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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

TDS Eating Disorders Megathread

just eat when you're not naeseous? if you're not worried about gaining weight i don't really understand what you're difficulty is.

dave--- my meth use is increasing daily but i know in comparison to most i don't use very much. and at this point i just don't really have the motivation to get out of bed and go to work/school unless i know i'm getting high... the thought of quitting is just too damn scary.
but last night ended up being a complete waste because i ate so much that i ended up vomitting for two hours this morning, so i need to figure out a working method of dealing with this.
 
I really hope you work something out for yourself soon mia, you are a lovely girl and I know you can beat this <3
Please feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk about it okay??
 
The issue is I don't like eating. I dont feel like eating when I'm like that, therefore I don't eat, therefore I don't gain weight. So kinda look a little sick and have for while now. I know my issues aren't as big as yours but there is food issues there...
 
your issues aren't as big as mine... hmnm, i wasn't aware we were competing? anyway my post was more just confusion as to why eating is an isssue for you if you're not worried about gaining weight (since that's why most people with an eating disorder don't like eating). if you're just NOT hungry and you're underweight, i would go see a doctor..... that's more a physical thing not an ED thing, in my opinion.
i also just think it's bad to for anyone to start identifying with aspects of mental disorders beause it's a self fullfilling prophecy/really easy way for it to become a part of your identity but i'll skip that rant for now since i don't get the impression it would interest you.

n3ophy7e- thank you, i hope you're right :( and i make sure to pm <3
 
No, they have tested. They have checked it...
I've had problems with food since grade school...
College, I had an ED. Came down to 2 of my fellow psychology major threatening me if I didn't start eating again they would commit me. It snapped me back. I was underweight and sick, passing out from the heat in the shower..
Idk maybe I just don't belong here...not sick enough anymore...
 
Ugh, I'm doing pretty poorly. Juggling between eating and drinking issues. It seems as I get on top of one problem the other spirals out of control. :(
 
pillthrill - i tend to hav a bad relationship with food, naturally
its not an ED, but i can identify with the not being hungry and being underweight - although im no longer like this
in high school i just cudnt seem to eat anything and i was losing weight like crazy (bear in mind i was on meth) - it really worried my mum cos she thought i had anorexia
wen i came off meth at first i was hungry all the time then i lapsed back into not really wanting to eat and being pretty thin
i luv eating really but i tend to feel nauseous and just cant b fucked eating unless i force it down
i went to the doctor - lo and behold it turned out to b my meds! turns out valium makes some ppl nauseous.....im one of them......
maybe u shud look at seeing a doctor and discussing side effects of all the drugs (prescribed and unprescribed) u use and see if this cud b causing ur issues around food
even if ur a regular pot-smoker, for some ppl, including me, this can fuck with ur diet and how much u feel like eating (pot actually causes nausea in some ppl)
sorry i cant give much info on actual EDs cause theyre just not anything ive ever experienced, cud just relate to wat pillthrill was saying
but gd luck to all of u out there - the only one of u ive actually seen photos of is neo, and girl u r gorgeous, i hope oneday u realise that!
mia - as far as meth goes, if u want to talk privately with someone whos bn there....getting sick of the whole shitbag that comes with it, dont hesitate to PM me
btw pillthrill, u r entitled to post in watever thread u feel like, its not about whether ur 'sick enough' or not - i dont think anyone meant it like that :)
 
belarki said:
Ugh, I'm doing pretty poorly. Juggling between eating and drinking issues. It seems as I get on top of one problem the other spirals out of control. :(
Click to expand...

Sorry to hear that mate :(
That seems to be the way it goes for a lot of people. Are you seeing a counsellor or anything? Often, until you get to the root of the problem, things just keep going around in cycles, such as what you are experiencing.
I really hope you sort things out soon <3
 
n3ophy7e said:
Sorry to hear that mate :(
That seems to be the way it goes for a lot of people. Are you seeing a counsellor or anything? Often, until you get to the root of the problem, things just keep going around in cycles, such as what you are experiencing.
I really hope you sort things out soon <3
Click to expand...

