AuraithX
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 22, 2006
- Messages
- 4,503
I've decided to rewrite as in the past few months I've learned a lot about what happened that night and what happened to me.
I'd just like to say that even though this was a very traumatic experience for me it was probably the most significant event in my life.
----
This happened in April,2006, just coming up for my 17th birthday. I was not a bluelighter yet and very uneducated about drugs.. Following the British standard I would binge every weekend. At the time we had some very dirty pills that were adulterated with Meth, and probably some unknown RC. Over the weekend I consumed a total of 38-42 pills. (4 day weekend) It was Monday, everyone was on a comedown. me and my cousin were sitting in a closet hallucinating for the first time. My other cousin was having bad bad spasms and not making any sense when he was talking. I was enjoying toying with the hallucinations, I would stare at a loose screw on the wall and it would eventually grow wings and start flying about. I was fascinated by the hallucinations and sat in the closet most of the day toying with them. As the day went buy the hallucinations grew stronger. by the end of the night I was able to manipulate it and create full blown dragons and such.
The night was approaching and since we just got a fresh oz. of weed we decided to do a smoke. Got out the gravity bong and started taking hit after hit, I was on my 7th hit or something when the UV light was put on. I stared up at the sealing and noticed that it looked very pixilated, as I stared at it I realized I could manipulate the colours and done this for a while. I'd been smoking weed for about 2 years and had never hallucinated before..So I figured the ecstasy was still effecting me. This is when I lost control, I started painting people with my eyes and frantically laughing. I could tell people were weirded out by the way I was acting [I'm usually very calm even on large quantities of anything]
Suddenly I got tunnel vision and was like the whole world was in fast foward and I couldn't control anything. It was like where you see someone that is really drunk in a movie walking around a party making an arse of himself.
I don't remember what happened in between but I remember coming out of some sort of dimension. I was in the middle of the universe headed towards a giant photoalbum of my life it zoomed into one of me standing outside the Flat looking up at the window, this was only for a few moments and then suddenly I was back in my own body. Gravity felt as if it was coming from the left, I felt as if chains were being dragged throughout my entire body [at the time I thought I was made out of sand and was being dragged through time but chains being dragged through body is a more accurate description]
The chains were the most horrific pain I had ever felt in my life. I vaugly remember feeling as if I was being bent through a dimension. The Deja-Vu was so immense that I was convinced that time was repeating itself. I kept repeating the phrase "No Heaven, No God" which I suppose is what freaked out my friends the most.
Whenever I would clench my fists the dragged effect would stop, but then continue in the other direction. I eventually gave up, the pain was too much, I was convinced that life was pointless and repetitive and that I knew what happened in death, I wanted to die. I asked each one of my friends individually to kill me, and then in a last desperate attempt asked for an ambulance [at the time I somehow thought "the ambulance people are nice, they'll kill me]
At this time I regained some control of my thoughts/what I was saying. I sat on the end of the couch, giving in to the chains, moving back in forth in direction with them. I went though periods of heavy sweating. My cousin gave me a glass of water to calm me down, he asked for the glass back incase and lost it and started attacking people [I am one of the stronger people in the group] But I could not let go, My hand was gripped tightly on it and I couldn't release it..my cousin eventually had to squeeze it out.
The ambulance people arrived and looked quiet disgusted with me. They practically carried me downstairs and put me in a wheelchair. I remember sitting in the ambulance and all I could see was a look of disappointment in my cousins face.
Next thing I know a nurse is escorting me into a room in a hospital, she tells me to lie down on the bed and leaves, forwhatever reason I thought to myself "fuck you im not lying on the bed, im gonna sit on the chair"
I don't remember anything after that until the car ride home.
I was sitting in the car and I could stop time. I done it once and was horrified in case I got stuck in between. I couldn't hear what anyone was saying, my uncle was trying to talk to me but I couldn't hear anything for periods of time and then I seemed as if all the sound I had missed from that period came at once in one jumbled up second. My Memory goes blank again.
I'm now sitting on my couch in my living room, my dad is looking down at me in disgust. everyone was trying to talk to me but all the sounds now sounded muffled and I could hear the Prodigy playing. I was looking around trying to see where it was coming from when eventually I realized I must of been imagining it. Time was repeating itself again. I heard my uncle say "Right I'll smoke one more cigarette than I'll go" I watched him smoke that cigarette seven times. I remained calm because I knew I was just hallucinating and really didn't want to freak out in front of my parents.
They gave me a blanket and I slept on the couch that night.
That entire week I got visual and aural hallucinations. Sleep Paralysis almost every night, jaw chattering and the general sense of being "out of it"
At the time I swore off all drugs claiming "drugs shouldn't be able to do that shit to you" but as time passed I have learned alot from this experience, not only about drug abuse but about the universe, meaning of life, etc. Ever since that day the reality I am in now doesn't feel right, it feels as if that it's all fake, and what I experienced that night was the closest I've ever been to the true reality. and as time passes I long to get back into that true reality
I'd just like to say that even though this was a very traumatic experience for me it was probably the most significant event in my life.
