Ecstasy anxiety

[Xelz]

Hey guys, new poster here so bear with me for a bit please

Here's the thing; Ecstasy really is my drug of choice, the first time I took it was an absolute heart warming and amazing bonding experience with friends, and I still glow whenever I think of that. That's about a year ago right now, and I took some E on 4 other occassions during the year. The first time being on a rave, had a great night with friends and talked to almost everyone in the club as I'm sure will sound familiar to some of you haha! The second time after that was also at a rave, at new years eve. My friend had scored some different pills for us this time, and we didn't bother to get them tested. I'm fairly positive that it was still MDMA though, but the dose was way higher than I could handle. I started to freak out, threw my champagne away, and walked outside to a hallway in the venue to sit down and chill. One of my friend's came over, talked to me for a bit, gave me a drink and within 15 minutes I was quite allright again. When I think about it, it really wasn't that bad of an experience, it just really wasn't pleasant either.

Now my problem; ever since that time I feel great anxiety whenever I popped a pill (2 more occassions after NYE), and immediatly when the effects set on I feel like a dumbshit for taking E again and try to supress the feelings, even though I obviously know that's the worst thing I can do. Do you guys have any tips for me to get rid of this anxiety? I'd really like to enjoy E again like those first 2 times I tried it, but I don't wanna keep messing up my nights, sitting in a corner waiting for the effects to wear off.

ps. I should add that last saturday I tried pure Molly for the first time, had a good experience with it even though I didn't find it to be as powerful and mindblowing as popping a pill.

Thanks guys,

Xelz

 

[Renz Envy]

You answered your own question within the post. Every drug is dependent on your mindset.

With that said, you can experience the full broad range of emotions while rolling; it is not a magical happy pill 100% of the time. Your setting and mood makes a huge impact on how your "roll" will be, especially the more experienced you become.

My advice is to continue pursuing pure molly, however if you're not satisfied with your roll, take a break or slightly up the dose. If you are getting true MDMA, you will not experience as many negative side-effects.

 

[Fyasko.]

You answered your own question within the post. Every drug is dependent on your mindset.

With that said, you can experience the full broad range of emotions while rolling; it is not a magical happy pill 100% of the time. Your setting and mood makes a huge impact on how your "roll" will be, especially the more experienced you become.

My advice is to continue pursuing pure molly, however if you're not satisfied with your roll, take a break or slightly up the dose. If you are getting true MDMA, you will not experience as many negative side-effects.

^this.
but it would help if you knew what was in your pills, you cant just assume your getting mdma.
i mean what if you were just getting like methbombs?

 

[Xelz]

^this.
but it would help if you knew what was in your pills, you cant just assume your getting mdma.
i mean what if you were just getting like methbombs?

Hmm, I'm fairly sure that it was MDMA, here in The Netherlands we are kind of spoiled with good MDMA pills so I'm not too worried about getting something else. We can also get them tested at a proper test centre where they'll tell you what's in it and how much, so I'll definitely be doing that in the future.

 

[Darksidesam]

Hmm, I'm fairly sure that it was MDMA, here in The Netherlands we are kind of spoiled with good MDMA pills

That you are!!!!!! One pill blew my head off!!! it really did!!!! i was flying around defqon main stage. in my brain anway. hahhahah!!!


I now get Precoming up Anxiety... Never had any anxiety , but a 800mg , first time and never again DXM experience has done this.

Unfortunately its still there, But when you start to peak it Will Go away and you can enjoy yourself then..
I ever tried doing some ketamine whilst coming up but that had no help to my anxiety, so i was wonky and anxious last time i rolled , when coming up.. Lol..

 

[Fyasko.]

Hmm, I'm fairly sure that it was MDMA, here in The Netherlands we are kind of spoiled with good MDMA pills so I'm not too worried about getting something else. We can also get them tested at a proper test centre where they'll tell you what's in it and how much, so I'll definitely be doing that in the future.

ohh alright i didnt know you were from the Netherlands.
yeah i've seen your section on Pillreports and mdma seems to be in just about every pill

 

[^Xayo]

coming up is always a problem for me. my friends know this and keep a beer on hand for when I'm coming up :'DD

 

[brs677]

i had a problem with this horribly saturday. took a much more potent pill than i predicted.

