - 2 girls
~4AM Sleep
~8:30AM Wake - feel good
~9AM Food - yoghurt, fruit
~7PM Food - chinese
~8PM Food - coffee and cake
~9:30PM Food - mandarin
~10PM Sleep
~12:30PM Wake - feeling depressed as hell
~1AM Food - banana and mandarin
~2AM ... feeling better but cold!
Narrative
I started with eating 1/2 a pill about 1PM on Friday afternoon at someone's place. A friend did the same, a second friend snorted the same amount a bit later in an effort to 'catch up', though I'm unsure if this method really has the same effect (judging by his demeanour, I would say he wound up leaving part in his nose and getting too little in his system...).
The comfortable environment was full of friends, though all male like me. I remember being rapidly impressed at the effect of a 1/2, which I'd never done before. Within half an hour I was feeling good - I hadn't had E in well over six months. As it came up, there was the usual happy glow that began to sink in: smiling, stretching, yoga, basically very pleasant. Though the experience did wax and wane between comfy and speedy it continued to increase in intensity for a lot longer than I expected. Friends warned me about stretching a muscle (since E makes me push my flexibility and it's already good, they no doubt assumed I was pushing things too far! Nice to know they care.... at least when on E!). Right after doing certain yoga moves I started to get slight visuals, sort of small bright lines appearing and disappearing. I get this sometimes when sober - and have since I was a child - I enjoy it. Not sure if this is synasthesia or just activity in some abnormal part of the brain. Anyway, I hung out there with friends all afternoon, eventually most people left, and I helped the owner of the place clean up - which felt great, especially since it meant I could do yoga on a pristine carpet! Felt the experience coming down, still energised - no bad feeling just less unnaturally happy glow!
Left early evening (6PM?) to go home and change for the evening, still feeling very good. Put on some chilled music, danced a bit while getting sorted. About 7PM, ate a mandarin and went back to meet others. Ate another half, extra people had arrived, vibe was good and unlike others I was avoiding alcohol and just drinking small amounts of water. Over the next few hours I did more yoga, more friends arrived, and we had more chilled conversation.
Around 11 we headed out to a public party with a wide circle of friends/acquaintances as well as randoms. Before going some others ate another pill, I didn't and opted instead to take it with me. When we arrived the vibe was good, I ordered a beer and hung out for awhile with friends. We weren't exactly late so as the place filled up the feeling improved and I opted to eat another pill, possibly around midnight. The next few hours were much higher, pretty much the 'ecstasy in nightclub' style experience - alternating between meet + greet and dancing. Met some lovely women.
Later, probably three or so I had a bad experience where some overly aggressive dude decided to hassle me about some cheap plastic glasses with no lenses that he had lent me earlier, weren't even his, and had gone missing after I'd lent them to someone else. Big downer, physically threatening sort of thing. Stuff was going missing all over the place, people swapping hats/glasses/clothes, leaving stuff sitting around - you know the deal. Anyway luckily a friend was nearby and helped me tell the dude to chill out, I would look for his glasses. Later his mate came and asked me to pay for them, worth almost nothing I of course said sure just chill out (for ----'s sake!). Almost no doubt the guy had done coke, as he was the only aggressive bastard in the place. Luckily he'd done E as well - almost everyone had - so things were a little more relaxed than they otherwise might have been.
Continued dancing etc. until maybe 4AM, then left to regroup at a friend's place. As it turned out I arrived early so I ate some food, most of which I couldn't eat due to the ecstasy, and returned a bit later to meet the friends. Mood was excellent, dark room, candles, under 10 people, all chilled, some passing out. Apparently one or two people got in a rut and had a bad time, they said there was a bad vibe, but I hadn't seen it outside of the one guy. They said they found the pills (same supply) speedy and didn't want to take them again. I suppose having had smaller amounts over a longer period I didn't notice, my experience was almost exclusively positive.
One of the guys that turned up turned out to be 'the supply guy'. He is quite literally the dodgiest dealer I have ever met. Blew in from out of town. Older guy, literally career, he was constantly lying, and dodging any remotely personal question. I know he was lying that much because he lost his control after a spliff or two and a couple of beers (I drank very little), and I noticed him contradicting his former statements, openly mentioning personal details (sometimes multiple times, sometimes prompted, sometimes not), including those he'd avoided earlier. After awhile he cracked out his coke supply. I've never done coke, so I didn't know what to expect, but not really feeling like sleeping anyway I decided with what was really some serious consideration to try a free line, but under no circumstances to purchase any.
I used my own banknote (a cleaner, less handled one) to snort the stuff, which seemed like a good idea at the time. (Later I realised that some people get Hep C from sharing snorting implements, so I was happy for this decision). At first I felt nothing except a burning nose, a drip in the back of the nose, something like my previous experience snorting speed. But the high was different. It was less physical, clearer, more mental and more about confidence than energy. It was subtle, something more about confidence and less about physical energy. It certainly woke me up though. We talked and had a couple more lines, only three of us were awake by this stage, everyone else having passed out here and there. When it came to the fourth free line I turned it down. The other 'potential customer' didn't, but regretted it soon enough as his nose flared up (he had tried it before, and said this always happened to him). Dodgy dealer did fairly regularly spaced lines all morning, having declared he was staying up until that evening. We stayed awake with more chatter and spliffs until after midday, then went home and slept until about 7PM. Amusingly, still pleased with myself for not buying any coke - I'd had the money on me. This is funny because I suspect the coke contributed to this feeling - I'd had a sort of light 'mind games with dodgy dealer who is more wasted than me' vibe going on all morning, even before he cracked out his supply. Anyway ... one for the memory banks! On my way home another friend asked if I wanted to go around for a movie and a smoke, said I had an urgent nap to take and maybe later, should I ever wake up...
