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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

TDS Eating Disorders Megathread

I just want to get back to before, i want to be 46kg again, that was me, and then now me is still here, but underneath this disfiguring extra flesh, its suffocating, I needed to gain that to get through the withdrawel period of getting clean so i let it happen, its my own fault, but now that's over, i just want to be me again, not me with a mr blobby attatching and reproducing under my skin. Maybe if i eat nothing and take the sleeping pills it will take less than 4 weeks to lose 6.5kg, and then I can stop the sleeping pills before 4 weeks, the wikipaedia says to prevent addiction they should not be used for periods of time longer than 4 weeks, i think i could do it in 4 weeks.
 
I took the rest of the sleeping pills back to my friend, I'm not going to use them because you said that DW, I dont want addiction and so yeah, I have chammomile tea for when I get my period, I think I'ld need 100 cups of it for it to make me go o bed though.. maybe I should move my meals so that I'm eating a tiny something before bed, but I dont like eating just before bed because then it will be stored, but may be if its just a little bit, it will be burnt off again the next day
 
Libby said:
I took the rest of the sleeping pills back to my friend, I'm not going to use them because you said that DW, I dont want addiction and so yeah, I have chammomile tea for when I get my period, I think I'ld need 100 cups of it for it to make me go o bed though.. maybe I should move my meals so that I'm eating a tiny something before bed, but I dont like eating just before bed because then it will be stored, but may be if its just a little bit, it will be burnt off again the next day
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I promise that I have been told by numerous nutrionists/doctors that the myth that any food you eat before you go to bed going straight to being stored is that, a myth. There's no evidence to it, it's just usually a good rule to give people on a diet because they tend to consume food that they're not really hungry when they're just fucking around in the evening and bored :)
 
^oh thats the plan then, to eat a little something right before bedtime.

I'm 57.3 % water...
my scales tell me how much I weigh in Kg and they tell me my body fat percentage and my body water percentage...
And for a second I was like oh no we're suppost to be 60%, I'm 57.3% water and that means i have to drink water until it gets up to 60% and adding water will mean that my weight in kg will go up to and I will be more than what i thought I am. but then I wikipedia (I love wiki) and it says
The human body is about 60% water in adult males and 55% in adult females.
Click to expand...
so really I only need to be 55% water, which means I am 2.3% more hydrated than i should be.. but howcome I'm thirsty and want a drink of water? I sup[posedly have too much....
 
I worked in 2 protein/vitmain shakes a today...
and then some soup. Not to bad.

whats strange, is I can get my bf to take vitamins because I want him to feel better and he does. Chewable orange haha mine aren't that kind and I just end up throwing them up :( I try to eat and then its a waste...can't win
 
i am a male.. 19yo
and im discovering ive developed anorexia, among other things..
i used to be fat and the thought of it terrifies me
so now i am 6'0 and i weigh 130 pounds. I was 115 a few months ago.

I don't eat on purpose because i have a completely distorted view of what my body looks like. Everyone tells me that i'm still wayyyy to skinny, but when i look in the mirror or down at myself all i see is things i don't like.

so i will not eat much the next bunch of days. i have done this process over and over again.
i have probably 0% muscle on me. My bones, are sticking out kind of, my hips are all fucked up, my arms are sticks, my ass has completely dissappeared... idk

then ill freak out cuz im too skinny, smoke weed for 4 days and gain negative weight back, which looks ridiculous and i hate it. so its like flappy.

i hate this

i want to completley destroy my body
 
Hi Colin, you've come to the right thread <3

Have you spoken to your doctor about this?? How long has it been going on for? You don't have to live like this, you can get better. You have all our support in here so feel free to let us know how you're going, any time.

Take care <3
 
Pillthrill-

Howcome vitamins make you throw up? try a different brand,
or eat them after breakfast not on empty tummy.

When I was not eating, like at all, back when I was sick, everything made me throw upo because I was dehydrated, even a glass of water made me throw up, I had to take sips. Are you dehydrated? Also just the pills themselves can be harsh on an empty tummy so if you take it after breakfast and it doesntr make you throw up this time, that's all it was.
 
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PT, you really should be very careful about taking medications on an empty stomach because you could eventually get a stomach ulcer. I'm being slightly hypocritical saying this because I do it all the time!! 8o But I'm trying to remember not to do it.
At very least please try to eat a piece of bread or some crackers and drink some milk before you take any meds.
We have to take care of our bodies, they're the only ones we get!
<3
 
Pillthrill said:
I don't eat enough to protect my stomach from them I guess....
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I'm the same way, can't stomach any kind of medication/vitamins on an empty stomach.

