Hello. I recently had an awful trip off of ecstasy and weed and I'm scared that there might be permanent damage to my brain. I'll try to reproduce the circumstances and events as best I can. It is difficult to transcribe an experience like this into words sometimes.
My friends and I had been trying to get some familiar E from a familiar source, but that didn't work out, so the day in question we got a number of yellow/green dragonflies from someone a friend had recommended as a trustworthy dealer. We'd been out for a few hours before coming home to roll, so it was around 1:00 AM by the time I took my pill, the only one I had that night. I'd barely eaten anything all day.
The last time I'd done ecstasy (about a week prior) it was unlike anything I'd ever felt in my life. It was amazing; I just stood in a spot for hours and let myself melt, and had some great talks with my best friends. It had taken an hour and a half to two hours the other couple times I had taken it, so I didn't feel too bad at first when it wasn't kicking in. By about two and a half hours when all of my friends were claiming it was working and that they felt really good, my mood turned sour. I felt a bit of something, but mostly I was just spaced out and slow to speak, though I was completely aware of everything around me. At about that point I decided to smoke some weed because all of my friends said that it was a catalyst for them.
My background with weed is not so hot. I've never really enjoyed it whole-heartedly on its own; I usually get too anxious and have to go to bed. I even had a near death experience because of it once. I smoke weed when I'm drunk sometimes though, and that can be quite fun, and the other two times on E and it seemed to be a complementary thing.
So I smoked some weed. I don't know how much, and I don't think it was a lot, but I did hold it in for a long time after a couple hoots, so that likely contributed. For a few minutes afterwards I just chilled and waited for the weed to kick in, then went to my room. Once I was in my room I started to feel very odd, and I got down onto my knees and spread my upper body across my bed. I started to hallucinate, and saw myself as a flood of water cutting into desert rock forming rapids, waterfalls, and all that river anatomy. At this point I didn't feel particularly bad, although I had not hallucinated on E previously. My body was slowly slipping from the bed and I took myself out of the trip and got up to see what my friends were up to.
I'm not quite sure when I started freaking out, but the ecstasy was obviously cut with different stuff than the glocks I'd had the previous time, and I felt cheated out of a beautiful experience while all of my friends enjoyed themselves.
When I get high (from pot) I am able to feel things in my body that I am usually unable to feel, which generally causes some of my anxiety, i.e. sometimes I can control my heart. This time, combined with the ecstasy, I think that the weed took the feeling that ecstasy would normally spread throughout my body and morphed it into that "weed" sensation that I don't quite agree with. It was nice, but not nice enough. It was keeping me from my roll. So with the anxiety and frustration at not having a good roll, I started to turn in on myself and started to feel all of these sensations like I would be able to with straight pot, but these were very different from normal. It felt like brain cells were popping in my head, or I could feel my neurons sending neurotransmitters or something - it was a kind of small bursting feeling that was a bit liquidy. I also felt like my brain was bleeding or spinal fluid was leaking into my throat because I felt foreign liquid at the top of my throat accumulate after every time I swallowed. It occurred to me that this could be normal, but just something I had never been aware of before. I began to feel as though my brain was decomposing and shrinking inside of my head, and it terrified me. My friends tried to talk me through it sometimes, but they didn't want to overwhelm me. I was able at certain points to break out and have a laugh with them, but then I'd start frettingly roaming the house again, bang my head against a wall, or go to the bathroom and stare in the mirror. I drank some water throughout the night, though I wasn't sweating and felt a bit sick to my stomach already. I was VERY pale, and my friends noticed this. I had no colour in my face and my feet and legs felt like they were going numb or paralyzed. At one point I was standing in front of the mirror and was convinced that I could see my brain pressing against my forehead, and after talking with my friend the next day, he admitted that I'd convinced him of this as well, though he didn't say it at the time. Not that that really makes sense considering my brain was apparently SHRINKING...
Anyways, I was barraged with these popping feelings and sentiments of horrible death and doom, and as I tried to fall asleep I was convinced that I would wake up retarded in some way, as the drugs were eating my brain. It is now two days later and I still feel somewhat strange, like I'm not all here, and I still have the dreadful idea that my brain is smaller than it was a week ago (I even tested this theory by trying on an old toque - it fits better than I remember!) Running my hands over my head reassures my conviction. There is still the occasional popping in my head, and yesterday I could feel liquid at the top of my throat all day (perhaps this could be due to my cold?) I recognize that maybe I will feel better with more time, but feeling like this at all scares me very much.
For a good part of my life I was a bit of a hypochondriac, but until recently that hadn't been a problem. I've also been to shrinks and on Prozac for anxiety, though that ended months ago so I doubt there was any conflict between that and the ecstasy.
