DFiber
Greenlighter
This past weekend was my 4th experience with ecstasy, and only the second GOOD experience. First one was alright, second one made me feel crazy, third one was magic, and this 4th one was intense. Have some questions about things that happened to me, and looking for some advice on some things as well. Used to be a stoner who loved electronic music, but didn't really have fun at raves because ecstasy never seemed to work for me. Love it now, but have allot of questions!
It was this past saturday, and I was with a group of friends that decided to roll at someones house as opposed to at a rave that was going on the same night. I was expecting this trip to be allot like the one I had had before; I was expecting to be all amped up and euphoric, overall just ready to go out and do stuff. Was totally wrong.
So vitamin C....well, it sounded legit. Preloaded with three of those daily C tablets about 2 hours before we took our rolls around 9pm, I decided to chew mine.The last time I had rolled, with the same pills, I was told that taking one of them had the same feeling as taking about 3 average rolls. That time I had taken one, and halfed another with a friend on the come down (stupid idea, didn't seem to do anything but prolong a shitty in-between) so I had 2 this time. After taking the first roll, we went outside to get some fresh air and take a few tokes to help with the nausea. After about a good 30 minutes, I felt my stomach was comfortable enough to handle a cigarette, and I knew it would kick it in good, as I was already feeling it a bit. Smoked a cigarette, and sure enough, there it was! Like a breath of fresh air, it kicked in like that and I was one happy muthafu, But then it just seemed to...fade away. It was really weird, I was rolling pretty good for about 5 minutes and it completely disappeared. It was weird, no matter what I did, I just couldn't get it to kick back in until I smoked another cigarette. After like an hour, one of my friends who had also preloaded with vitamin C complained about the same problem, and we went inside to take a couple of good bong hits to really get it going.
Question: Could the vitamin C have been causing the fading problem? The other time I had rolled, once it was kicked in, it was there for good. Not sure if this is just a mental thing, or a chemical thing.
So now I was expecting to get all amped and what not, since that was what happened the last time, but really...I just wanted to chill. I sort of just wanted to sit there and do nothing, just enjoy some music and some light shows and talk, I even felt a little tired. The first time I had rolled good, tired wasn't even in my vocabulary. I felt like I could do anything, I didn't even think about sleep until I was downing. I Thought it might have been the herb, since this stuff was some sleepy shit, but I had smoked way more last time and it did nothing to calm/relax/anything to me except make me a little...spacey, I guess.
Question: I hear pure MDMA is supposed to make you really relaxed, this is what I imagine it would have felt like. These pills were definitely cut with something else, but I don't know what. Is environment and mental state just as important as the contents of the pill when it comes to the sort of high you get from them?
Was rolling pretty good now, but ended up having to actually maintain the high with cigarettes, vicks, and music. Was still kind of dopey though, and wasn't really interested in doing anything besides listening to music. Of course, I would hang around my friends but I'd always have my headphones on and be in my own world. I finally just gave up and accepted that this was going to be a chilled out roll, and everything seemed to get better after that.
Question: Is it normal to have to maintain a roll?
So at about midnight I was peaking, and while it was pretty amazing, I wasn't social at all. I would follow my friends around and listen to music, not really engaging in conversation. I kind of felt incapable of talking, it was kind of irritating to me. At the same time, I kind of felt bad for not being social. I kept apologizing profusely, and they kept saying it was alright. Luckily, they were all chill and understood completely and left me alone. I still kind of felt guilty the whole time. I wanted my friends to have a good time, and I felt like I was being kind of a downer.
Question: Do some people normally do this? How do you feel about these sort of people?
Around 12:30AM I took my second roll and a few more bong rips. The bong rips were probably a bad idea. We went outside to smoke a cigarette 30 minutes later to kick them in fully, and it was pretty incredible. I was in a weird couch-lock blissful trance state on the grass, rocking back and forward with my eyes rolling back into my head. This eye rolling back thing hadn't happened to me before, but I've also heard that it's a side-effect of mdma. Was still ignoring my friends for the most part, which they were still very cool about. Aparrently, the whole night I was forgetting my lighter, cigarettes, and phone all over the house and they were being really cool about keeping track of them because at that point I wasn't even able. Went inside and took MORE bong rips. This is where my weird tweak session begins, and where most of my important questions come from.
[The gist of it all:
So around 2 am, I was peaking on my second roll, and still feeling the first one. I don't know if it was the weed, but it was pretty intense. Like squeezing myself and tearing up at some songs, breathing super heavy. While still completely non-social, I don't think I could have been social if I had wanted to. My communication skills were terrible, and I had a hard time understanding people. Like I would hear what they would say, but I wouldn't understand them. At this point, I had realized that I had hardly been hydrating the entire fucking night. All I could do was sip at water because, while I felt great, I knew I was close to vomiting. I settled down on couch in the living room, and began my tweak out sesh. It was at this time that the rave that night had ended, and a few people were coming back to the house to chill. Most of them were downing and exhausted, and I only knew a few of them. I have marked social anxiety disorder, so I always get a little on edge and nervous around people I don't know very well. Especially around people that look like douche-bags...and this was definitely a douche-bag crowd.
