TDS Eating Disorders Megathread

[Tootsie]

Ugh, I wish I had health insurance.

 

[n3ophy7e]

I'm going to close this thread because it's reached 1,000 posts but we'll continue discussion in a new thread

 

[molly897]

i've had an ED for two years and in may when i went to the hospital i tried getting better but have not had an appetite. since march i'd say i've been waking up with extreme hunger pains every morning. i also wake up extremely dehydrated, lightheaded and dizzy.

as of lately it's gotten worse. i don't have much fat on me. when i lean to the side my ribs hit my hip bones and it causes great pain. i literally cannot eat. when i go the bathroom the room gets brighter and everything glows in an orange tint. after i get out it takes me 10 minutes of drinking/trying to eat to catch my breathe/stop pacing/face itching etc.

i'm not purposely doing this. i don't do drugs. i'm crying everyday cause i want to eat so bad, and am so hungry, but can't. i can't fit in clothes. my skin dries out if i go a night without drinking. i can't lose any more weight i am withering away to a certain extent.

i made myself down two slim fast shakes today and felt better but i still cant eat anything solid. was going to go to the hospital to get an IV but what really is the point? i dont know what to do

thanks for any help

 

[SDforever420]

I know you said you dont do drugs but i would try smoking a bowl of some good herb. It ALWAYS helps me eat. I wont eat much sober but on weed i could eat my fridge and half. But if you dont wanna do that then go to the doctor

 

[b4rd]

I know you said you dont do drugs but i would try smoking a bowl of some good herb. It ALWAYS helps me eat. I wont eat much sober but on weed i could eat my fridge and half. But if you dont wanna do that then go to the doctor

Yes, I was actually thinking the same thing.

One of the most medicinal properties of marijuana is the fact that it will help you eat. Cancer patients use it to eat, because their chemo meds cause them such severe nausea.

 

[rollinindacity]

"Highly agree"^^^^^
I find it helps with my depression. When im depressed I dont even want to see, smell, taste, or think about food. I was 171 and dropped down to 145 in like 3 weeks. All because everything hit me at once. After I vaporize, about 30 minutes. I get real hungry and beef up. Lol. Not to mention feeling relaxed and happy afterwards. But everyone's different.

 

[Bojangles69]

Yeh but you guys are merely addressing a symptom, not the core of the disease. She might smoke pot, get hungry, then easily feel worse if she continues to not eat. Its not that she doesn't feel hunger (half her post was about how hungry she is) its that she CAN'T EAT.

That is the core problem with eating disorders. Eating makes her feel sick/anxious. I have a mild relation with eating disorders myself after I stopped taking speed. For w/e reason it fucked up both my fundamental ability to eat and to want to have sex. Either activity would cause me extreme anxiety. And at the time I was put on zyprexa the zyprexa made me SO HUNGRY that I couldn't resist my natural urge to starve myself anymore. Theres all sorts of reasons why this can be going on.
I most likely believe its because she recently stopped doing drugs (didn't you say that molly?) and her eating disorder is how she copes with newfound stress. Its a defense for something although she may not realize it.

Molly you are a smoking hot girl, and your skinniness is something I'm obviously attracted. And that is a lot of what I believe plays into the disorder.
In society women have "power" simply by the way they look. A womans looks gives her the ability to manipulate men, and their surroundings in general to get what they want. Lets face it skinny/attractive women get jobs more often, get higher paid salaries, and are more likely to find a mate with more financial resources. Theres tons of reasons in this world for a woman to have an eating disorder.

I'm sensing on some level you feel powerless, and are subconsciously using your eating disorder as an attempt to have more control/power in your life. You need to address the core of what is making you feel out of control or like you don't have power in life. Something tells me you also have a passive/compliant personality (it goes with locust of control). Its just a guess but its also common for those aggressive energies to be exhausted on the disorder itself.