Has anyone else had an experience like this? What was in this ecstasy? Am I really feeling my brain shrink, my brain cells popping, my neurons at work, or my spinal fluid leaking? I have some theories myself, but would anyone mind guessing what the fuck is wrong with me?
substancecode_mdma
substancecode_ecstasy
substancecode_cannabis
substancecode_marijuana
substancecode_empathogens
explevel_thirdtime
roacode_oral
roacode_smoked
roacode_inhaled
exptype_negative
exptype_difficult
exptype_healthissues
_combo_
My friends and I had been trying to get some familiar E from a familiar source, but that didn't work out, so the day in question we got a number of yellow/green dragonflies from someone a friend had recommended as a trustworthy dealer. We'd been out for a few hours before coming home to roll, so it was around 1:00 AM by the time I took my pill, the only one I had that night. I'd barely eaten anything all day.
The last time I'd done ecstasy (about a week prior) it was unlike anything I'd ever felt in my life. It was amazing; I just stood in a spot for hours and let myself melt, and had some great talks with my best friends. It had taken an hour and a half to two hours the other couple times I had taken it, so I didn't feel too bad at first when it wasn't kicking in. By about two and a half hours when all of my friends were claiming it was working and that they felt really good, my mood turned sour. I felt a bit of something, but mostly I was just spaced out and slow to speak, though I was completely aware of everything around me. At about that point I decided to smoke some weed because all of my friends said that it was a catalyst for them.
My background with weed is not so hot. I've never really enjoyed it whole-heartedly on its own; I usually get too anxious and have to go to bed. I even had a near death experience because of it once. I smoke weed when I'm drunk sometimes though, and that can be quite fun, and the other two times on E and it seemed to be a complementary thing.
So I smoked some weed. I don't know how much, and I don't think it was a lot, but I did hold it in for a long time after a couple hoots, so that likely contributed. For a few minutes afterwards I just chilled and waited for the weed to kick in, then went to my room. Once I was in my room I started to feel very odd, and I got down onto my knees and spread my upper body across my bed. I started to hallucinate, and saw myself as a flood of water cutting into desert rock forming rapids, waterfalls, and all that river anatomy. At this point I didn't feel particularly bad, although I had not hallucinated on E previously. My body was slowly slipping from the bed and I took myself out of the trip and got up to see what my friends were up to.
I'm not quite sure when I started freaking out, but the ecstasy was obviously cut with different stuff than the glocks I'd had the previous time, and I felt cheated out of a beautiful experience while all of my friends enjoyed themselves.
When I get high (from pot) I am able to feel things in my body that I am usually unable to feel, which generally causes some of my anxiety, i.e. sometimes I can control my heart. This time, combined with the ecstasy, I think that the weed took the feeling that ecstasy would normally spread throughout my body and morphed it into that "weed" sensation that I don't quite agree with. It was nice, but not nice enough. It was keeping me from my roll. So with the anxiety and frustration at not having a good roll, I started to turn in on myself and started to feel all of these sensations like I would be able to with straight pot, but these were very different from normal. It felt like brain cells were popping in my head, or I could feel my neurons sending neurotransmitters or something - it was a kind of small bursting feeling that was a bit liquidy. I also felt like my brain was bleeding or spinal fluid was leaking into my throat because I felt foreign liquid at the top of my throat accumulate after every time I swallowed. It occurred to me that this could be normal, but just something I had never been aware of before. I began to feel as though my brain was decomposing and shrinking inside of my head, and it terrified me. My friends tried to talk me through it sometimes, but they didn't want to overwhelm me. I was able at certain points to break out and have a laugh with them, but then I'd start frettingly roaming the house again, bang my head against a wall, or go to the bathroom and stare in the mirror. I drank some water throughout the night, though I wasn't sweating and felt a bit sick to my stomach already. I was VERY pale, and my friends noticed this. I had no colour in my face and my feet and legs felt like they were going numb or paralyzed. At one point I was standing in front of the mirror and was convinced that I could see my brain pressing against my forehead, and after talking with my friend the next day, he admitted that I'd convinced him of this as well, though he didn't say it at the time. Not that that really makes sense considering my brain was apparently SHRINKING...
Anyways, I was barraged with these popping feelings and sentiments of horrible death and doom, and as I tried to fall asleep I was convinced that I would wake up retarded in some way, as the drugs were eating my brain. It is now two days later and I still feel somewhat strange, like I'm not all here, and I still have the dreadful idea that my brain is smaller than it was a week ago (I even tested this theory by trying on an old toque - it fits better than I remember!) Running my hands over my head reassures my conviction. There is still the occasional popping in my head, and yesterday I could feel liquid at the top of my throat all day (perhaps this could be due to my cold?) I recognize that maybe I will feel better with more time, but feeling like this at all scares me very much.
For a good part of my life I was a bit of a hypochondriac, but until recently that hadn't been a problem. I've also been to shrinks and on Prozac for anxiety, though that ended months ago so I doubt there was any conflict between that and the ecstasy.
Has anyone else had an experience like this? What was in this ecstasy? Am I really feeling my brain shrink, my brain cells popping, my neurons at work, or my spinal fluid leaking? I have some theories myself, but would anyone mind guessing what the fuck is wrong with me?
substancecode_mdma
substancecode_ecstasy
substancecode_cannabis
substancecode_marijuana
substancecode_empathogens
explevel_thirdtime
roacode_oral
roacode_smoked
roacode_inhaled
exptype_negative
exptype_difficult
exptype_healthissues
_combo_
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