Question: If your stomach is so upset that you can't do anything more than sip at water without puking, what then?
So this is what really worries me. I decided to close my eyes and tweak to one of my favorite songs, I let my head lay backwards and my eyes roll back, then all of a sudden I started doing something weird, like...I wasn't doing it on purpose, I was just LETTING it happen. My whole body started to like jerk upwards, then it would fall back down and jerk upwards again. It was kind of a slow thing, but it felt really good to do and I was completely lost in the music. Then, all of a sudden, I put two and two together: eyes rolling backwards + weird random body movements...oh shit. At that point someone slapped my face and I...woke up, I guess. When my eyes came back down it kind of half felt like I had woken up from an e-hug or from a long sleep. One of my friends was standing over me, asking if I was OK and if I knew where I was and what not. Of course, I remembered everything but was still a little freaked out. Was also feeling really, reaaallllyyy fucking bad for tweaking out infront of these people I didn't know. I felt terrible for freaking them out, I felt terrible for embarrassing myself (some of them were laughing,) and I started to come down pretty fast.
Question: Wtf was that? I was aware I was doing it, so It's not like I completely blacked out, but I still had that weird black out feeling afterwards and am told that it looked really sketchy. Was that like...a pre-seizure or something? I know it had something to do with me not hydrating, mineralz n' shit. Also, how does it make you feel when you see people tweaking our like that?
Then I started to notice some strange physical symptoms. I could hardly do anything with my hands, it was hard for me to text or dig into my pocket for something specific. I was starting to get really confused about things, I even forgot who one of my friends was for a brief second. I was trying to sip as much water as I could without puking, and at the same time taking sips from one of my friends vitamin waters (mineralz n' shit)was VERY irritated with almost everyone and everything, vision was literally starting to blur. Not like drunk blur, but like...fucking blur. o.o
So, my friend and I got a ride home with a sober friend. I was really tired, and I felt like dozing off in the car. Everytime I tried to close my eyes and sleep, my eyes would roll to the back of my head and I would start doing that weird pre-seizure thing again. Luckily, my friend kept "waking me up" every time I did that. Got home and stayed awake an extra hour, sipping at fluids, resting. Was kind of sketched out about sleeping.
Question:What would have happened if my friend had not stopped me from "falling asleep"?
It was this past saturday, and I was with a group of friends that decided to roll at someones house as opposed to at a rave that was going on the same night. I was expecting this trip to be allot like the one I had had before; I was expecting to be all amped up and euphoric, overall just ready to go out and do stuff. Was totally wrong.
So vitamin C....well, it sounded legit. Preloaded with three of those daily C tablets about 2 hours before we took our rolls around 9pm, I decided to chew mine.The last time I had rolled, with the same pills, I was told that taking one of them had the same feeling as taking about 3 average rolls. That time I had taken one, and halfed another with a friend on the come down (stupid idea, didn't seem to do anything but prolong a shitty in-between) so I had 2 this time. After taking the first roll, we went outside to get some fresh air and take a few tokes to help with the nausea. After about a good 30 minutes, I felt my stomach was comfortable enough to handle a cigarette, and I knew it would kick it in good, as I was already feeling it a bit. Smoked a cigarette, and sure enough, there it was! Like a breath of fresh air, it kicked in like that and I was one happy muthafu, But then it just seemed to...fade away. It was really weird, I was rolling pretty good for about 5 minutes and it completely disappeared. It was weird, no matter what I did, I just couldn't get it to kick back in until I smoked another cigarette. After like an hour, one of my friends who had also preloaded with vitamin C complained about the same problem, and we went inside to take a couple of good bong hits to really get it going.
Question: Could the vitamin C have been causing the fading problem? The other time I had rolled, once it was kicked in, it was there for good. Not sure if this is just a mental thing, or a chemical thing.
So now I was expecting to get all amped and what not, since that was what happened the last time, but really...I just wanted to chill. I sort of just wanted to sit there and do nothing, just enjoy some music and some light shows and talk, I even felt a little tired. The first time I had rolled good, tired wasn't even in my vocabulary. I felt like I could do anything, I didn't even think about sleep until I was downing. I Thought it might have been the herb, since this stuff was some sleepy shit, but I had smoked way more last time and it did nothing to calm/relax/anything to me except make me a little...spacey, I guess.
Question: I hear pure MDMA is supposed to make you really relaxed, this is what I imagine it would have felt like. These pills were definitely cut with something else, but I don't know what. Is environment and mental state just as important as the contents of the pill when it comes to the sort of high you get from them?