I highly suggest you find either a therapist or a clinic that specialized in eating disorders. Have you ever tried before? The "simple" solution would obviously be to start eating more healthy, and take up a gym membership (to supplement the control maybe) but something tells me you already thought about that.
Could you maybe elaborate more in general about WHY you think you have an eating disorder. Maybe a history of when it started and what was going on in your life at the time? I mean these are basic questions a therapist would ask I cant help you like a therapist could in real life but if you feel like throwing out more information go for it...

 

[molly897]

thank you for the replies. i smoke alot of weed everyday but i really don't get that much hungrier or even high. i think my serotonin is still depleted, it would explain why weed isn't getting me that high. i know i could take a break but weed helps with the anxiety that represses from not being able to eat i have considered anti depressants to help with the hunger, i just wish i was hungry right NOW.

Yeh but you guys are merely addressing a symptom, not the core of the disease. She might smoke pot, get hungry, then easily feel worse if she continues to not eat. Its not that she doesn't feel hunger (half her post was about how hungry she is) its that she CAN'T EAT.

That is the core problem with eating disorders. Eating makes her feel sick/anxious. I have a mild relation with eating disorders myself after I stopped taking speed. For w/e reason it fucked up both my fundamental ability to eat and to want to have sex. Either activity would cause me extreme anxiety. And at the time I was put on zyprexa the zyprexa made me SO HUNGRY that I couldn't resist my natural urge to starve myself anymore. Theres all sorts of reasons why this can be going on.
I most likely believe its because she recently stopped doing drugs (didn't you say that molly?) and her eating disorder is how she copes with newfound stress. Its a defense for something although she may not realize it.

Molly you are a smoking hot girl, and your skinniness is something I'm obviously attracted to. And that is a lot of what I believe plays into the disorder.
In society women have "power" simply by the way they look. A womans looks gives her the ability to manipulate men, and their surroundings in general to get what they want. Lets face it skinny/attractive women get jobs more often, get higher paid salaries, and are more likely to find a mate with more financial resources. Theres tons of reasons in this world for a woman to have an eating disorder.

I'm sensing on some level you feel powerless, and are subconsciously using your eating disorder as an attempt to have more control/power in your life. You need to address the core of what is making you feel out of control or like you don't have power in life. Something tells me you also have a passive/compliant personality. Its just a guess but its also common for those aggressive energies to be exhausted on the disorder itself.

I highly suggest you find either a therapist or a clinic that specialized in eating disorders. Have you ever tried before? The "simple" solution would obviously be to start eating more healthy, and take up a gym membership (to supplement the control maybe) but something tells me you already thought about that.
Could you maybe elaborate more in general about WHY you think you have an eating disorder. Maybe a history of when it started and what was going on in your life at the time? I mean these are basic questions a therapist would ask I cant help you like a therapist could in real life but if you feel like throwing out more information go for it...

believe me, you are spot on as to why my eating disorder started but for the last 3 months, at the very least, i have been trying so hard to be better. i still smoke weed, i just stopped all hard drugs. in the end i was taking adderall to eat. i think my body is trying to readjust to how i would eat before drugs (which was still very minimal), from practically eating nothing for days on end. if i eat a small meal i will be in pain on the floor crying from the chest pains.

thank you for the compliment. my boyfriend has made me comfortable enough with him long enough that i haven't cared if i gain weight. that's why this is so hard because i genuinely want to eat but i think it's a problem with my health at this point. i'm probably just thinking the worst but i've been feeling like shit too long for something not to be up..? therapy sounds great but what can they tell me or understand that my boyfriend can't? i'm not praising him by any means but i feel i will leave the office everytime feeling ripped off like i have in the past. i just want to have an appetite normally. why the hell don't i like food? it's just mind blowing. i dont need to talk about my past to anyone, i dont need a new friend. i just want to eat. maybe i do need to talk to someone but again i just feel i'd leave extremely pissed off. i really do want to get back on anti depressants which i have never really gave a shot. what was that medication you took for specifically?