----
This happened in April,2006, just coming up for my 17th birthday. I was not a bluelighter yet and very uneducated about drugs.. Following the British standard I would binge every weekend. At the time we had some very dirty pills that were adulterated with Meth, and probably some unknown RC. Over the weekend I consumed a total of 38-42 pills. (4 day weekend) It was Monday, everyone was on a comedown. me and my cousin were sitting in a closet hallucinating for the first time. My other cousin was having bad bad spasms and not making any sense when he was talking. I was enjoying toying with the hallucinations, I would stare at a loose screw on the wall and it would eventually grow wings and start flying about. I was fascinated by the hallucinations and sat in the closet most of the day toying with them. As the day went buy the hallucinations grew stronger. by the end of the night I was able to manipulate it and create full blown dragons and such.
The night was approaching and since we just got a fresh oz. of weed we decided to do a smoke. Got out the gravity bong and started taking hit after hit, I was on my 7th hit or something when the UV light was put on. I stared up at the sealing and noticed that it looked very pixilated, as I stared at it I realized I could manipulate the colours and done this for a while. I'd been smoking weed for about 2 years and had never hallucinated before..So I figured the ecstasy was still effecting me. This is when I lost control, I started painting people with my eyes and frantically laughing. I could tell people were weirded out by the way I was acting [I'm usually very calm even on large quantities of anything]
Suddenly I got tunnel vision and was like the whole world was in fast foward and I couldn't control anything. It was like where you see someone that is really drunk in a movie walking around a party making an arse of himself.
I don't remember what happened in between but I remember coming out of some sort of dimension. I was in the middle of the universe headed towards a giant photoalbum of my life it zoomed into one of me standing outside the Flat looking up at the window, this was only for a few moments and then suddenly I was back in my own body. Gravity felt as if it was coming from the left, I felt as if chains were being dragged throughout my entire body [at the time I thought I was made out of sand and was being dragged through time but chains being dragged through body is a more accurate description]
The chains were the most horrific pain I had ever felt in my life. I vaugly remember feeling as if I was being bent through a dimension. The Deja-Vu was so immense that I was convinced that time was repeating itself. I kept repeating the phrase "No Heaven, No God" which I suppose is what freaked out my friends the most.
Whenever I would clench my fists the dragged effect would stop, but then continue in the other direction. I eventually gave up, the pain was too much, I was convinced that life was pointless and repetitive and that I knew what happened in death, I wanted to die. I asked each one of my friends individually to kill me, and then in a last desperate attempt asked for an ambulance [at the time I somehow thought "the ambulance people are nice, they'll kill me]
At this time I regained some control of my thoughts/what I was saying. I sat on the end of the couch, giving in to the chains, moving back in forth in direction with them. I went though periods of heavy sweating. My cousin gave me a glass of water to calm me down, he asked for the glass back incase and lost it and started attacking people [I am one of the stronger people in the group] But I could not let go, My hand was gripped tightly on it and I couldn't release it..my cousin eventually had to squeeze it out.
The ambulance people arrived and looked quiet disgusted with me. They practically carried me downstairs and put me in a wheelchair. I remember sitting in the ambulance and all I could see was a look of disappointment in my cousins face.
Next thing I know a nurse is escorting me into a room in a hospital, she tells me to lie down on the bed and leaves, forwhatever reason I thought to myself "fuck you im not lying on the bed, im gonna sit on the chair"
I don't remember anything after that until the car ride home.
I was sitting in the car and I could stop time. I done it once and was horrified in case I got stuck in between. I couldn't hear what anyone was saying, my uncle was trying to talk to me but I couldn't hear anything for periods of time and then I seemed as if all the sound I had missed from that period came at once in one jumbled up second. My Memory goes blank again.
I'm now sitting on my couch in my living room, my dad is looking down at me in disgust. everyone was trying to talk to me but all the sounds now sounded muffled and I could hear the Prodigy playing. I was looking around trying to see where it was coming from when eventually I realized I must of been imagining it. Time was repeating itself again. I heard my uncle say "Right I'll smoke one more cigarette than I'll go" I watched him smoke that cigarette seven times. I remained calm because I knew I was just hallucinating and really didn't want to freak out in front of my parents.
They gave me a blanket and I slept on the couch that night.
That entire week I got visual and aural hallucinations. Sleep Paralysis almost every night, jaw chattering and the general sense of being "out of it"
At the time I swore off all drugs claiming "drugs shouldn't be able to do that shit to you" but as time passed I have learned alot from this experience, not only about drug abuse but about the universe, meaning of life, etc. Ever since that day the reality I am in now doesn't feel right, it feels as if that it's all fake, and what I experienced that night was the closest I've ever been to the true reality. and as time passes I long to get back into that true reality
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