I had a friend talk me down outside by myself, had some sugar (sour patch kids and a nutty bar) and it took my mind off it. the sugar i assume helped with my shakes and when my body was a little more calm, my mind calmed down a bit. then i just was feeling that great roll i love.

when taking psychedelics or similar, it always helps to have a friend that you know and would trust with your life and a place you can go talk to him/her. doesn't even need to be talking you down, sometimes just talking with someone who you feel comfortable telling anything to helps. for me it took me from just saying things to people so they wouldn't be weirded out to just casual conversation with my friend which calmed me down greatly. takes your mind off your roll and onto catching up with a friend

 

[AndroidsDreamofBTC]

Have you tried rolling with a girl. I feel that should take your mind of any anxiety. You could also try rolling in a new environment - consider rolling while take a walk in park and/or around town. I find the best way to make MDMA shine more is to take it with a perfect mindset (something like dropping with old buddies who you haven't chilled with in a while) and in some sort of new setting that let's you "feel" the effect in a new way.

 

[Darksidesam]

The worst thing to happen, say if your at a rave and coming up and get anxiety is when, you are say going to a non regular event and when you get the anxiety bad and look around the dancefloor you see noone you know.

Thats when its worse..

 

[mufc1]

I also suffer from the coming up anxiety problem, I found this out on my first mdma experience...since then i have learned to easily contain it, I take my doses in a gradual grade, i.e. pills in half or thirds depending on their strength, over an hour. I still get minute anxiety for around 5 minutes this way but it is nowhere near what I get when taking a full dose. Maybe you should try that?

 

[severely etarded]

rolling makes the best out of the situation IMO. Intensifies it, makes it more emotional etc. This is why you feel the need people around you on your level. Crappy setting = crappy roll. Simple as that..

 

[Darksidesam]

rolling makes the best out of the situation IMO. Intensifies it, makes it more emotional etc. This is why you feel the need people around you on your level. Crappy setting = crappy roll. Simple as that..

I rolled in someones living room once,
and i always roll really hard and i did some k too. I was so confused hahahahha

Must have been entertaining to watch ..

But that was my least exciting roll it really was... but chemically i was rolling hard, but the surroundings... The last time i rolled before that was at a hardstyle festival of 50,000 people Vs living room LOL

 

[3rd_I_blind]

Now my problem; ever since that time I feel great anxiety whenever I popped a pill (2 more occassions after NYE), and immediatly when the effects set on I feel like a dumbshit for taking E again and try to supress the feelings, even though I obviously know that's the worst thing I can do. Do you guys have any tips for me to get rid of this anxiety? I'd really like to enjoy E again like those first 2 times I tried it, but I don't wanna keep messing up my nights, sitting in a corner waiting for the effects to wear off.

It might help to write down beforehand all the reasons why you are not a dumbshit for taking E, along with some reasons why you should enjoy your upcoming trip. Also, I suggest you try to start slowly with only a quarter, then perhaps another quarter or a half tablet 45-60 minutes after that. You will have a more gradual build-up of the feeling, so you will not be overwhelmed or anything. I think that if you have one or two decent rolls without anxiety/self-hatred you will effectively be 'cured'. I'm from the Netherland too, feel free to ask me for a PM with some personal details so I might be able to advice you in Dutch.

Cheers!

 

[Xelz]

Thank you all for your responses, I think I'll be continueing with pure Molly for now, maybe just up my initial dose a bit and hope to get that "Woahh" feeling again. 3rd_I_blind, I really feel like you're correct in saying that when I'll roll without anxiety again I'll be cured, it's just something that really gets in my headwhen I'm coming up... Will keep you all posted

 

[ChiLights]

its true, there was a time i rolled when i was A) super tired, B) not that excited to roll, C) at a really hardcore dub step show d) everything that could start to go wrong happened (too crowded, girl we were with got socked in the face by a dude, gf was freaking out, etc).

i had the worst anxiety that night during my roll, and each subsequent roll was just as anxiety provoking, until months later when i was at a festival, REALLY wanted to roll, and had some lorazepam nearby as a safety net. Ever since then, my rolls, come ups, and everything are anxiety free. The key is to find ways to comfort yourself.

My methods:
A) Wear my "FEARLESS" wristband
B) Keep benzos nearby
C) Spend enough time researching MDMA that I know what can happen and how to combat it
D) SUPPLEMENTS! I can't tell you how much better rolling is with a proper pre-load and post-load (plus coming home knowing that you have 5-htp and the right supplements to prevent neurotoxicity)
E) a lil booze
F) gatorade
and most importantly) EXPERIENCE!

once you're comfortable with eye wiggles, jaw clenching, feeling like you're walking on a cloud, and knowing all the signs of coming up into peaking and rolling (and how to take breaks, get light shows, dance, and stay happy) you'll be fine!