PS my looks have gotten me nowhere. i'm basically a hermit i have no job no friends and i still have never worn a bathing suit in public. it started with perception but now it's just so routine it's a lifestyle almost

 

[Bojangles69]

Wow I'm very surprised you mentioned that about adderal. I myself had to take speed to eat which sounds crazy to a lot of people.
But adderal/speed both affect very fundamental regions in your brain that control appetite/sex and other natural impulses. I actually went through the worst part of my own "disorder" when I got off speed, and I don't remember eating for like 6 months after I stopped. I weighed 115lbs and have pictures of what I looked like back then, its scary for a guy to be that light as athletic as I tried to be.

And I have a TON do say about therapy and what they can do specifically that a bf can't. Its actually a lot but I'd rather show you with examples later on. I have a clinical therapy class to attend right now lol.

But I seriously wanna help you when I get back this all sounds extremely familiar to me. I can also explain that "ripped off" thing that could mean 1 of 2 things in reality but it depends on how long you were actually in therapy and how long the person was doing therapy themself (I always find older therapist are better from personal experience). Which is why its important to not just get referals but to do your own interogation of the therapist you're meeting.

edit: one more thing, you said you don't "wanna talk about your past", getting a clients history should only happen the second time you meet a therapist. There are various different types of therapies, and I have a feeling you merely saw a psychoanalyst/psychotherapist. They will do that stuff but theres still better things to know. As far as the med that I took I'll tell you more specifically what I did, but I need time to voice all my warnings along with it. Which I don't have time to do right now. bbl!

 

[molly897]

wow... that is dangerously low especially cause of your height presumably. that's the best way to explain it for me as well. i couldn't tell you what i ate yesterday if i tried. i'm asked everyday and what i can remember sounds so pathetic. i'm going on the 5th month of still being fucked up, so it really does sound familiar. it never crossed my mind when i was doing drugs or not eating what the repercussions would be when i stopped. were you injecting speed? i'm so grateful adderall never affected my sex drive, god i never even thought about that. looking back i feel so stupid, especially cause everyone around me looks at me and feels bad. cause they know how hard i tried to be this skinny so no one says anything except in reality im in too much pain to get out of bed in the morning and i kinda wish someone would just admit me to the hospital so i could get an IV again and feel better. sigh

you are right as well i have not seen a therapist, but just exactly what you said. i really hate the formalities, it makes me feel really worthless and dispensable. which is why i say what can they do that my boyfriend can't, not cause he has all the answers but because i know he cares when he talks to me and asks me questions. i could vent so long if given the opportunity at 100 miles a minute, but everything would come out the wrong way or i would be perceived wrong unless explained further and further and i just never think anyone believes me or cares

i would definitely love to hear your experiences though with therapy/in general, so please let me know i appreciate your help thank you. hope your meeting goes well

 

[ranunky]

i think you should stop smoking weed. It disturbs the body's natural hunger pathway. when i smoked weed heavily my body developed a tolerance and I actually lost weight. I couldn't eat at all without weed and that is not natural. I felt sick and my gut was in knots for weeks when I first bit into on the cake of sobriety but believe me I am lot healthier for it, I have a real appetite again!

It is very hard I know.

 

[Bojangles69]

wow... that is dangerously low especially cause of your height presumably. that's the best way to explain it for me as well. i couldn't tell you what i ate yesterday if i tried. i'm asked everyday and what i can remember sounds so pathetic. i'm going on the 5th month of still being fucked up, so it really does sound familiar. it never crossed my mind when i was doing drugs or not eating what the repercussions would be when i stopped. were you injecting speed? i'm so grateful adderall never affected my sex drive, god i never even thought about that. looking back i feel so stupid, especially cause everyone around me looks at me and feels bad. cause they know how hard i tried to be this skinny so no one says anything except in reality im in too much pain to get out of bed in the morning and i kinda wish someone would just admit me to the hospital so i could get an IV again and feel better. sigh

you are right as well i have not seen a therapist, but just exactly what you said. i really hate the formalities, it makes me feel really worthless and dispensable. which is why i say what can they do that my boyfriend can't, not cause he has all the answers but because i know he cares when he talks to me and asks me questions. i could vent so long if given the opportunity at 100 miles a minute, but everything would come out the wrong way or i would be perceived wrong unless explained further and further and i just never think anyone believes me or cares

i would definitely love to hear your experiences though with therapy/in general, so please let me know i appreciate your help thank you. hope your meeting goes well

Hey Molly I already typed out like a 2 page response but I don't wanna post it yets its saved in word. I brought this entire topic up in class and got some professional advice along with some other stuff I wanna tell you.

