• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

TDS Eating Disorders Megathread

yes, i'm better!!! finally went to a doc -- first "annual" in, like, 4 years, and the urinalysis came back showing a protein deficiency. it causes water retention. i did not know this. anyway, i got prescription liquid protein, and a diuretic, and i'm happyhappyhappy!! because
i lost 12 lbs! all at once! 4 days! i've levelled off now, which is fine, because i had to pee every 10 seconds, but i'm SO stoked to finally have that weight off that's been plagueing me for months! (it was hard not to run to the scales after every pee, lol!) and to think, food restriction was actually responsible for the problem.....whoa!

so, new resolution: no more purging, no more binging, no more unreasonable fasting. i've been doing good so far.......it's only been a few days, though. 5 or 6 nano-meals a day, and not just lettuce and carrots, either! i've been fishing and canning salmon all month, and i'm eating some of it, dammit!

i'm doin' the size 6 dance -- woohooo!
 
Amen sisters...

n3ophy7e said:
Honey, this is the story of my life the last few years. I've had injury after injury after injury, which force me to take lengthy breaks from exercise each time.
You MUST let your injuries heal though, otherwise your total down time will end up being much longer because you'll just be making the injured muscles worse.
Click to expand...

My back issue definitely stirs up my ED. If I can't burn the calories and let my body MOVE (I prefer jazz, tap or modern class to running though) I totally believe on a very basic level that I HAVE NO RIGHT to imbibe on calories. Waiting to heal is such a strange purgatory... Hope you mend up quick ladies!

Ssssh... I am being hopeful. Always seems to bring the wrath of the universe down on me so let's keep it quiet, k :\

Hey Vox, congrats on the size 6! That size 6 dance always feels SOOO good :)
 
here's a weird thing -- my man and i were having fun on our little beach a few weeks ago, and he took some pictures. i hated them then, but now, a few pounds slimmer, i look at them and think, "hey, that's not so hideous".......i thought i was a whale. i was just a woman. i like the pictures now. odd, that.........

still....i wouldn't mind getting a few photos of me 2 sizes smaller....
 
Checking in to vent a bit...

Since I got out of the hospital for my relapse, I HAVE gotten stabalized on meds, namely Depakote. But it has a side effect of weight gain.

I can feel the weight adding up, I'm never full, I feel disgusting. It also is causing acne, which I've never had before.

I know I shouldn't have done it, but I got on the scale the other day and I've gained almost TEN lbs in just over 2 weeks. I know the medication is helping, but it's also not healthy to be gaining so much weight and even the doc agreed that if it gets to be too much we will have to change the med because the risk for stuff like type II diabetes and such goes up when you gain weight quickly, and there have been reports of people gaining like 60 lbs from depakote.

Anyway, I got my blood work done (like lithium, you have to get regular bloodwork with this med) and my levels were too high. My psych will have to lower my dose and hopefully that will curb my appetite. I KNOW this was a bad idea, but I just didn't take my meds last night, and so far today, I ate a normal breakfast and now three hours later I'm not even thinking about food. In the past few weeks, I probably would have eaten breakfast and then two snacks by now. I will take my meds tonight, but maybe 1000mg instead of 1500mg. See if that makes a difference as well.

Other than that, I'm coming up on one month clean/sober this week and feeling really committed to staying that way :)
 
still maintaining.....eating super healthy and not purging.....i feel so much better now! i can't imagine how i got thru all those dark months, but god/dess love the light!! still not ready to give up my scales, though......
 
How f'ed is this: My mother who institutionalized me for an eating disorder as a minor while she has never sought help for her own extreme issues with food was sent a picture of me with friends. Mind you I have not seen her for a few weeks. Her response? "Wow! You almost are SKINNY again! Good work!"

No wonder I am insane.

Felt like sending her a text saying, "Thanks Mama! Kombucha, diet energy drinks, Coke Zero, weed, hookah and Norco are the new wonder diet!"

