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TDS Eating Disorders Megathread

Perpetual Indulgence said:
Your doc made a decision you didn't want to hear.
Focus your energy elsewhere.
Click to expand...

I am. I have redirected my anger toward her to the medical industry (specifically the psychiatric dept). I have already began my work ...

and it's not that I didn't want to hear anything. SHE didn't want to hear me. She was a stubborn woman who didn't understand anything of what she was talking about.
 
True that. Just like until then how will I treat my anxiety, you know? She screwed me over by cutting me off completely (and that's not even SAFE to do). Hypocrite.
 
*bump*

How's everyone doing in here??

I'm assuming (hoping) that the lack of activity in here the last couple of months indicates that we're all doing okay <3

I'm facing a huge challenge at the moment, I'm gaining weight SO fast because I've had 2 major sports injuries in the last 2 months. I was only just (a week) recovered from my 1st injury enough to run properly, then I sprained my ankle. Now I can't run, cycle, or even swim to burn calories!! I am gaining fat at an alarming rate and I'm almost completely freaking out.

It is taking all my mental strength not to relapse in to my old ways...

But I have to be super-patient and wait for my ankle to heal before I jump back in to the fitness regime.

In the meantime I seriously want to crawl in to a hole and die :(


Sending all my love and strength to those in this thread who need it <3
 
It's been an absolute age since I've been in here. Wow.

n3o-- Sorry to hear about your troubles. Not being able to work out really does make not eating tempting, but you need to remember that you (like most women) still look wonderful even with a bit of added weight. As long as your dimples don't get filled in, you'll still light up any room, I'm sure. Besides, you're driven; once you're rehabbed and ready to go, you'll be lean again in no time.

I've been quite good with eating lately; mostly by ensuring that I have just the right amount of good, healthy food around. The closest thing to junk food at my place is a container of fruit yoghurt and a small stash of German chocolate that I've been rationing out.

I still obsess about food, but I've managed to mostly focus the obsession on health rather than appearance. Although I am trying a cutting diet for the first time, I'm making very certain not to restrict my calories below sedentary maintenance level, and am trying out a modified carb cycle to get quick results without ketosis or starvation. Haven't binged in ages, and even managed to eat sensibly over the holiday.
 
i went through a period of time between august and november where i didnt eat above 700 calories and lost some weight. Recently ive been binging on any and all kinds of junk food. Its tapered off the past couple days since ive been dieting.
 
^^ Hi peepsqueek, welcome to the thread hun.
Please be careful with that cycle of binging/starving. It's really unhealthy and can be very dangerous for your internal organs.
Try to focus on eating regular healthy meals. Do you do any exercise?


Thanks so much for your kind words Dave <3

That's so great to hear you're doing well with your eating/obsession. It really sounds like you've found a good balance, and a healthy outlet for the obsessive thoughts. Be careful with not getting too carried away with the strict calory counting, and be wary of "quick results" dieting.
You know this though, you know what you're doing :) <3
 
i've tried to be good recently, but i've purged about 3 times.

i've come to realize that i'm not really binging anymore....i consume about 1200-1500 calories a day, which is about average for a fairly inactive girl standing 5 foot 3.

i just feel guilty about food consumption that is necessary for survival.

while i've gotten my binging/purging mostly under control (sans the past months small relapse), i really need to work on my perception of food.

any tips? what have you done to help heal your relationship with edibles?
 
I was trying to decide where I should put this since it encompasses a lot of issues talked about in TDS, but it all started with body image, so I guess I will put it here.

I've talked about how I gained a lot of weight when I got clean off heroin and that obviously didn't help my already present body image issues. I was looking in the mirror the other day and I was just overwhelmed by how disgusting I looked. I just kept grabbing at all my fat and thinking what a terrible person I was for looking like this. I know that looks =/= being a terrible person, but those were the thoughts going through my head. I had a very strong urge to cut, but I was able to stop myself.

The next day, I started getting very anxious about my appearance and again had the urge to cut. I wasn't able to resist this time.

Today, I was feeling bad about cutting, and I started getting an overwhelming urge to cop some heroin. Instead of doing this, I ordered some food and totally overindulged. Feeling absolutely horrible about this, I ended up binging and the purging.

I feel even more miserable now and I still want to do dope :(
 
xxkcxx - I found a quote that really applies to our situations.

Because you are in control of your life. Don’t ever forget that. You are what you are because of the conscious and subconscious choices you have made.
– Barbara Hall
Click to expand...

I find every day is still a struggle, even after 14 years. It's not as much of a struggle as it once was, but it's still there. And I fear it will be for the rest of my time on this Earth.
All I can do is make good choices on this day and be proud of those good choices.

Eat healthful and energy-giving meals. Envisage it feeding your soul, your brain and you body and enabling you to get the most out of this day. Work out as much as you feel you need to (without over-doing it). Smile, laugh and enjoy something. Every day.

It helps. :)
 
^ that quote is great.


I put it as my facebook status as a reminder and a little motivation for my friends too :)


Thanks, C0TB <3
 
bumping this cause i am really struggling. I hope the fact it was so far down means that others are doing well <3


I've been super depressed and my ED and SI were getting really bad and I was getting suicidal. I checked myself into the hospital, but since I don't have insurance, I only got 5 days from charity. They did switch my meds, so I hope that helps.

My ED is about as bad as it has ever gotten. I'm obsessed with food. I've been forcing myself to eat but I feel terribly guilty and anxious about it.

My mind is full of negative thoughts, particularly since I don't LOOK like I have an ED (I'm far from underweight), I feel like I don't deserve to get treatment or honestly, to be concerned at the fact I'm not eating. I hate talking about because I feel like other people are thinking the same thing about me.
 
I wish i could offer better words of advice

but do to lack of knowledge/experience regarding talking about EDs i dont know what to tell ya

but i do know that you are an attractive young girl who despite some hardships do seem to have some things goin for ya and i because you post pics and are generally interesting i feel more of a connection and it just saddens me to hear about your feelings.

For whatever its worth i think you are beautiful and have a wonderful personality

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mACqcZZwG0k

Sometimes this helps me when im feelin down. its not much but sometimes i can get caught up enough in the music that i forget about all else
 
kc I am so sorry to hear you're struggling hun :(

This is the awful thing about eating disorders. They are such an insipid and evil disorder, because you know it's not right or healthy, but your mind keeps telling you these bad things about yourself. It is really hard to overcome on your own.

It sounds like you really need to consider some counselling kc, if this particular episode is continuing on and only getting worse/more engrained, it will be harder to lift yourself out of it without help from a professional.

Do you have any opportunity at all to see a counsellor? Perhaps a charity organisation or your local community center could offer you a free counselling session? I'm not sure what things like that are available in your area.

In the meantime, you have to try to break the habits you're in with food and eating. It's great that you're actually eating despite your fear of doing so, that shows great strength to overcome your negative thoughts like that. But you need to train your brain to process those thoughts in a less destructive way. It's hard but it can be done.

You ARE beautiful, both inside and out, and you ARE a strong and worthy person. You need to believe it hun <3
 
well, I was actually in the hospital last week for suicidal ideation, the cutting, and the ED. I got hooked up with a counselor that works on a sliding scale since I do not have insurance. I have an in person assessment next Friday and hopefully my actually appointment won't be much longer after that. They are also going to hook me up with a psychiatrist. While I was in the hospital, they added bupropion to my Zoloft, so hopefully that will start working soon (It's been 6 days today I think).
 
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