Easing the transition

[whitexrabbit]

I consider myself in a mild addiction with not many physical symptoms, but I am noticing mental ones.
I'm no longer using iv, and am no longer seeking out pills. I back slid last week with a small amout of vicodin, and couldn't help but notice the ease of the day, the closeness I felt with my kids and my spouse. Everything felt right. I know that feeling was artificial.
I feel rather flat lately now that I'm not using, and am looking for links or anecdotal advice on ways to make myself feel better naturally. I love my family, but have a hard time enjoying my time with them lately or anything for that matter.
I feel ready to cut myself off for good, and want to take every measure to not use again.

 

[Just A Guy]

I consider myself in a mild addiction with not many physical symptoms, but I am noticing mental ones.
I'm no longer using iv, and am no longer seeking out pills. I back slid last week with a small amout of vicodin, and couldn't help but notice the ease of the day, the closeness I felt with my kids and my spouse. Everything felt right. I know that feeling was artificial.
I feel rather flat lately now that I'm not using, and am looking for links or anecdotal advice on ways to make myself feel better naturally. I love my family, but have a hard time enjoying my time with them lately or anything for that matter.
I feel ready to cut myself off for good, and want to take every measure to not use again.

I've been through the "feeling rather flat" myself, a few times even. But the position you're taking right now, taking control of your addiction (even if it's mild, as you put it) is always better taken sooner than later. Why don't you join us over in our staying sober thread for December?

 

[ad lib]

We sound very similar.

I was using opiates IV for 2 years. Then I got sober March of this year, was clean until I relapsed last week on OxyContin. Not IV, "just" oral. Like you, it made me feel happy, like I wanted to be closer to people, etc. Now I just feel really depressed and blah again.

I feel like we initially get addicted because of how good the drug makes us feel. In my case, it was as if I was masking my depression with the drugs. I think it's the case for many users.

My suggestion is to try and find the root cause of what makes you want to use and then address it. Mine is loneliness and anxiety. It's something personal and it may take time.

 

[gingerbaker]

Just remember that it can take some time to start to feel "good" again. It took me about 3-6 months to start to be able to feel "complete" again (I hope you are getting what I mean by that).

Opiates did the same thing for me too; they made me feel whole, complete. The also made me feel somewhat "normal" which is something that I still experience whenever I have to take any kind of analgesic for pain situations (it's been rare and uncomfortable). Eventually you will start to feel good again and not so flat and not so much anhedonia. I found that picking up hobbies (especially new ones) made the transition better and gave me something "new" to help solidify my new way of life by giving an association with that and being clean. Also, don't discount the benefit of aerobic exercise and what it can do for endorphins (us junkies love them).

Like mentioned above, sometimes there are underlying issues that cause us to start self-medicating. Attending some support groups (not neccesarily 12-step groups) or getting some therapy also never urts and has also been of great benefit to me.

Good luck man, you can do it and live a clean life that actually feels GOOD!

 

[shroomster]

Just remember that it can take some time to start to feel "good" again. It took me about 3-6 months to start to be able to feel "complete" again (I hope you are getting what I mean by that).

Opiates did the same thing for me too; they made me feel whole, complete. The also made me feel somewhat "normal" which is something that I still experience whenever I have to take any kind of analgesic for pain situations (it's been rare and uncomfortable). Eventually you will start to feel good again and not so flat and not so much anhedonia. I found that picking up hobbies (especially new ones) made the transition better and gave me something "new" to help solidify my new way of life by giving an association with that and being clean. Also, don't discount the benefit of aerobic exercise and what it can do for endorphins (us junkies love them).

Like mentioned above, sometimes there are underlying issues that cause us to start self-medicating. Attending some support groups (not neccesarily 12-step groups) or getting some therapy also never urts and has also been of great benefit to me.

Good luck man, you can do it and live a clean life that actually feels GOOD!

You're trying to rush something that takes months, my man. Take it easy, and go with the flow. If you stay clean, those good or normal feelings will come back

My friend just got out of jail and is only clean as long as she's been in jail. She comes out, calls me and tells me how she doesn't have any friends, and she wants a job, and she doesnt feel like her life is under control, she doesn't have a grip on herself and so forth. What she wants, takes years to accomplish. You're in a different boat, I know, but what you're asking for is to feel normal, but you haven't given yourself nearly enough time of sobriety to feel that way.

When I first got clean, it took me 6 months to feel normal. SIX. And even then, I was an anxious mess who didn't know what way was up. I had a relapse a few months later, and I swear to you it felt like I started from square one. I didn't feel quite so uncomfortable, but it still took a few months for me to feel like I was in the drivers seat.

I found that regular exercise sped up the process

 

[whitexrabbit]

Thanks for th responses. I'll check out the big thread. I'm having a hard day and coming back to understanding comments helps.
It actually feels worse this week. Everything feels wrong and I know if I used I would feel better. Luckily I have nothing on hand.
I totally am trying to rush into feeling better. I actually was trying to convince my husband we wanted another baby. (Yeah worst idea ever) probably just looking for the euphoric new baby dopamine rush.
Hubby isn't dumb though. He did get me to work out with him once this week.
I'm having a hard time sleeping even with ambien. Just BLaH. Trying to be a good girl and give it time.
Underlying depression might be accurate too. I've had short flirtations with narcotics over the years, just not as bad as this one. Could be self treating.

 

[shroomster]

Thanks for th responses. I'll check out the big thread. I'm having a hard day and coming back to understanding comments helps.
It actually feels worse this week. Everything feels wrong and I know if I used I would feel better. Luckily I have nothing on hand.
I totally am trying to rush into feeling better. I actually was trying to convince my husband we wanted another baby. (Yeah worst idea ever) probably just looking for the euphoric new baby dopamine rush.
Hubby isn't dumb though. He did get me to work out with him once this week.
I'm having a hard time sleeping even with ambien. Just BLaH. Trying to be a good girl and give it time.
Underlying depression might be accurate too. I've had short flirtations with narcotics over the years, just not as bad as this one. Could be self treating.

IMO, you should stay away from anti depressants/anxiety drugs until you have a few months under your belt. You're all over the place right now, so no doctor can rightfully diagnose you with anything other than drug addiction, yet they won't skip a beat to give you an Rx. If I saw a psychiatrist in my first 3 months clean, I'd be in a straight jacket and on anti psychotics, guaranteed.

Give it time. My moods were crazy my first few months. There were weeks where I didn't think I'd make it, but like, no more than 3 days later I'd feel fantastic, then ah shit I'm going to kill myself, and repeat. Comes with the territory

Lift some weights, women