Was rolling pretty good now, but ended up having to actually maintain the high with cigarettes, vicks, and music. Was still kind of dopey though, and wasn't really interested in doing anything besides listening to music. Of course, I would hang around my friends but I'd always have my headphones on and be in my own world. I finally just gave up and accepted that this was going to be a chilled out roll, and everything seemed to get better after that.
Question: Is it normal to have to maintain a roll?
So at about midnight I was peaking, and while it was pretty amazing, I wasn't social at all. I would follow my friends around and listen to music, not really engaging in conversation. I kind of felt incapable of talking, it was kind of irritating to me. At the same time, I kind of felt bad for not being social. I kept apologizing profusely, and they kept saying it was alright. Luckily, they were all chill and understood completely and left me alone. I still kind of felt guilty the whole time. I wanted my friends to have a good time, and I felt like I was being kind of a downer.
Question: Do some people normally do this? How do you feel about these sort of people?
Around 12:30AM I took my second roll and a few more bong rips. The bong rips were probably a bad idea. We went outside to smoke a cigarette 30 minutes later to kick them in fully, and it was pretty incredible. I was in a weird couch-lock blissful trance state on the grass, rocking back and forward with my eyes rolling back into my head. This eye rolling back thing hadn't happened to me before, but I've also heard that it's a side-effect of mdma. Was still ignoring my friends for the most part, which they were still very cool about. Aparrently, the whole night I was forgetting my lighter, cigarettes, and phone all over the house and they were being really cool about keeping track of them because at that point I wasn't even able. Went inside and took MORE bong rips. This is where my weird tweak session begins, and where most of my important questions come from.
[The gist of it all:
So around 2 am, I was peaking on my second roll, and still feeling the first one. I don't know if it was the weed, but it was pretty intense. Like squeezing myself and tearing up at some songs, breathing super heavy. While still completely non-social, I don't think I could have been social if I had wanted to. My communication skills were terrible, and I had a hard time understanding people. Like I would hear what they would say, but I wouldn't understand them. At this point, I had realized that I had hardly been hydrating the entire fucking night. All I could do was sip at water because, while I felt great, I knew I was close to vomiting. I settled down on couch in the living room, and began my tweak out sesh. It was at this time that the rave that night had ended, and a few people were coming back to the house to chill. Most of them were downing and exhausted, and I only knew a few of them. I have marked social anxiety disorder, so I always get a little on edge and nervous around people I don't know very well. Especially around people that look like douche-bags...and this was definitely a douche-bag crowd.
Question: If your stomach is so upset that you can't do anything more than sip at water without puking, what then?
So this is what really worries me. I decided to close my eyes and tweak to one of my favorite songs, I let my head lay backwards and my eyes roll back, then all of a sudden I started doing something weird, like...I wasn't doing it on purpose, I was just LETTING it happen. My whole body started to like jerk upwards, then it would fall back down and jerk upwards again. It was kind of a slow thing, but it felt really good to do and I was completely lost in the music. Then, all of a sudden, I put two and two together: eyes rolling backwards + weird random body movements...oh shit. At that point someone slapped my face and I...woke up, I guess. When my eyes came back down it kind of half felt like I had woken up from an e-hug or from a long sleep. One of my friends was standing over me, asking if I was OK and if I knew where I was and what not. Of course, I remembered everything but was still a little freaked out. Was also feeling really, reaaallllyyy fucking bad for tweaking out infront of these people I didn't know. I felt terrible for freaking them out, I felt terrible for embarrassing myself (some of them were laughing,) and I started to come down pretty fast.
Question: Wtf was that? I was aware I was doing it, so It's not like I completely blacked out, but I still had that weird black out feeling afterwards and am told that it looked really sketchy. Was that like...a pre-seizure or something? I know it had something to do with me not hydrating, mineralz n' shit. Also, how does it make you feel when you see people tweaking our like that?
Then I started to notice some strange physical symptoms. I could hardly do anything with my hands, it was hard for me to text or dig into my pocket for something specific. I was starting to get really confused about things, I even forgot who one of my friends was for a brief second. I was trying to sip as much water as I could without puking, and at the same time taking sips from one of my friends vitamin waters (mineralz n' shit)was VERY irritated with almost everyone and everything, vision was literally starting to blur. Not like drunk blur, but like...fucking blur. o.o
So, my friend and I got a ride home with a sober friend. I was really tired, and I felt like dozing off in the car. Everytime I tried to close my eyes and sleep, my eyes would roll to the back of my head and I would start doing that weird pre-seizure thing again. Luckily, my friend kept "waking me up" every time I did that. Got home and stayed awake an extra hour, sipping at fluids, resting. Was kind of sketched out about sleeping.
Question:What would have happened if my friend had not stopped me from "falling asleep"?