Thanks for the kind words neo. I was seeing a psychiatrist but haven't for a few months. I'll have to see my GP at least in the short term to get a fresh script for meds though. Yeh it is a cycle; a vicious self-destructive one :\
 
drug_wench said:
pillthrill - i tend to hav a bad relationship with food, naturally
its not an ED, but i can identify with the not being hungry and being underweight - although im no longer like this
in high school i just cudnt seem to eat anything and i was losing weight like crazy (bear in mind i was on meth) - it really worried my mum cos she thought i had anorexia
wen i came off meth at first i was hungry all the time then i lapsed back into not really wanting to eat and being pretty thin
i luv eating really but i tend to feel nauseous and just cant b fucked eating unless i force it down
i went to the doctor - lo and behold it turned out to b my meds! turns out valium makes some ppl nauseous.....im one of them......
maybe u shud look at seeing a doctor and discussing side effects of all the drugs (prescribed and unprescribed) u use and see if this cud b causing ur issues around food
even if ur a regular pot-smoker, for some ppl, including me, this can fuck with ur diet and how much u feel like eating (pot actually causes nausea in some ppl)
sorry i cant give much info on actual EDs cause theyre just not anything ive ever experienced, cud just relate to wat pillthrill was saying
but gd luck to all of u out there - the only one of u ive actually seen photos of is neo, and girl u r gorgeous, i hope oneday u realise that!
mia - as far as meth goes, if u want to talk privately with someone whos bn there....getting sick of the whole shitbag that comes with it, dont hesitate to PM me
btw pillthrill, u r entitled to post in watever thread u feel like, its not about whether ur 'sick enough' or not - i dont think anyone meant it like that :)
Click to expand...

I've had all the meds changed around and off and on stuff with no changes. I haven't had pot a long time, although I always found it helpful to help me eat. They have drawn my blood more than once to check my thyroid and thats not it. They said I would gain weight on depo shots and I didn't, perhaps its just the way I am. Sean wants to modify my behavior, so perhaps I'll have to force as much food as I can on his behalf.
 
I've lost 2 of the kg I gained after quitting crystal meth, 7 more to go,
however I probablly havn't been doing it the best way..
My friend gets sleeping pills prescribed to him, and I been buying some of them off him and using them to be able to go to bed hungry, normally I can't sleep if I havn't eaten.
 
libby - ill just warn u about sleeping pills
dont take them evry night
do so for more than a month and ull end up with a tranquiliser addiction - physically one of the worst addictions ull go thru
certainly makes meth (physically) look easy to beat
try other natural options like valerian, chamomile, passionflower, etc
PM me for more ideas on getting to sleep.....naturally

phatass - yes BL is a gd place to b honest
TDS is a gd place to b honest but sensitive - it is a little diffrent to other BL forums
uve bn round long enough to know the ropes
if u dont understand something there r better ways of going about questioning it than the way u did, which i feel was an offensive, insensitive way to go about it
dont put stress like that on vulnerable ppl with a form of mental illness, trying to support each other in future plz
 
Its zopiclone, is it terribly addictive? hmm I will stop doing every night.
I also have the option of diazepam, if that would be better.
Or maybe I should just not take either of them...
How does everyone else manage to get any sleep when they're hungry? any safe tricks?
I've now only 6.5kg left to go, so it shouldnt be long before i can add more to my menu and not have such insomnia.
 
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Hmm, serious. I haven't been able to deal with, well being so unhappy and been eating Ambien just to knock me out all the time...
 
If you can't sleep because you're so hungry, you should eat something. :( Going to bed a bit hungry is normal, but if you're so hungry that you can't even get to sleep, eat something. If you really don't want to eat MORE, I would suggest manuvering your eating around somewhat so you aren't going hours without eating any food. If that doesn't help, try and take some natural sleeping aids, like drug_wench mentioned.

Like everyone else said, sleeping pills are a HORRIBLE addiction. I was an insomniac from the age of about four, and I've been on many different types of sleep aids (Ambien, Seroquel, Lunesta, Trazadone). At this point, I can't sleep without them at all. Whether I've psychologically conditioned my body/mind to believe sleeping without them is possible or I'm still an insomniac, I'm not sure. But at this point I know I'll never have a natural sleep cycle, I've been relying on sleeping pills for so long.

The only method I can say that might help you is that sometimes sleeping meds don't even do it for me, so my usual routine then is to just lie down in the dark, close my eyes, and make sure there's nothing on (TV, radio, lights) that would distract me. I think it just forces your body to shut down, and with nothing going on at all, complete boredom is a good sleep aid. Good luck girl, and congrats on getting off the meth, that's awesome and inspring to hear. <3

Update for me... I'm so pissed at my father right now. I ate more like this week because I was supposed to see my him today (pick up something from my parents house)... only lost .6 (lost but much better than 2-3 I was losing previously) and it was horrible, especially because I've been around my boy and I feel disgusting when I'm eating and having someone looking/touching my body makes it ten times worse.
He sent me an email yesterday telling me he wasn't going to see me and that he would just drop the stuff at my work (not even my apartment) because he really didn't want to talk to me. he also told me not to call the house anymore (called my mom last week) because "no one there wants to speak to you as long as you're going to continue killing yourself with this stupid eating disorder shit." I’m just so angry at him now, I know I need to do this on my own but now I just feel guilty and disgusting for eating so much and it doesn’t even matter anymore.
 