 

[xburtonchic]

My first few times taking E were absolutely AMAZING. Mind-blowing, even.

But it does indeed lose it's magic after a while, and you start to feel the negative effects more than you feel the positive ones with each extra dose. I noticed after my first few experiences, that each time I took E, the experience and the come downs were getting worse and worse. It didn't matter who I was with or where I was, the anxiety got worse each time, as did the comedown, and even the roll itself. The last time I rolled put me off E for good. I should have had a good one - I was with one of my best friends at a kick back with great friends who I've known for years and feel 100% comfortable with... good music, good people, good frame of mind. But as soon as the E kicked in, I got the ABSOLUTE WORST anxiety I have ever felt in my entire life. It was so bad that I was literally shaking, visibly. My friends kept asking me if I was cold, that's how bad it was. And I also WAS cold- I'd be freezing one second and burning up the next. I got the eye jiggles, jaw clenching, muscle aches, and horrible come down a mere two hours after taking it. I rolled VERY slightly for maybe a half hour, and that was it. My friend took the same pill and had a great roll. All I know, is that ecstasy and me have run it's course; I'll never do it again. It took 3 1 mg benzos for me to finally calm down enough to go to sleep.

So as far as anxiety goes, I don't know what your situation is exactly, but judging from mine... I only have two suggestions for you:
1. Keep some benzos on hand, just in case it gets too much to handle. It will kill your roll and your anxiety soon enough, and possibly allow you to knock out and fall asleep. Or,
2. Don't take E at all.

That's all I've got for ya... sorry.

 

[Andronicus]

In my experience, in the end, most drugs get shitty. What was once the most amazing thing turns out to be not so great after all. No drug is all good and that most certainly includes E. That's why the vast majority of E users stop regular use of their own accord after a while. No amount of planning or thinking about it makes any difference once the E kicks in as you're sent to a different reality.

I would suggest stop taking it entirely for say a year and see how much you enjoy those parties and clubs without being off it.

 

[3rd_I_blind]

In my experience, in the end, most drugs get shitty. What was once the most amazing thing turns out to be not so great after all. No drug is all good and that most certainly includes E. That's why the vast majority of E users stop regular use of their own accord after a while. No amount of planning or thinking about it makes any difference once the E kicks in as you're sent to a different reality.

Although I agree with you on the above, it seems fairly obvious this is not the case in the OP's story.

But as soon as the E kicked in, I got the ABSOLUTE WORST anxiety I have ever felt in my entire life. It was so bad that I was literally shaking, visibly. My friends kept asking me if I was cold, that's how bad it was. And I also WAS cold- I'd be freezing one second and burning up the next. I got the eye jiggles, jaw clenching, muscle aches, and horrible come down a mere two hours after taking it.

Sounds like a classic mCPP scenario, you did any testing of those tablets?

I think I'll be continueing with pure Molly for now, maybe just up my initial dose a bit and hope to get that "Woahh" feeling again.

I strongly advice you to lowerp/b[ your initial dose instead of upping it. You must realize that the anxiety is actually exacerbated by the massive serotonin release once the MDMA kicks in. The more gradual you start up your roll, the less chance you have of getting another anxiety attack. It's the same as with alcohol, if you drink a whole bottle of wodka you will puke, but if you empty said bottle over the course of six hours you'll be just fine (as far as puking goes). It's not that taking an extra heavy dose of MDMA will cause so much euphoria you won't notice the anxiety...

 

[xburtonchic]

What's mCPP?

But no, I didn't do any testing of them. I never was one to do E regularly, so on the rare occasion when I did, I made sure to get it through a friend I trusted who had already tried said pills. Everyone else who took them was fine and had a good roll. That's just how I react to it for some reason, idk. I hate that drug. It's possible that the fact I already have anxiety in my day to day life just makes it more pronounced when I take stimulants. Same thing with meth... did it once, worst anxiety attack ever, never again. Thank God for benzos in those situations, that's all I have to say lol.

EDIT: Nevermind, a quick search on Erowid answered that question for me. I've heard about piperazine before, apparently it's nasty stuff. Could be, but like I said everybody else was fine. Although I've started reading through the trip reports and it does sound pretty dead-on to how I felt, especially the emotional feelings. Not at euphoric, just kind of zombie-like. I think my face was in a permanent frown the entire time actually, even though I wasn't necessarily unhappy about anything. I just wasn't happy about anything, either. I had no motivation and nothing seemed interesting. The only activity that appealed to me was sleep, and that was impossible without benzos. Weird. Maybe I got a different pill than they did somehow...