But apparently amphetamines can actually trigger anorexia. And once you stop the amphetamines, the anorexia stays. Now IF you had anorexia prior to amphetamine abuse, what you had essentially was a brain that was ALREADY modeled in a similar way to what speed/adderal does to it. So using adderal from what I heard will often aggravate/make worse the disorder. The thing is though, whether your ON or OFF it should be the same way. Amphetamines merely keep provoking it.
Thats why I wanna clear something up with you and this is important. But when YOU FIRST STARTED using adderal, it suppressed (not stimulated) your appetite right? And it wasn't till you were on it a while that you were able to eat?
I just wanna make sure I understand you correctly before I copy and paste what I compiled for you. I heard the majority of people who stop amphetamines wind up putting weight on fast. But I remember not having an appetite AT ALL when I first started using speed, then it coming back towards the end. Then when I stopped completely it seems like I lost my appetite forever (although the treatment I got after the first 6 months definitely helped which I still need to get to)

I wanna get the timeline straight with you about your appetite. Can you just reiterate a bit better? We prob wasted a good 30mins today in class talking about this, and not only did I get a professionals recommendation but I also got a lot of valuable/opposing view points.

I'm still trying to filter out however whats most relevant to you. So if you could clear that up I'd appreciate it, thanks!

 

[Ixchellian]

yup, I lost my ability to eat after I quit doing opiates and speed. not that I ate much to begin with, and now as you say, I'm hungry all the time.... but just can't eat without being in pain and/or yakking. my docs tested for almost everything except crohns disease, and now im waiting on those results. evidently that can cause similar issues.

 

[Unbreakable]

Smoke some fucking weed kid.....lots of it..... munchies

i dated a couple girls with eating disorders that said they weren't hungry.... smoked them the fuck out.... and the want to order a pizza.... its magical

 

[molly897]

Hey Molly I already typed out like a 2 page response but I don't wanna post it yets its saved in word. I brought this entire topic up in class and got some professional advice along with some other stuff I wanna tell you.

But apparently amphetamines can actually trigger anorexia. And once you stop the amphetamines, the anorexia stays. Now IF you had anorexia prior to amphetamine abuse, what you had essentially was a brain that was ALREADY modeled in a similar way to what speed/adderal does to it. So using adderal from what I heard will often aggravate/make worse the disorder. The thing is though, whether your ON or OFF it should be the same way. Amphetamines merely keep provoking it.
Thats why I wanna clear something up with you and this is important. But when YOU FIRST STARTED using adderal, it suppressed (not stimulated) your appetite right? And it wasn't till you were on it a while that you were able to eat?
I just wanna make sure I understand you correctly before I copy and paste what I compiled for you. I heard the majority of people who stop amphetamines wind up putting weight on fast. But I remember not having an appetite AT ALL when I first started using speed, then it coming back towards the end. Then when I stopped completely it seems like I lost my appetite forever (although the treatment I got after the first 6 months definitely helped which I still need to get to)

I wanna get the timeline straight with you about your appetite. Can you just reiterate a bit better? We prob wasted a good 30mins today in class talking about this, and not only did I get a professionals recommendation but I also got a lot of valuable/opposing view points.