usually EDs r worked on thru intensive therapy, draigan
like anything else, really, theres bn drugs put out (anti-depressants etc) proven to help but as usual therapy always works best in the long run

mia, im sorry to hear about ur bf - no offense but he sounds like an insensitive prick who doesnt even try to understand wat ur going thru
a decent partner will do their best to find out all they can about disorders that their partner suffer from and how they can help
ur worth more than wat he has to offer sweetie <3

libby - zopiclone and valium both fall into the category of minor tranquilisers/sedatives/hypnotics - and yes, both r highly addictive, physically and for some ppl, psychologically
ur playing with fire if u use those
im a valium addict, waiting to b weaned off thru TRANX - i hate the stuff with a passion
again i say, valerian, chamomile and passionflower r the best
u can get 2gm valerian capsules from the pharmacy - thats the highest potency available here and it is at least as potent as wat u r currently taking esp if combined with well-steeped passionflower/chamomile tea....only not addictive
get as much magnesium/calcium into ur body as possible as well
but, as mia said, really u need to eat something to fall asleep - ur body is desperately trying to tell u something sweetie
but then i dont know wat its like to hav anorexia so i know its all very well for me to say
i know it doesnt help anything but ive met u in person and u dont just hav a beautiful soul, u r gorgeous on the outside too
 
Draigan- the definition of a disorder is that it is enough a disturbance that it affects your ability to function/do the things you have to do to survive. Obviously for you overeating/eating just makes you feel “into a hole.” Like Claire said, it has a much larger impact on our lives.

Here are some of the ways anorexia affects my life; I spend every moment of the day thinking about food, whether I should eat or not, how many calories were in something I ate that I didn’t measure out. I don’t eat at a restaurants (won't go out with friends or on dates to them) because it’s impossible for me to make it through a meal, and I won’t be able to function afterwards (I will be up all night or not able to concentrate at work because I’ll be obsessing over calories/what was in the meal that I didn’t know about). If I try and eat a large amount of food, or are forced to, I will spend hours crying because I feel so guilty. I’ve had numerous panic attacks after being forced my roommates/parents/treatment programs to eat large meals, and if I don’t do some form of exercise a day, I will become so panicked about gaining weight I’ll have a panic attack.

I spend every moment of everyday feeling disgusting, fat, and gross. I’m so consumed by these feelings and by my obsession with how much I’ve eaten that in the past and present I’ve gotten into car accidents, failed classes and screwed up at work because I couldn't concentrate. There are some days I wake up and feel so horrible about my body that I can’t get out of bed and get dressed because I don’t want to look at myself and can’t let other people look at me. When I gain weight, I will become so depressed that I can’t go outside. Last year when I gained 10 pounds from heroin detox I stayed in my apartment for four weeks and lost my job because I was too ashamed to go outside.

My eating disorder is basically what fuels my addiction to methamphetamine because the thought of feeling hungry scares me so much (possibility of eating) that I began using meth/still use to avoid that sensation.
Physically, there’s about a 90% chance I’ll never be able to have children because I’ve fucked up my reproductive system so much, my bone density is .2 away from osteoporosis, my heart is severely comprised (basically had a very small heart attack a few years ago).

I’m not looking for pity here because I know that all of this is self-induced and that is I could have stopped/could stop my life would drastically improve. But if it was that simple don't you thinkl it would have happened by now? This thing has ruined my relationship with my parents, friends, career as a gymnast, and my health. I've spent 15% of my life in hospitals/treatment centers for this. SO does that qualify as a mental “disease” for you?

I really just DON’T appreciate people telling me that this thing that disrupts my ability to function as human being is “bullshit” and as simple as “skinny girls are ugly, you should feel bad about not eating when people don’t’ have food, food tastes so good.” First of all, I haven’t had the ability to enjoy the act of eating food in years and probably never will. I eat because I know I'll die if I don't have some minimal amount of calories. Secondly, I’m not THAT vain to stay in my apartment long enough to lose my job because I’m not pretty enough. Feeling fat is equivalent to feeling disfigured for me. And thirdly, trust me, I feel guilty enough about food and having anorexia every minute of the day, so don’t give me another reason to hate myself.

It takes immense effort for me to get through the day and sit down to eat a 50 calorie portion of fruit, so PLEASE don’t condescend to me and act like my struggle with this is meaningless, especially when you clearly don’t know what you’re talking about (that’s to phatass).

After rereading my post: You’ve caught me on a bad day--- and my dad basically has the same view point as phatass and you and for the millionth time gave it to me againh today, so don't take the above as a personal attack.
 
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