In addition, my man and I are at it again, this time 'cause I have NO APPETITE. Seriously. I walk around the kitchen, my favorite natural food store, my most beloved of bakeries and cannot find an item to appeal to my gut. I am an outspoken believer in the therapeutic usages of weed, and even with my current stash of Blueberry and Christmas Lights, I cannot even force myself into the munchies. Agh. Any advice? I don't shape up soon, he's really going to get upset with me, which is understandable seeing as he doesn't want me to die..
 
i'm sorry littlegirlblue.really sucks. i had my mom tell me wow your boobs and skin aren't sagging anymore, you look great. that made me not eat even more, even though eating and drinking woulda made that go away. my bf gets on me too when i dont eat much for a few days, just eat something to make him happy. he's doing it xcause he loves you :) i hate being forced to eat especially when i'm not hungry. opt for things like sweets cause they will fill you up. that's what I do. or try to eat some fruit. in days where its hard to get ANYTHING down, fruit smoothies mmmm.
 
I try to take it one day at a time. But obviously the obsession with food and compulsive behaviors that come with it are still prominent in my life. Still obsessing and compulsively drinking water, not eating condiments, little things like that as little as they may be, are a crucial part of my everyday life.

This is the longest I've gone eating "normally" and by normally I mean eating and not purging and not starving myself. I can't say that I haven't thought about the last few pounds I want to shed. Or how badly I want to fast. But I know my body just can't take it right now.
 
since i quit drinkinking beer 5 days ago, i've been eating emotionally, to fill the gap, i guess. i've stuck with mostly fruits and vegs, but i got on the scales this morning, and i've gained a pound. yes, i know, one pound is nothing to freak out about, but IT'S IN THE WRONG DIRECTION!! this is the sort of thing that sets off some pretty unhealthy compulsions. i'm gonna try to replace the emotional eating with water, and still eat sensibly, but it's not going to be easy to choke down anything until that stupid pound is gone :(.
 
I don't want to alarm you vox, but you do know that beer contains a lot of calories don't you?

When I am 'emotionally' eating I try to keep healthy choices in the house like filtered water, fruit and veges. It helps a lot. :)
 
^ i realize that beer is majorly caloric, but it doesn't seem to "stick" like, say, pasta or dairy. just my chemistry, i guess. drinking also tends to make me want to be active right up to the point that i tip over.

happily, the scales were my friend this morning. i lost that evil pound, plus another besides. i know i will fluctuate a bit, but i have an upper limit, over which i NEVER want to be again!

i've been trying to keep the mindless munching to fruits and vegs, but i must have over-stepped on the bananas and avacados. until i'm over the hump with my sobriety, i'm sticking to carrots and apples! that was scary! i fought that weight futilly for months -- i will NOT gain it back, EVER!
 
Hello. Anorexic here. Bulimic for about 3 years and anorexic since like 13y/o or something. i wish I could get treatment and recover, but it would be no use because I know i would relapse. Congrats on everyone who has recovered and doing well.

Anorexia is the only thing in my life that I can control.
 
I suffer from uncontrollable urges to binge on sugar. I was a full on drug addict, never had sugar problems prior to this, when i come off and detoxed i compensated by just eating vast amounts of sugar. Years later and the habit stuck. Ive tried so hard to clean up my diet... but i find myself eating sugar... and then going crazy rushing around eating as much sugar crap as i can get my hands on. I literally get a huge high. Its ruining my life.
 
^sounds familiar. Food became my drug of choice a couple times only to be supplanted by harder drugs. I have gained about 50 pounds in a year and now I have lost 50 pounds this year a lot of which is due to adderall. At the moment I am eating "normally" and maintaining my weight. If I come off the adderall though, I will be on an out-of-control binge of salty and sweet.
 
i was diagnosed with anorexia and bulimia at age 13 im now in my 20's and it hasnt gotten any easier ive never fully got better...ie been in and out of programs and my mom always thought shes finally fixed..(i never really thought i was broken)..news to me...LOL whenever i was not at my worst i was always masking it with something else cutting, and now my most recent endevor drugs. i think my insides will never be happy..not trying to depress anyone i just can relate with a lot of you. i just got out of treatment once again it was a 30day. gained about 15pounds *GROSS* but lost it all and and a lil more and ive been home now for almost 2 weeks...im hoping i can keep it under control but then again this disease is all about control so maybe that not the right word..but im sure u get my drift. ;) good luck
 
Hi all. I would appreciate any advice anyone may have to offer.

