I need to understand more about the whole Control thing of all this... I have this friend who has admitted to me she was sexually abused. She hates men now. And she might even be so antagonistic towards men that she is confused about her sexuality. And she has been struggling with an ED, but she won't talk about specifics to me (me being a guy and all; I think I trigger her, because she goes into hiding a lot after periods when we are close or remotely romantic... Sucks..), and anyway, I just.. I don't understand. And I want to. Because I love her. And I might be in love with her.. And I don't even honestly think it's healthy that I love her. Because, I guess I'm honest enough with myself to realize that I'm recklessly attracted to sickness.. I like skinny girls, too skinny for society, and I've had difficult relationships in the past with both another girl with anorexia, and also with a meth addict. And since I want these girls to like me, even though I don't condone their behaviors, secretly, I kinda do.. And I probably subconsciously and subliminally show it.. And I know it makes me sucky. And I hate that I allow it. But I want her to like me, ya know? And if I take a stand (because of course, more than I kinda relish the depravity, I want them to be happy and healthy and loved), but I'm afraid that confrontation will steal them from me.. And then, when she's doing well, I can't even compliment her, because she hates it, and she hears it from everyone all day everywhere anyway, and she knows it (especially because she's got a special kind of look to her, too; damn stunted development; why's that so common? Ughh, Rrrrggghh...), and I know I suck and all that, but I can't help it. Jeeze, I'm rambling.. and I'm mixing up girls now; sometimes I feel like they're all the same person, just in different bodies. Every girl I've ever loved has been basically the same at the core, the same foundations, just with differying scenery and dresses, and oh man.. I've had a weird day, and I feel confused I guess, and I just only came to this subforum for the first time today, and I need to know more. I need to understand better please...