I try and just time taking my meds with when I eat something, but this method fails frequently. What helps me not vomit/feel naeseous is to take them with yogurt, even if it's just one or two spoonfulls. Personally it's easier for me to handle having a spoonful of yogurt than a piece of bread, and it stops me from getting sick. Applesauce works well too, but yogurt has more nutrients and works a bit for better.

If you feel like that's too difficult, try just taking them with millk instead of water, that will help somewhat. Drinking a whole glass would be best but if you can't do even a couple sips will do something for your body... I usually don't even pour the milk out, just take one swig from the carton (I'm the only one that drinks soy milk in my apartment).
 
Libby said:
but then I wikipedia (I love wiki) and it says so really I only need to be 55% water, which means I am 2.3% more hydrated than i should be.. but howcome I'm thirsty and want a drink of water? I sup[posedly have too much....
Click to expand...

interesting u shud bring this up, libby
ive always wondered the same
i get thirstier the more water i drink - its like the more water we drink the more it dehydrates us
however this cud b to do with the additives in the (tap) water as wen i drink pump it doesnt happen to me
try pump :)
it cud also b ur bodys way of desperately trying to make up for the yrs of dehydration from P use?

as for meds on an empty stomach, im the same
i, like mia, hav to hav a bit of yoghurt (well actually a whole pot) before i can take my valium
otherwise i feel like puking
u cud try this, pillthrill - it is a gd idea

colin - i agree that u shud see a psychiatrist ASAP
u do recognise that ur view of ur body is skewed and u can see that u r too skinny some days
this sounds sort of like (now im not diagnosing u here so dont go looking it up or anything - just knew a guy with similar symptoms who suffered from it) body dysmorphia
let the psychiatrist diagnose u tho - dont start deciding uve got it yet! i hold not even a certificate in abnormal psychology

EDIT: btw i hav editted out the whole argument on the previous page concerning offensive comments - just didnt think there was any point in leaving them up, from either side
 
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Libby-- I've also been severely dehydrated and put on IVs because of it. Everyone's body is different, and the percentages you're looking at online don't neccesarily relate to what YOU'RE body needs. Coming from someone who also has an eating disorder I would say we both have a tendency to become a bit obsessed with numbers. It's great that you're taking care of your body by drying to hydrate yourself, thats definitely a huge step forward. But I'm just concerned, and may be off, from looking at your posts that the percentage/number thing may become a bit of an obsession, if you're checking it frequnently and worrying about x website said versus what y website said the number should be :(
I would say just focus on drinking as much as you can and try to rely on how your body feels... you sound like you're doing everything possible to get healthy again! :)
 
Yes I get obssessed with numbers, I was/am (when I go back to uni) a physics major. Usually I feel like mathematics is the only thing in the world that makes sense. I love numbers, even hough there are certain numbers I hate, I love working with numbers, I love calculating, I enjoy becomeing obssessed with them, and don't understand why other people don't haha.
When something bad is happening, or even things that are everyday for me, like at work, I always busy doing maths inside my head to take my mind somewhere else, to be someplace else in my mind.

Edit: Oh it's only numbers that MEAN something though, don't get me mixed up with those accountant type people, they are just plain boring, physicists are not like them, *shudders*
Of course some accountant is going to reply and be really offended now... Typically... *waits*
 
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im terrible at math, but iam fascinated by it, and numbers, it does seem to be what makes/made up our universe our earth and ourselves.

i love the thought that there are "big bangs" every second or few all the time, creating new types/forms of physics, matter, and realities that all add up to an equation that is literally light years away from our understanding, and we keep learning and discovering, just beginning to understand our own physics, matter, and realities.
 
Hadn't eaten in 3 days before now. Went and bought a pavlova (sugary creamy cake..) and 3 croissants. I ate ALL OF IT. The WHOLE cake. Luckily it didn't mention calorie content otherwise I'd be looking at it and bawling like right about now. Probably around the 2500 mark though.. plus the croissants. I feel so guilty. I want to vomit but I don't know how to make myself throw up. I can never do it right.
 
mrs_mia_wallace said:
I'm the same way, can't stomach any kind of medication/vitamins on an empty stomach.

I try and just time taking my meds with when I eat something, but this method fails frequently. What helps me not vomit/feel naeseous is to take them with yogurt, even if it's just one or two spoonfulls. Personally it's easier for me to handle having a spoonful of yogurt than a piece of bread, and it stops me from getting sick. Applesauce works well too, but yogurt has more nutrients and works a bit for better.

If you feel like that's too difficult, try just taking them with millk instead of water, that will help somewhat. Drinking a whole glass would be best but if you can't do even a couple sips will do something for your body... I usually don't even pour the milk out, just take one swig from the carton (I'm the only one that drinks soy milk in my apartment).
Click to expand...


The bf has been encourageing a glass of carnation instant breakfast with my meds. so I can get some vitamins. Its not so bad.
 
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