My cousin lives in a different country, but I recently went to stay with her for a week. We are not particularly close, but have become more so over the last year. She has started texting/emailing me saying how unhappy she is with her life and her weight. She is quite reclusive and doesn't have any close friends.

After this visit I strongly suspect she is bulimic. I'm wondering how or indeed if I should broach this subject with her. Should I come right out and mention the b word? Or should I just offer general support if there's anything troubling her? As I say, she does open the channel of communication about emotive subjects at times.

She doesn't seem very emotionally balanced or stable, in fact she seems in a pretty bad place so I was wondering if there are any do's & don'ts that may help me to help her. If anyone has any advice I would be grateful.
 
Badandwicked, about being a good cousin...

badandwicked said:
Hi all. I would appreciate any advice anyone may have to offer.

My cousin lives in a different country, but I recently went to stay with her for a week. We are not particularly close, but have become more so over the last year. She has started texting/emailing me saying how unhappy she is with her life and her weight. She is quite reclusive and doesn't have any close friends.

After this visit I strongly suspect she is bulimic. I'm wondering how or indeed if I should broach this subject with her. Should I come right out and mention the b word? Or should I just offer general support if there's anything troubling
her? As I say, she does open the channel of communication about emotive subjects at times.

She doesn't seem very emotionally balanced or stable, in fact she seems in a pretty bad place so I was wondering if there are any do's & don'ts that may help me to help her. If anyone has any advice I would be grateful.
Click to expand...

Of course, this is just MY advice, so indeed, read the responses of others and look into your heart as well B&W. Since the two of you are apparently in fairly consistent contact via e-mail, I would suggest sending her a heart-felt letter stating that you are concerned for her happiness... and her well being. Offer a safe space for her to share and let her know how much you care. No accusations about disordered eating. No mention of her body image. If she is really in the middle of an ED, it is mos likely she will deny and close up to you if you go there first. I would let her respond and gauge your next move against what she shares with you.
Please note that EDs are EXTREMELY insidious and unless she is ready, she will more than likely do ANYTHING and everything in her power to keep control over her binge/purge coping mechanism, etc. At least, I know I have. I have watched other girls make the same choice as well, even with warnings from those of us who have journeyed this dark land.
Unconditional love, compassion, understanding and finesse are all required of you if you choose to confront her about her obvious pain. I wish you luck B&W! Please keep us posted concerning how she responds!
<3
 
Last edited:
^ thanks littlegirlblue. Its just made all the more difficult by the physical distance between us, and it all has to be done over the phone, text or email. I'll definitely tell her what you suggested, but I doubt she'll be forthcoming. I can't help thinking if I was there with her, it would be easier to get into a long discussion, and she may be more likeley to tell. Maybe I'll go visit again when I get some money. In the meantime at least she'll know she can open up to me if she ever gets the urge. Thanks for taking the time to reply, and this thread is good as it gives me a bit of an insight into a condition I know nothing about.
 
MidnightBaby said:
I know there are BLers, men and women, who've suffered in similar ways, please tell us your story.

How can you start digging your way out??
Click to expand...

Well, for about 10 years I was addicted to hot peppers of every kind. Really, really hot peppers went on all my food, and I got used to them. Enough so that I started to put them on other people's food and they couldn't take the heat, literally. From that point on my ex-gf didn't want me to do any of the cooking, which was fine with me. I was able to taper myself off of the really, really, hot peppers until I got down to the mild perrerchinis. From that point on it was smooth sailing. I have been clean from hot peppers for about 5 years now. I started losing count of my clean time after about a year of abstinance from hot peppers.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top