I'm still trying to filter out however whats most relevant to you. So if you could clear that up I'd appreciate it, thanks!

thank you so much for doing that, I really appreciate it. everything you posted is really interesting and I would love to hear your reply... I really do appreciate it you bringing that up with a professional. I always read your appetite came back after a while of taking adderall but mine never did. I ended up being in so much physical pain from not eating enough or drinking in general that I was taking it to mask the pain of not being able to physically eat at that point. adderall never made me hungry whatsoever just merely allowed me to eat. i'm going to the hospital in a half hour. i was up til 3:30 in pain and shortness of breath that i couldn't go to sleep. i ate nothing yesterday. and drank hardly anything. bleh

yup, I lost my ability to eat after I quit doing opiates and speed. not that I ate much to begin with, and now as you say, I'm hungry all the time.... but just can't eat without being in pain and/or yakking. my docs tested for almost everything except crohns disease, and now im waiting on those results. evidently that can cause similar issues.

thank you for your input, I am going to get checked fully as well this morning

Smoke some fucking weed kid.....lots of it..... munchies

i dated a couple girls with eating disorders that said they weren't hungry.... smoked them the fuck out.... and the want to order a pizza.... its magical

no bueno.. been smoking everyday for a year and a half, doesn't do anything. i need a break or to quit

 

[n3ophy7e]

Hey molly, you mentioned that you're not currently seeing a therapist. Therapy can be so much more than just sitting there and talking about your problems, trained therapists can provide you with effective coping strategies for your thought patterns so that you can overcome the mental and emotional pathways which lead to you resisting food. Your boyfriend is an invaluable source of support but a therapist can also be a very useful part of your support network. And it sounds like in the position you're in right now you should definitely at least try some therapy hun

 

[molly897]

thanks again

my problem isn't that i don't want to eat though. i went to the doctor and got diagnosed with gastroentitus disease, an acid reflux disease. he said it's caused by very long term infrequent eating in my case. he said the acid in my stomach is eating my insides up my esophagus cuz there's no food. he put me on some stuff to fight it and then i got a shot of promethezine in my ass. hurts like hell but worked in a minute. i was puking up foam and blood at the hospital 4 times.. so horrible. i feel ok now. still feel like shit cause i haven;t eaten but atleast the nauseas gone

he's going to put me on remeron next time which is a sleep aid that helps with gaining weight. but i still can't eat! ahhh

 

[sid3]

I saw you had a couple slim fast the other day, that' better than nothing. Ensure is good too when trying to get better. Whatever you are able to manage to eat, make sure it's the highest in protien and such, like eggs, canned tuna etc. You'll probably find it easier to pick at food throughout the day than eat regular meals. It's not easy, I've seen a family member suffer from the same thing. Although it took a few weeks, she overcame it and started feeling much better soon thereafter. Good to hear you didnt screw around and went to the hospital, smart. Hope you're on the way to feel better.

 

[n3ophy7e]

I saw you had a couple slim fast the other day, that' better than nothing. Ensure is good too when trying to get better. Whatever you are able to manage to eat, make sure it's the highest in protien and such, like eggs, canned tuna etc. You'll probably find it easier to pick at food throughout the day than eat regular meals.

This is great advice. Yoghurt may be good as well, goes down easily and doesn't make you feel full, plus it's a good source of protein and calcium.

thanks again

my problem isn't that i don't want to eat though. i went to the doctor and got diagnosed with gastroentitus disease, an acid reflux disease. he said it's caused by very long term infrequent eating in my case. he said the acid in my stomach is eating my insides up my esophagus cuz there's no food. he put me on some stuff to fight it and then i got a shot of promethezine in my ass. hurts like hell but worked in a minute. i was puking up foam and blood at the hospital 4 times.. so horrible. i feel ok now. still feel like shit cause i haven;t eaten but atleast the nauseas gone

he's going to put me on remeron next time which is a sleep aid that helps with gaining weight. but i still can't eat! ahhh

Yeah I hear ya hun. Good luck with the remeron, let us know how it goes

 

[belarki]

^ yep keep us up to date with the remeron. It's an odd antidepressant; I found it more effective than a few of the SSRI/SNRIs I tried. It is kind of sedating, weaker than a benzo, perhaps similar to some sedating antihistamines. I put on a fair bit of weight while I was on it (I think I was on 30mg over about a year but also on effexor/zoloft at the same time).

Best of luck with it!