Bauer095
Bluelight Crew
Before the fateful weekend that changed my views on MDMA for- a week or so….I had only tried ecstasy once, in the form of a molly capsule. Needless to say that experience was amazing but I did not feel an immediate need to roll again, and so E would become nothing more than a fond memory for about a year.
Then, when my area started to get flooded with those delicious red apples, I found out that I would be able to pick some up and decided to go for it, and snagged about 15 of those suckers.
The very night I got them it was time to roll. And so the three of us, myself, Z, and P, each popped a couple while everyone else worked on getting drunk.
Time was never a factor in this trip which is how I like it, I find that clocks/watches can only add to frustration, i.e. “why aren’t I coming up yet?” or “damn it’s almost over![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
”, so I will only describe the events as I remember them happening.
Soon after popping we smoked some hash out of the bong and that calmed my nerves considerably. Soon I started coming up and could tell that this was somehow different from molly, but different in a good way….a very good way. With most of the lights off I could feel myself gradually slipping farther and farther into the control of the E, I would turn my head in this direction or that, and everything in my line of sight seemed as though it were just painted there and the paint wasn’t quite dry yet—and by turning my head I was smudging up reality. As I walked around to talk with everyone else that was there (around 15-20 people in all), I was convinced that I didn’t need my legs to move and was just kind of cruising around. My expectations for this night are already far exceeded.
Then, when the drunks left for the night, we decided it was time to pop another bean. So we did (one friend snorted his) and started blasting the music, which brought P’s brother out from his room, and this is where the real craziness began.
J, a former raver, knew all the best roll tricks, airplanes, falling through the floor, etc., and was happy to show them to us. Then he suggested he show us something he had been working on which is basically harnessing energy with your body to do crazy shit with. Ex: we would stand on one side of the room and he would stand on the other and be able to knock us off balance just by slowly moving towards us, never touching us. This really blew my mind and J said he would show me how to do it, so we each popped another roll to get ready.
The next thing I know he is showing me how to harness my energy and hold it in my hand, and P even said he could see a glowing green box in my hands when I did it, daaaank
. What happened next I’m really not sure, but I was practicing using that harnessed energy to knock J off balance with my eyes closed. I wondered what it would look like if I opened my eyes, and so I did and looked down at my body and over at J’s body, and absolutely freaked out. Where my torso should have usually met with my legs/hips, there was nothing. Instead the lower half of my body was completely shifted to my right, and when I looked closely I could see that it was connected to my upper half only by some stretchy substance that seemed ready to break. J’s body was doing the same. I dropped the energy ball (green box) and snapped out of it. I think since I was rolling so hard I was able to shake it off, but it definitely left me drained.
After this we foolishly decided to pop yet another pill and chill out for a while. By this point the additional pills were obviously doing nothing for us other than tweaking us out but we didn’t notice/care. We eventually threw on some quieter music and settled in to watch a movie and pass out.
The next 2 days are just a minor stain on my memory, but basically I consumed about 5 more rolls over the course of the next 36 hours, all of which did barely more than make me feel lightheaded for an hour or so and then I would just be pissed off (obviously). After the 3rd day, and at this point I knew nothing of comedowns, I became really depressed, and had crazy mood swings, alternating from angry to horribly sad. I yelled at my friends and considered killing myself.
Finally after about a week I felt semi-normal again and decided that this was a sign from God that I had to change my life. I had plans to go get a brain scan to see how much damage drugs had done to my brain and for it to be a reminder to me never to use again. I also thought I would start going to church again and actually try to care about it this time.
Of course none of that ever happened once I realized how silly it was and that it was my own retarded fault for abusing the drug. I also thought about how incredible my memories would have been if I had just stopped after the first night and been satisfied at that. So my goal changed to never abusing ecstasy again and keeping it fun for as long as possible. And due to the memories of this experience—how poorly I treated those who care about me—I have never since taken more than one roll in a night and have had an amazing time, every time.
Then, when my area started to get flooded with those delicious red apples, I found out that I would be able to pick some up and decided to go for it, and snagged about 15 of those suckers.
The very night I got them it was time to roll. And so the three of us, myself, Z, and P, each popped a couple while everyone else worked on getting drunk.
Time was never a factor in this trip which is how I like it, I find that clocks/watches can only add to frustration, i.e. “why aren’t I coming up yet?” or “damn it’s almost over
”, so I will only describe the events as I remember them happening.Soon after popping we smoked some hash out of the bong and that calmed my nerves considerably. Soon I started coming up and could tell that this was somehow different from molly, but different in a good way….a very good way. With most of the lights off I could feel myself gradually slipping farther and farther into the control of the E, I would turn my head in this direction or that, and everything in my line of sight seemed as though it were just painted there and the paint wasn’t quite dry yet—and by turning my head I was smudging up reality. As I walked around to talk with everyone else that was there (around 15-20 people in all), I was convinced that I didn’t need my legs to move and was just kind of cruising around. My expectations for this night are already far exceeded.
Then, when the drunks left for the night, we decided it was time to pop another bean. So we did (one friend snorted his) and started blasting the music, which brought P’s brother out from his room, and this is where the real craziness began.
J, a former raver, knew all the best roll tricks, airplanes, falling through the floor, etc., and was happy to show them to us. Then he suggested he show us something he had been working on which is basically harnessing energy with your body to do crazy shit with. Ex: we would stand on one side of the room and he would stand on the other and be able to knock us off balance just by slowly moving towards us, never touching us. This really blew my mind and J said he would show me how to do it, so we each popped another roll to get ready.
The next thing I know he is showing me how to harness my energy and hold it in my hand, and P even said he could see a glowing green box in my hands when I did it, daaaank
. What happened next I’m really not sure, but I was practicing using that harnessed energy to knock J off balance with my eyes closed. I wondered what it would look like if I opened my eyes, and so I did and looked down at my body and over at J’s body, and absolutely freaked out. Where my torso should have usually met with my legs/hips, there was nothing. Instead the lower half of my body was completely shifted to my right, and when I looked closely I could see that it was connected to my upper half only by some stretchy substance that seemed ready to break. J’s body was doing the same. I dropped the energy ball (green box) and snapped out of it. I think since I was rolling so hard I was able to shake it off, but it definitely left me drained.After this we foolishly decided to pop yet another pill and chill out for a while. By this point the additional pills were obviously doing nothing for us other than tweaking us out but we didn’t notice/care. We eventually threw on some quieter music and settled in to watch a movie and pass out.
The next 2 days are just a minor stain on my memory, but basically I consumed about 5 more rolls over the course of the next 36 hours, all of which did barely more than make me feel lightheaded for an hour or so and then I would just be pissed off (obviously). After the 3rd day, and at this point I knew nothing of comedowns, I became really depressed, and had crazy mood swings, alternating from angry to horribly sad. I yelled at my friends and considered killing myself.
Finally after about a week I felt semi-normal again and decided that this was a sign from God that I had to change my life. I had plans to go get a brain scan to see how much damage drugs had done to my brain and for it to be a reminder to me never to use again. I also thought I would start going to church again and actually try to care about it this time.
Of course none of that ever happened once I realized how silly it was and that it was my own retarded fault for abusing the drug. I also thought about how incredible my memories would have been if I had just stopped after the first night and been satisfied at that. So my goal changed to never abusing ecstasy again and keeping it fun for as long as possible. And due to the memories of this experience—how poorly I treated those who care about me—I have never since taken more than one roll in a night and have had an amazing time, every time.