Slept until about 7PM, when I was rudely woken by a pizza delivery guy who got the wrong door. Thanks a lot! Decided there was nothing for it but to head out again, so followed up on the friend's suggestion and headed over to his place - two other friends were also there. We watched movies for awhile and smoked a cigarette or two while downing some liquor. After a heavy (by my standards) rip of hash from his bong he dropped out his coke supply. I did another couple of free lines. All present excluding me, "reading between the lines" (yes yes ... wrote it, realised bad pun, couldn't be bothered rewriting it), had probably purchased their own small supply over the previous days. All of them had done it before, I hadn't until the previous day. They were all curious to my reaction to the experience when this came out, basically I just said I don't really see the draw, it's just feeling enthused, confident, awake. (Since I don't normally see myself as having problems with confidence, there's no great draw). One friend said that the stuff (same dodgy supplier) was about 30% of the quality of the best stuff he'd ever had, which confirmed to me the idea that it was cut pretty heavily, or at least on the poor side of normal grade. After awhile we went out for BBQ under the effects of the last line, definitely noticed the difference in my psychology while outside in public. When I explained to a friend how I felt, he laughed knowingly said "that's the tip of the coke-fiend asshole iceberg" (a smart guy, a very occasional user, and a good friend). Downed some liquor and beer with the food.
After awhile we decided to relocate to a bar, where we had a most of a bottle of vodka going. I downed some gin first then we demolished the bottle, one of my friends fell off his chair. When we left we split up, me and the more-of-a-coke-fiend guy went back to his place. In the cab I took the opportunity to let him know that his dodgy dealer guy was giving away rather enough personal details about his customers and their habits that he should be worried... the dealer had pretty much named the guy as having a very serious habit while drunk/stoned that morning. Once we arrived at his place, his brain ticked over and he rapidly decided that rather than giving me free drugs it would be better to go find some hookers, stated plan being that we would come back and chat about the women, smoke some more and watch a movie.
We quickly arrived at a place he knew, he decided to have two girls, I decided on one.
I have to say I wasn't exactly in high-libido mode after a drawn out ecstasy binge, too little sleep, stimulants, THC, liquor and a recently reversed sleeping pattern, but then again there I was, money in the pocket and under the influence, so I took a room and hung with this chick. She was absolutely terrible, the attitude was one of those sex workers like "I am in my alternate personality, do not attempt to connect on any level or make conversation with my real personality" so after receiving bad head and bad attitude, I asked the place if I could change to another girl. I'm sure my mental state had contributed to her attitude, but surprisingly they said yes, the other girl was great and I had a good time though due to my state after awhile I enjoyed chatting to her more than her body ... and extracting an orgasm was getting blood out of a stone! Nice chick. Also amusing, the place had this set of hanging metal bars over the bed for acrobatic sex. Nice idea ... but one that will have to wait for another time, should it ever come. When we were done (two hours) the friend had gone home without waiting for me - no doubt for another line! I called twice but got no pickup, got the message, and went home - got to sleep around 4AM.
Woke up around 8:30 in the morning, felt good, sat around home eating fruit, re-hydrating and reading for most of the day. Went out back to the friend's place in the late morning, hung out and played games / chatted, went out for lunch. Back for some movies, then took off for dinner with some other people in the evening. Feeling pretty run-down by this point, tired and unenthusiastic I smoked some cigarettes to bring me back from the dead and was slightly regretful that I hadn't met some of these people (some real nice girls!) when less wasted. Had a good time anyway, drank a bit of beer, went for coffee and cake at another place. Smoked more cigarettes. Home around 9PM, feeling terrible from too much coffee. Put on some bad TV, managed to pass out.
Woke up ~midnight feeling absolutely shitty, having had nightmares about people I kind of know and scary unfamiliar party settings. Can't say I was surprised, though I REALLY felt down/depressed. Definitely a post-ecstasy thing. I put on some quiet chilled-out music and ate a banana, having read (probably here on bluelight!) that they promote seratonin regeneration. I felt much better within the hour, and while waiting started to write this report.
Conclusions
1. Expensive weekend.
2. Coke's not my thing - within hours I've experienced it's bad effect on other people from the good side of my psyche, and experienced first-hand its effects on me. I just don't think the high is anything I really want to do again, though I can see the attraction for some people - there was no significant comedown and I was able to say no to a free line, which suggests a habit 'could be' controllable. For me, for the moment, confidence is best left naturally moderated.
3. I have much better experiences with low doses of E in personal/private environments than larger doses in public settings.
4. Dodgy career drug dealers eventually get 'frayed around the edges', start dropping their own and their client's personal information, pick up significant personal habits, and become a danger to themselves and their clients.
substancecode_ecstasy
substancecode_cannabis
substancecode_cocaine
_combo_
explevel_firsttime
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